Parents Keeping Feminine Pictures (Need Advice Please)

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I am a FTM transgender. My entire adolescence since puberty has been hell. I would never smile at the camera, and I felt like I was an empty shell. Yet my dad keeps pictures of me, nonsmiling, awkward, and sad in what should have been the prime of my life.

They are displayed in the front of the house, so when I come in for a visit the pictures are the first thing I see. They remind me of all the horrible emotions, teasing, and mental breakdowns I went through. I tried talking to my dad about it, but he just said he was not getting rid of them. I view it as lack of acceptance and I do not understand why he would rather love the empty shell of a daughter than his happy son.

I already destroyed all the pictures of my adolescent self in my mother's house. She was mad for a while but then she calmed down.

I am just thinking of taking the pictures in my dad's house in the middle of the night and destroying them. Or I could try a different approach. Help?

That sounds really upsetting. I don't think it's fair that your Dad won't listen to you and take them down.

I don't know whether destroying the photo's without his permission is a good idea, because I don't know how your Dad would react. But, I can see why you would want to, and I don't think anyone could blame you.

Ask them to put them away. I know they make you sad, but for your parents pictures of you growing up, make them happy and stir memories, I think they would want to keep them. However they can do that in private and take them down from public view, I think that is reasonable. Perhaps write your dad a letter so he can take in the information better if he has problems listening to you say it.

Perhaps you can ask that he moves them to a different foom, instead of having them out front for all to see.

I'd be upset about it, if my parents were doing the same thing with my pictures.

Can you stop going to his house until he takes them down? That's what I'd do.

I think The Raven has a good idea. The pictures being put away could serve both your need to not be constantly reminded of those times, and his need to look at the pictures to help remember those happy times in his life. Perhaps you can find a way of explaining it in terms he can understand. Everyone has parts of their life they would raather the world didn't know. You probably know what it is for your dad. Perhaps an analogy would help with the explanation.