it's a little complicated, and some of this discussion may get a little rated r, but, here me out.
okay, so, i'm undiagnosed, but have been told that i probobly have aspergers.
well, one of the things that i think it causes is my feelings of a certain lack of humanity, so to speak.
this causes personal self disgust with my body, which i often refere too as a "rotting sack of meat" because honestly, that's what it feels like too me.
now these problems have only gotten really bad in the last year or so.
me and my girlfriend of three years have, historically, had a healthy love life. like so many young lovers, it was filled with alot of experimentation, especially since we were each other's firsts. but recently, even though i can have sex, and at the time, when i'm really not in my right mind, enjoy it, half the time afterwards, i genuinely feel like i've commited some kind of horrible crime, and that i am utterly disgusted with myself. sometimes the mere thought of the sexact is enough to make me nautious, but at other times i get butterflies. what the hell is going on?
10 Sep 2011, 5:36 am
