Gender confusion

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How do you know what gender you feel? I'm a girl and I kind of feel like one, but maybe it's just because that's the way I was raised. Now I think I might be an androgyne (neither gender or perhaps both at once).
But it might just be because of AS, which makes me less empathetic and stuff.
What do you think? What does "being a girl" (or guy) mean to you?

By the way, being an androgyne doesn't imply hetero/homosexuality (especially because if you're neither or both genders, you can't date someone of the same or opposite gender!).

I'm asexual (androgenous - whatever you want to call it) so I'm not the best person to answer this question, really, but it is something I've thought a lot about having gone from thinking I was a lesbian to thinking I was transgender to realizing that I'm just plain not interested . . .
I'm female biologically, but I value male traits a lot more than female - I look more masculine than feminine (though I'm skinny so I'd make a pretty wimpy man

And I think that is what it all boils down to 1) who are you interested in having relationships with (if anyone)? 2) which gender roles do you most feel comfortable in . . . then go with that - gender roles are much more fluid than most people think and we worry about them too much, I think - having wasted a lot of time on that sort of thing myself . . .

When it comes to gender roles, I'm quite a bit like animallover--pretty much uninterested in sex, and I feel mostly neuter. I am biologically female, and I value traits associated with male, female, and both genders--mostly the latter. (Intelligence, for example, and sensibility.)

I certainly do not feel feminine. For me, I am most comfortable with no mental gender identity at all. (Of course, as I mentioned above I'm another asexual, and one with no romantic desire at that, so maybe I'm not the best person to respond.)

Thanks for your answers.
I guess that since gender roles are a social creation anyway, it doesn't really matter which one you are. Which one/s you're attracted (if you are) to is probably more important.

Yeah, I might be asexual. I like this guy at school, but not in a sexual way; I just love talking to him. Platonic love, you might say.

Yeah - you sound like me - well, first, almost all my friends are fairly masculine gay men because they are just perfect in terms of a mix of masculine and feminine traits (I don't like feminine women or men because they are histronic) . . .

Anyway, I had a funny conversation one time with someone about Val Kilmer (who I find to be a very talented actor, and not an unattractive person) - but they said 'What would you do if you could meet him?' and I said 'Well, I'd love to talk to him about Christian Science, his Native American heritage, and philosophy - he seems very intelligent and wierd . . .' and they said 'What about sex - he's been with a lot of women, you know . . .' and I thought about it for a while and said 'Well, I guess if he really wanted to - but I'd rather just talk to him . . .'

I really find being asexual to be an advantage - I'd never have time to be an artist, work full time, and keep up with my lawn if I had to keep up with some other person who was all emmeshed in my life and living in my house and messing with my stuff - yuck!

I think that I might be an androgyne. My brother once told people that I have the special ability to change genders.
For example I like wearing guys clothes, except at gymnastic where I'm supposed to be a "girl".
I also hate make up and girl talk.
I love football and hate field hockey, but I love log hair, and hate dislike violence.
I have better examples, but I can't think of them now.
I'm biologically a female.
I also think that I might be asexual, because sex grosses me out, ad other than to have children I don't know why people do it.
I hope to reman a virgin my entire life.
But I'm not quiet sure if I'm asexual because, I love to dance dirty and look hot/sexy. I just don't want to have sex.
It's not like I'm immature or anything either, I'm 16.

I was born a female,but I have strong androgynous leanings.


-SpaceCase

Society determines gender roles.

Today in a conversation I said what equivalents to the following:
"I'm a guy. I was not supposed to have cried because society expects that guys be stoic."

My conscience knows that crying is human, but my mind knows that there is a certain state of being in which males are supposed to be.

I have been told that as a child I preferred to play with toy trains and Legos, rather than gender-specific toys such as action figures.

So the gender roles are learned rather than innate. To be honest I could care less whether something was masculine or not, but being in high school means having paranoia about how you are percieved by others.

As for being bisexual, etc... I have no clue.

Yeah, I realize this is an old thread, but I had pretty much written all of this before I bothered to look at the date the thread began.

Born a guy, feel like a guy...hey, I am a guy.

I’m male and enjoy being male, but I do think more female than male according to most people. My wife thinks more male than most females so we seem to match well. Even though I look very masculine due to height and body hair, I feel very androgynous. I prefer the company of females over males and I never get the male “locker room” talk thing. (That may be more of an Aspie thing.) I dress for comfort, but stay away from bright colors. I don’t care if something is masculine for feminine. If I like it, I’ll use are wear it. (For example I wear an anklet on my right ankle, something you don’t see many males do.) It’s more of a love anklet the means something for me and my wife than a fashion statement.

-Scott

Hm, I don't feel like I really have a gender. Maybe it goes back to the learned gender point that was brought up. When I was little I had toys of both genders and opportunities and such of both genders. I never had to learn a gender. Still, I feel like I lean a little more to the male side of mentality. I love tricking people to think I'm male. I think I've gotten quite good at it considering that I was carrying a purple bag one day and people still debated my gender. XD My voice will throw people, though. It's all high and childish mixed with a heavy southern accent. I'm paranoid that it keeps people from taking me seriously. I honestly wish I could just not have a gender.

I feel more male, as par usual. But you could mistake me for a female in the way I walk and move sometimes, and my long hair. At least, that's what I think. But the facial hair gives my gender away instantly.

I`m female, but to me, thats nothin... Just means, i`m gonna grow up and have kids... Literally. My gender doesn`t matter, to me much, as long as i`m straight in whatever gender I`m in. XD

But, I suppose, I have those days when I feel I should have been a male...

I'm not an Adolescent, but I have been where several of you are now.
My life was messed up because I had no one to talk with about it and no good information to learn from.
This is my only post here and I'm not sure if I am breaching protocol by doing this, but here's some links that might help someone.

Please be careful about the terms gender and sexuality. They are different and have nothing to do with each other.
In my experience, people who are not familiar with gender issues tend to automatically think of them as sexuality issues.
I've had to correct people I'm talking with about this... well-educated people at that!

Hope this helps.

Sorry, but I can't get this window to work right for me so I can't make live links...

http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/youth/ ... gender.htm
http://www.transgenderlaw.org/
http://www.ftmi.org./
http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/conway.html

I am biologically female.

I neither feel female nor male.

Kind of hard to explain. I don't really think of this often...
I just don't seem to identify with either gender. Gosh, maybe I am an alien