How to know if you're gay or straight?

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I have been very confused as to were my sexuality lies. I have nothing against gay people or lesbians. I hate it when people use labels to identifying people. Their sexuality doesn't change who they are. I'm sixteen have been called gay and other stuff. It gets to me sometimes.

When I look at women, I don't get aroused or attracted. I don't see the point in having sex with anyone. It just seems disgusting to me. However, when I see a guy with no top on or naked it sort turns me on. But, then after I feel disgusting and even more confused.

Having this personality, is tough. I watch a lot of television shows that girls would watch. I really wanted loads of female friends because they seem so nice. But, boy was I wrong.

I tried to befriend the popular girl in my class, and it backfired big time. I came across gay and flamboyant.

I'm a really shy person, with AS. HELLO!

Then to get even more confused I thought I wanted to be a women. I was looking up all these stories of transgender people and surgery. I told my mother and she didn't understand it one bit. Looking back on it, I can understand now.

You see, In 2004 my mother left my father on boxing day and didn't return until a week later to get me and my sister. My father was and still is to this day an alcoholic. We moved in with my mothers sister house. Then we moved into the town. Four years of livening there with my dad coming in drinking. We would come to see us, but I felt so betrayed when he said he wasn't drinking, when he clearly was.

Now, my sister and mother are now back out in the country. My father still comes and goes as he pleases. It annoys the s**t out of me. ahhhhhhhhh!

Any way, I think I have a crush on this dude, I get really nervous and a butterfly feeling in my stomach when he is around. Or even the mention of his name. But, I still have feelings for women. I get really turned on watching lesbians kiss. I know now that I'm not gender confused, but sexually confused.

I don't like blonde women or any other stereotypical girl. I like people who are calm and not up their own asses. Someone like ugly betty, who is geeky and adorable. Also I dropped out of school due to bullying at the young age of 13. Now I have finished my home tutoring I really don't see a future with me in it. I'm to scared to go out and work. I want to but It just makes me feel depressed and suicidal.

I really don't know what I am gay, bisexual, straight?

Anyone else having this problem?

You sound like you have more severe problems than not being sure whether you are gay, straight or bi or whatever.
You need to see a therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist to deal with your low self esteem and other issues.

You are still young at 16 or 17. You have plenty of time to turn your life around with assistance and be able to live a productive and fulfilling life.

Have you ever heard of the Kinsey Scale? It basically rates your sexuality from asexual to exclusively homosexual on a scale of 0 to 6. Here's the Wikipedia article.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale#Table_of_the_scale

Maybe if you could see where you lie on the scale, you'd be a little less confused over your sexuality.

Being gay, straight or bisexual is a lifestyle choice. You can change from one of those three sexualities just like changing your clothes or hairstyle.

Your sexuality is a lifestyle choice. We all have choices to make and freedom to make our own choices in life.

It's a choice to act on your sexual desires, but being of a particular sexual orientation is not a choice.

Sexual orientation is definitely not a choice. Your are totally wrong on that. If it was a choice, then kids living in homophobic neighborhoods would choose to be straight. Obviously, this is not the case. Sexual orientation is a biological difference, much like AS.

Did you mean to quote Dark_Lord_2008? I'm assuming you did, because that's basically what I said.

yes of course.

I am a strong believer in everything in life is a choice determined by an individual's free will and has the right to make most of the choices/decisions in his/her life. The clothes you wear, the food you eat, the things you buy and the friends you have in your life have been chosen by you. Even sexuality is a lifestyle choice made by you. No one had a gun held to your head telling you had to choose to be a certain sexual orientation.

The only thing not chosen by you is your family. You can not choice your family. Everything else in life is a lifestyle choice and you can choose to be gay, straight or bisexual. No one has a gun hold to your head and demanding that you be gay, straight or bisexual.

If you are not forced to do something it is a lifestyle choice that you can choose. Sexuality is a lifestyle choice, no one has a gun held yo your head. So what will it be: the blue pill(straight), pink bill(gay) or the purple pill(bisexual)?

If a person has no legs and cannot walk, they are not choosing not to walk; they do not have the ability to do so.

You are misguided in your thinking.

You clearly do not understand the difference between an identity and a lifestyle. Sexual attraction is not a choice, it's the result of chemical reactions in our brain. Therefore, it is an identity. To have sex with somebody whom you are attracted to is a matter of choice. There are some people who experience sexual attraction but choose to remain celibate. Celibacy would be considered a choice and a lifestyle.

Basically, what I'm saying is:

Sexual orientation = Identity
Sexual activity (or lack thereof) = Choice (or lifestyle)

Wait do what now? I don't think I could become gay like putting on a new shirt. Sexuality boils down to desire not choice. If you don't have the desire for someone of the same sex/opposite sex/fursuit or what have you then its not a lifestyle choice you can make. Certainly an individual could force themselves to perform a sexual act they don't desire but that wouldn't make them gay or straight or otherwise.

This is a response to all of the arguing i see on this forum. Ok first off, being gay is not a choice. I would love it if i could just make myself straight, and have a normal family with a wife. but im gay, im attracted to men, ive always been attracted to men since the day i was born, and theres nothing i can do to change it. theres something in our brain that makes us attracted to men, its not like i woke up one morning when i was 12 yrs old and sad to myself "hey, you know what josh, why dont i just be gay from now on !" hahaha, sorry but its not how that works. I saw one person say that their a strong believer in a person making their own decisons, well thats very true and keep on believing that, but im afraid that sexual preference isnt a choice. In fact ive been in and out of relationships with girls and always ended them because i couldnt get sexually attracted to them, not even when they touched my butt and i could clearly see their cleavage while slow dancing, i just am attracted to men and thats that.

Honestly, you're young. You're gonna have to experiment and date both sexes to find out what feels right. It took me until I was 23 to come to terms with being gay. However, even now I still waver because sexuality isn't set in stone. Only you can figure it out.

Then what ever you decide, embrace it because it sounds like you have internalized homophobia that's eating you up.

Society metaphorically holds a gun to peoples' heads telling them to be straight, so if even with that, people can't make themselves heterosexual, obviously it is not a choice. One cannot choose who they are attracted to. If that were the case, even relatively straight people like myself would choose to only have feelings for those who have feelings back, and there would be no such thing as unrequited love and everyone would live happily ever after. But we don't get to choose who we are attracted to, no matter what our sexual orientation is.

Regarding the OP, it sounds like you're still discovering and in the process of learning to accept whatever your sexual orientation is. Labels don't change anything, so hopefully you can find a way to be less disgusted when you are attracted to other men. There's nothing wrong with being gay, whether you are that or bisexual

Ever since I was young, I only dreamed about being with another guy,, whether that meant kissing or more. I think dreams can really show people what their true feelings are.

Anyone else?