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skullsandfire
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16 Jul 2011, 7:57 pm

How can you tell if a women is gay i got horrible gaydar
i can tell when there butch by i like straight looking girls
any help would be appreciated



Phonic
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16 Jul 2011, 11:19 pm

You can't, gaydar is a myth.


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ceres
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20 Jul 2011, 8:11 pm

Have you ever read Effingdykes? Krista (the author) writes a combination personal blog/gaydar tips. Femmes are stealth, even for people who consider themselves to have good gaydar. Gaydar isn't exactly a myth--I recall a study that showed people were able to pick out gay men just by looking at their faces. I basically just memorized rules other people tell me, although it results in many false positives. I am attracted to butches, bois, andros, GQs--typically MOC people mostly, so I never had to deal with learning to spot femmes.

Anyways, some things I've heard about spotting femmes :
+Fedoras and beanies (this one applies to all lesbians)
+Asymmetry (this is all lesbians again, think hair and clothes)
+Belts with the buckle off to one side
+Affiliation with a sports team (this one is iffy)
+Facial piercings (especially lip rings)
+Plugs and tunnels
+The "dyke nod" which is a greeting/acknowledgement that looks like tipping your head back/thrusting your chin up
+Checking you or another woman out



tomtoyou
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04 Aug 2011, 9:53 pm

Phonic wrote:
You can't, gaydar is a myth.


> sometimes people are gay and don't know it
> sometimes people say they are gay and are straight
> you just have to roll with the punches and feel out the situation



WhenSunFalls
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05 Aug 2011, 1:52 pm

ceres wrote:
Have you ever read Effingdykes? Krista (the author) writes a combination personal blog/gaydar tips. Femmes are stealth, even for people who consider themselves to have good gaydar. Gaydar isn't exactly a myth--I recall a study that showed people were able to pick out gay men just by looking at their faces. I basically just memorized rules other people tell me, although it results in many false positives. I am attracted to butches, bois, andros, GQs--typically MOC people mostly, so I never had to deal with learning to spot femmes.

Anyways, some things I've heard about spotting femmes :
+Fedoras and beanies (this one applies to all lesbians)
+Asymmetry (this is all lesbians again, think hair and clothes)
+Belts with the buckle off to one side
+Affiliation with a sports team (this one is iffy)
+Facial piercings (especially lip rings)
+Plugs and tunnels
+The "dyke nod" which is a greeting/acknowledgement that looks like tipping your head back/thrusting your chin up
+Checking you or another woman out



I love fedoras and beanies. My hair is pretty asymmetric. My belts are never straight forward.
I have 2 lip rings and 2 nose rings. I do have a plug. I do that "dyke nod". And I check out other women.
So, apart from the sports team, I apply to everything... I still people won't believe I'm a real lesbian. =/

Funny, I didn't really realize anything of this until now. At least, I never linked it with "being a lesbian".



puddingmouse
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06 Aug 2011, 3:46 pm

I only do the fedora and checking other women out (cannot stand beanies) - not as a gay statement, though. I like my symmetrical hair and unpunctured face. I'm actually bi and living with a man, but I've realised I'm more gay than straight.

I've always looked straight, even when I had short hair. I can spot stereotypical bi girls because the obvious ones are wearing pentagrams, purple stuff, being curvy, being a goth/rocker/pagan in general and also the facial piercings thing (none of which I do, apart from having a few somewhat gothy items of clothing).

Screw being a stereotype and screw screwing a stereotype. :lol: It's annoying enough when straights let their sexuality dictate what they do outside the bedroom.

EDIT: Another one would be the nail length: practicing lesbians do not have long nails. Hmm...


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WhenSunFalls
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07 Aug 2011, 9:36 am

puddingmouse wrote:
I only do the fedora and checking other women out (cannot stand beanies) - not as a gay statement, though. I like my symmetrical hair and unpunctured face. I'm actually bi and living with a man, but I've realised I'm more gay than straight.

I've always looked straight, even when I had short hair. I can spot stereotypical bi girls because the obvious ones are wearing pentagrams, purple stuff, being curvy, being a goth/rocker/pagan in general and also the facial piercings thing (none of which I do, apart from having a few somewhat gothy items of clothing).

Screw being a stereotype and screw screwing a stereotype. :lol: It's annoying enough when straights let their sexuality dictate what they do outside the bedroom.

EDIT: Another one would be the nail length: practicing lesbians do not have long nails. Hmm...


I am a "Goth" and I do wear pentagrams and such. Though I don't really know much bi or lesbian girls 'in the scene'. There just aren't many of them.
(Which is also weird, since one of the prejudices about "being a Goth" is the homosexuality. I don't know why.)

Nail length, indeed. Though I never have really short nails, I've never hurt anybody with them. :wink: