Getting Cold Feet

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As I am getting more done with my transition, I noticed something, well, different. It was after I went through a growth spurt last year when I was nineteen. I got taller, got thinner, and my face got more angular. Basically I went from looking like I was twelve to closer to twenty.

It is about girls my age. It used to be that they weren't interested but now they definitely seem to be. As in they're more...touchy. In class, this one girl beside me kept rubbing her leg against mine. And I would tell it was on purpose because there was plenty of space between us. And she sure went way out of her way to make contact. I didn't look up at her, because I liked the math that was on the board.

I've had a few people tell me they'd do me. A couple more touchy moments. One wanted to date but I chickened out on her at the last moment.

Any other transgendered people get this? And are people usually this, well, explicit? Possibly they are this explicit because subtle hints don't work with me (as an aspie I have a hard time reading social cues).

I mean, I am really excited people are interested in me for the first time, but I'm also uncertain. Relationships seem complicated. And, while I'd like to experiment with sex, I get really scared and turn away last minute. And I made a couple girls mad (and sad) because of this.

Any advice?

Women are usually not that explicit.
Men are frequently that explicit, but not always.
I am guessing that the women you reference in your post are attempting to express their interest in dating you in subtle ways, which you are not picking up on.
After they realize their subtle attempts are failing to elicit a response, women will do one of two things:
- decide you're not interested and move on -or-
- decrease the subtlety of their communication in order to reach you

It's hard for me to hazard a guess, but you're probably having just as many women who do the former as do the latter.

I am glad that people are finally interested in you.
I had many years in my life when no one was interested in me but wished they were interested in me.
It was a very good feeling that people were becoming interested in me.
I am sure many of the other people reading this forum are also happy for you.

Advice:
If you wind up having sex, use protection.

Do you have any NT friends who are in school with you who might be able to give you advice about relationships and dating?
I have a female NT with very good social skills who I can discuss my relationship questions with.
She can help me figure out if a man or woman is interested in me, and whether or not the relationship would be mutually beneficial or if that person might be trying to use me.
I have taken people I was dating out to dinner with her, and gotten her take on those people.
You might have a friend who could help you, that you're not confiding in.

If you have a therapist, it might be good to discuss these feelings with them.

Because we, as Aspergians, have trouble figuring out what people are thinking, we can wind up with romantic partners who want to use us for our bodies, our money, or other things we have to offer them.
I hope that you are careful, and try to understand whether people you are with are dealing with you in good faith.
I am not opposed to sex without romance, and if you choose to have sex without romance I will not judge you.
At the same time, sex without romance is only good and ethical if everyone involved is honest about what is going on being just sex. It can hurt if you fall in love with somebody but that person just wants to have sex.
That can happen with men and with women.
It is my experience that men will pretend to be romantically interested in you in order to have sex with you more than women will.
Some men will act in such as a fashion that you will start to fall in love with them so that you will want to have sex with them. Even though I would have been glad to have sex with these men without there being any love at all, they still did this.
I would hate for your feelings to be hurt like mine were in these situations, so please be careful.
Think very hard about why people are doing what they are doing.
If there are any particular behaviors these people are engaging in that you do not understand, it is okay to ask people you trust for advice as to what is really going on. It might be appropriate to describe the situation (without names, where no one knows your real name) to a forum like WP. Someone might be able to give advice.

Best of luck!