Does anyone else want to be with someone like themselves?

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I have AS, I'm gay, quite coy have reasonably low self esteem and have never been in a relationship (that doesn't sum up my life btw ). I often think to myself 'who on Earth would want to go out with someone like me?', but what I have come to realise lately is that that's the kind of person I would love to be with. I don't want to be with a Ferrari driving bungee instructor who moonlights as secret agent lawyer. I want to be with someone like myself, someone who is shy but caring and who has never been in a relationship before. I really like the idea of meeting someone who is like me, that way we can both go through the same relationship experiences for the first time together.

I need to stop thinking that I want to be with a 'normal' person who I meet in a bar or club, that's not me and is ultimately not what I want. The more I think about this the more positive I feel, there must be people that want to be with me because if I were someone else I'd want to be with someone like me too.

I was just wondering, has anyone else has ever felt this way?

Ive been thinkin that to find someone like me, I would need to go to the circles where I would want to go and I should simply start living the way I want, that way I could meet up with myself somewhere. I was also thinking of contacting myself somehow, but then I realized it's impossible, or at least highly unlikely. I dont want to contact me in my current state of course, because I'm struggling with the world as of now. But when I'm free and doing what I want, then I know I could manage, but if I would have to start dating "me" as I'm now, that simply wouldnt work out. a person needs to be individual and mature in thought. I've been in the crossroads for too long and simply want to move on. I knew figuring out the world wasn't an easy task, but maybe this is why I want to meet someone who also is trying to figure out the world and has gotten relatively far at it. One could imagine it as a tuning process. reprogramming the body to work in symbiosis with the mind and spirit and the reality within. This trip itself is one hell of an experience but one would find great pleasure sharing it with some independent observer who's confident enough to go where no "sane" person would.

edit: I thought of another way of expressing this. I'm in a state where I have to choose how will I begin to live. I would love to meet myself now so I could help myself decide but then again I know I need to choose for myself and that I will meet "myself" on the path once I've selected one.

Last edited by JayL on 06 Jan 2012, 7:37 am, edited 1 time in total.

I know what you mean. When i was younger i did the whole looking at opposites, opposites attract and all that. I kept that up until my late twenties but then i think i grew up because one day I realised that all i was only really ever looking for was someone that knew how i felt without me having to explain. Personally the more details i can match with my own the better. I'd love to find someone from my background and with my tastes who also has aspergers, that would be awesome.

I thought I found that with another aspie but found out that aspie lied to me for over a year about having an age difference issue and kept saying that until he went out on one date with a guy 100 pounds heavier and 3 years younger than me-and when I said that I guess age difference isn't a problem and told how I felt about him-he told me it was never an age difference problem it was my looks and personality-yet he can "give it up" to someone after one date and do not know that person-that was a kick in the guy-that on top of when I go somewhere and try to talk to people-they turn away from me and no one walks up to me to talk to me.

Of course I'd like to meet someone like me. They don't have to be exactly like me, because I think having some differences would keep the relationship interesting. But generally being capable of understanding me would certainly be good.

Yeah, that's good too. I think that i'd like someone quite like me but maybe someone who had gone off in a slightly different direction. My way of seeing things but with a few nice twists to keep it interesting. Just being born female with a similar personality to me would probably cover it, ive always wondered where my life would have gone if i'd been born female.

A relationship with someone just like me would be a disaster!

My partner and I have different strengths and weaknesses, and to a great extent we complement each other.

Thanks for the feedback guys, much appreciated. Just to clarify I wouldn't want to date someone exactly like me but someone with AS. I guess someone that can understand me but has their own life with their own interests that I could be a part of, and in turn I could understand them and they can enjoy being part of my life.

I agree completely, at least in terms of a romantic relationship. As far as friendships go, there are a couple of females I've met here with whom I'd like to be friends. They are so much like me I have to chuckle sometimes. But a relationship with them? No, and for the reasons you describe.

The guy I was attracted to the most was like my twin, both physically and personally. I got along with him better than anyone I ever have, before or since. He's unfortunately no longer a part of my life.

It woudl be nice but probably chaos. I can't imagine two people looking for th eir phone every morning.

I think things would go better if I could find someone a lot like me but I'm extremely unique & have very little luck except bad with relationships so I'm mainly looking for someone who will give me a chance who will try to make our relationship work