Sexuality questioned by a physician

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A little while Before I had been diagnosed with AS, I went to visit my local GP.

I told him that I had been having problems conversing and interacting with other people, particularly with persons within my age bracket - and it had been going on for years and years. The Doctor candidly asked if I was a homosexual. :0

That really bothered me, since I had been having some nasty obsessions about sexual perversions, mass murder and Satanism, but was too embarrassed to say (which turned out to be OCD).

So after I said an affirmative NO, he told me to watch some of the local soapies - Home & Away and Neighbours. Needless to say, I went out of that clinic wanting to vomit.

One of my therapists referred to the "bizarre sexual habits" of homosexuals and another told me that homosexuality was a product of childhood sexual abuse. Just because these people have degrees and practices doesn't mean they aren't batsh*t crazy.

I am going to play devil's advocate for a moment.

Physicians aren't experts in everything (we sometimes pretend that we are, alas). GP's need to have a broad base of general understanding so that they can refer people to appropriate specialists when required. But very few GPs are going to know much about socialization disorders. Further, it is not uncommon for young gay people to have socialization problems because our awareness of the difference in our sexuality creates a barrier between us and our peers. From a medical perspective, I think the question was a perfectly proper one.

As for the advice, that's a harder issue. I am often reluctant to substitute my own opinion for another physician's unless I have access to the same, or better clinican information. Sometimes the best medical advice is to do nothing. When dealing with an adolescent who is presenting a generalized, non-specific anxiety, sometimes it is preferable to do nothing formal, because formal therapeutic advice, such as a referral to counselling, can involved parents and guardians in circumstances that turn out to be transient or can create a treatment record that will do more harm than good in the long run.

Take some time to think back to what you actually told the doctor. Were you honest enough about your circumstances to demonstrate to him that this was a significant problem warranting action? Or did you present a lukewarm, vague set of circumstances?

I told the doctor that I has problems communicating, socializing and relating to other people - that was about as frank as I could possibly get as regards myself, at my level of understanding at that time. What I couldn't and don't understand was how that relates to homosexuality.

Granted, I had a terrible time with obsessions - but that wasn't really me, and I understood that, and it was not my primary concern. The doctor's comments had only fueled my OCD (which wasn't known at the time). But besides this, how could I talk about my other personal problems if I can't communicate in a functional and socially acceptable manner?

Fortunately, the doctor gave me a referral to the local mental health clinic - that was probably the best that the Dr could do, I guess, but the other comments regarding watching soap shows were less than helpful.

As I was typing my lay comment, I was wondering if this thread really relates to LGBTQ subforum. This may have been more suitable in "other psychological conditions", yes?

Wow what a bad doctor, or at least a bad approach! He should've asked you on an application form, but left it as optional to answer. I understand why someone in their profession could want to know in certain contexts, but like anyone else, they are only human too. And some of they would be prejudiced about it, they would not advise you properly based on the situations at hand. Definitely be careful! Sounds like you did a great job at that session!

Still wearing my doctor hat, I think that the question was relevant.

Let's be clear, gay teens have higher rates of depression, anxiety disorders and suicide. Many gay adolescents in these circumstances are socially disconnected from their peers, so it is a legitimate course of inquiry. Medical intervention is one way (but by no means the only) to intervene positively in a situation that might call for it.

And I am glad that the doctor provided you with the referral to the mental health clinic--that was an essential piece that appeared to me to be missing. Doctors need to be reminded to memorize the sentence, "This is something that I am not very familiar with, so I want you to see someone who can help you better than I can."

As a side curiosity, if you're not gay why are you posting here?.

(Or did you just say that to the doc just for formality?)

Not saying you're not welcome!

No, not gay.

And that's the point. It was the doctor who questioned me, and I found that rather parculiar - and not very helpful. I did not expect such a question from a physician, given that he only just met me, and since i was previously administered to a family doctor for more than a decade, who did not even mention sex at all.

As for being in this part of the forum, I was not aware that gayness was required, since I have next to no queer traits, except for being 'queer in the head' I suppose

Just to be clear, no 'gayness' is required. The post strikes me as relevant and topical.

I'm interested in your reaction to the question, though, and I wonder if there's a bit of mind blindness behind it. After all, you know that you're not gay--but how does the doctor know that without asking you? You described a set of circumstances to him and he posed a question that seems to me to be linked to your circumstances. Had your answer been different, perhaps it would have presented a different or better option for referral.

As for your previous doctor, how old were you during that "more than a decade?" Did you ever consult that doctor on a problem that might have been related to an issue of sexuality?

I make no assumptions when I see a new patient. And I don't hold back when intimate questions are required. My clinical practice focusses on pulmonary TB, and I ask all my new patients questions about their sexual history because of important clinical links between HIV disease and TB. Now, I take pains to ensure that my patients are aware of why I am asking these things, and the doctor clearly could have done a better job in demonstrating that to you.

Part of the deal with doctor-patient confidentiality is that I get to ask whatever I think I need to, and my patient gets to reply secure in the knowledge that I will keep the patient's information confidential.