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EricS
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04 Jan 2011, 6:55 am

I'm not a gay, so I just wonder what makes a person a gay, or how does it feel to be interested in your own sex, male-male, female-female. What makes gays to prefer own sex than the opposite sex?



Tsela
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04 Jan 2011, 7:38 am

"I'm not straight, so I just wonder what makes a person straight, or how does it feel to be interested in the opposite sex, male-female, female-male. What makes straight people prefer the opposite sex rather than their own sex?"

Does it sound like a weird question? Yet it's no different from what you wrote. After all, if you can question homosexuality, surely you can question heterosexuality too!

The answer to your questions is that your questions make no sense:
- what makes a person gay: we don't know. It's probably a combination of genetic and hormonal factors. Social background, family dynamics and education have no influence on it, as far as the studies say. One thing is sure, sexual orientation is set at birth, or at the latest by age 5. It's not a decision, and especially not a conscious one. It's as innate as one's laterality (being right-handed or left-handed) or one's eye colour.
- how it feels to be interested in your own sex: normal, if you're gay. The question is nonsensical: how does it feel compared to what? being attracted to the opposite sex? How should I know how *that* feels if I'm gay? How can a gay person describe something that just *is*? I can't pretend to have any understanding of how straight attraction works, but on the basis that we are all human beings I shouldn't think it's extremely different from gay attraction.
- what makes gays to prefer their own sex: that question is nonsensical because it's based on a faulty assumption: that homosexuality is a preference, like an acquired taste. It's not. It's an innate orientation. Have you ever wondered why you're heterosexual? Probably not. And if you have you probably haven't been able to work out a reason. You've just always known you were attracted to people of the opposite sex, even when you couldn't use words to describe that attraction. The same is true for gay people: we've always known that we were attracted to people of the same sex, even before we could use words to describe this attraction. It's not something we can explain: it just is the way it is.

This is probably not the answer you were expecting, but it's the only correct one. Sexual orientation is a complex thing, and part of the "ground state" of a person. It's not something that can be reasoned or derived from other causes.



sillycat
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04 Jan 2011, 8:01 am

It feels just like being an honest productive adult member of society. except us Gays and Bisexuals have 3 legs, 3 boobs 3 arms and antannes. Sheesh. Stop squandering your Asperger intellect on such trivial questions as this. It's intellectual Masturbation.



sillycat
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04 Jan 2011, 8:02 am

It feels just like being an honest productive adult member of society. except us Gays and Bisexuals have 3 legs, 3 boobs 3 arms and antannes. Sheesh. Stop squandering your Asperger intellect on such trivial questions as this. It's intellectual Masturbation.



EricS
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04 Jan 2011, 9:30 am

"You've just always known you were attracted to people of the opposite sex, even when you couldn't use words to describe that attraction."
- Sorry but I don't mean to argue, but I'm just very curious.
Well, how to describe my attraction, why I'm attracted to the other sex, I can only describe in this simple and honors way - we have different sexual parts for attraction. If the other guy have what I have, what am I attracted to than? That's why I feel curious, I don't mean to offend you. Could there be something else other than sex that attracts you?



Brainiac5
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04 Jan 2011, 9:57 am

Well, I'm straight, but it seems to me that gay people just feel the way they do. If they were attracted to each other for things other than sex, they'd just be straight buddies that watch football and play Xbox together. Maybe this will help: are you attracted to every member of the opposite sex you encounter? Why not? They all have the same parts you mentioned. I know that isn't the same thing, but its as close as I can think of.
What I do sometimes wonder about regarding homosexuality (and I don't mean this to in any way to critique or offend anyone), is that sex between a male and female has a biological purpose, and homosexuality eliminates that purpose. So what exactly does cause homosexuality and why? Just a thought.
In any event, being an Aspie, I really can't say that any of us are any more "normal" than gay people are.



aluisha
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04 Jan 2011, 10:49 am

I'm straight, but have gay friends. Maybe someone gay can chime in on this. Your question - aside from sex what makes the attraction - seems a good one. Gay people I've known prefer personality qualities of same sex folk, so it is more than just about the sex. Some lelsbians I've spoken to just don't understand the male perspective on life. Maybe it's similar to the diff between auties and NT's. Both are ok, just diff and don't always understand how the other works.



Brainiac5
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04 Jan 2011, 12:40 pm

So you're saying that straight women do understand the male perspective on life??



Volodja
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04 Jan 2011, 1:35 pm

EricS wrote:
why I'm attracted to the other sex, I can only describe in this simple and honors way - we have different sexual parts for attraction.


But you don't rationalise this attraction, do you? As in, you don't think to yourself, "well I have a penis and she has a vagina, so I'm going to be sexually attracted to her." The attraction just exists. It's the same with gay people, only to the same sex.

People also have other things that either attract them to someone or don't, so it's not just sex. For example I might like blonde women. There's no "reason." I just would.



veiledexpressions
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04 Jan 2011, 3:41 pm

It doesn't feel like much of anything. I suppose I look at other females the same way a straight male looks at females.



Apple_in_my_Eye
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04 Jan 2011, 4:55 pm

Brainiac5 wrote:
What I do sometimes wonder about regarding homosexuality (and I don't mean this to in any way to critique or offend anyone), is that sex between a male and female has a biological purpose, and homosexuality eliminates that purpose. So what exactly does cause homosexuality and why? Just a thought.


One hole I see in that argument is that in a lifetime most people have on average about 2 kids, and in a lifetime most people (I think) will probably have sex at least a few hundred times. That seems to indicate that 99% of the time sex isn't about reproduction. If it were truly only about that I think people would feel compelled not to use birth control. The instinct seems more about f****** than actually reproducing most of the time (though a few times people will obviously make sure is also about reproduction). And since for some primates it serves a role in social stuff and bonding and so forth, it's not hard to see parallels with human behavior.

I remember someone telling a story that when her doctor asked what form of contraception she used said, "homosexuality."



MarkMartino
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04 Jan 2011, 5:54 pm

Gay/hetero is a neurological map imprinted early in life; how much it's partly or mainly genetic/biological hasn't been fully determined. It doesn't feel like anything. It's just natural because that's the way you're wired.


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Volodja
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04 Jan 2011, 6:17 pm

I reckon the most likely cause of homosexuality is the hormonal environment in the womb. I am no scientist though and couldn't properly argue for this lol. It would explain why transsexuals often find their sexuality changes once they start hormone therapy for example. Either way I am sure it is 1) biological and 2) determined very early on

Apple_in_my_Eye wrote:

I remember someone telling a story that when her doctor asked what form of contraception she used said, "homosexuality."


:lol:



MarkMartino
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04 Jan 2011, 6:31 pm

BTW, I am. I don't think I ever had a choice about being gay; I remember knowing I was different in that particular way somewhere around age 7.


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NcNbl
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04 Jan 2011, 10:31 pm

i understand your curiosity. there are millions of reasons as to why anybody has a certain preference. its not just about sexual attraction, it's also about whats appealing to you personally or to your interests or emotions, even profoundly. i don't believe the heart recognize gender in dating or loving anyone, so its now our varying preferences that sets certain populations for you to have such attraction to. i dunno, its hard to explain, i hope you understand.. :)


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kiwi
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10 Jan 2011, 2:26 am

NcNbl wrote:
i understand your curiosity. there are millions of reasons as to why anybody has a certain preference. its not just about sexual attraction, it's also about whats appealing to you personally or to your interests or emotions, even profoundly. i don't believe the heart recognize gender in dating or loving anyone, so its now our varying preferences that sets certain populations for you to have such attraction to. i dunno, its hard to explain, i hope you understand.. :)


Does a relationship need to be sexual?

http://gayaspie.com/showthread.php?tid=143

It's a interesting conversation. what is sex. what's your sex.

It's all very interesting.

For me a heated, emotional debate is up there, I have had a few memorable debates.

"I'm not a gay, so I just wonder what makes a person a gay, or how does it feel to be interested in your own sex, male-male, female-female. What makes gays to prefer own sex than the opposite sex?"

It's a big question.

How does it feel to be interested in your own sex? It feels like people are watching you when you hold hands down the main street. I guess they do that with female-male couples too, perhaps they don't stare at female-male couples.
but to be interested in your own sex. it feels good. sure its what your born with.
How does it feel knowing it's not normal? it feels different.

the second question, each person is different in what they find attractive. ;)
the triangular nature of the body and smile
is attractive, stronger than the curvaceous female form.


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