Question to transexual individuals

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I work as a nurse and I believe that my patients heal more effectively when they are better understood and respected as individuals. I've had patients who cross-dressed and I'm curious about their lives. Are people who cross-dress gay? or do they just have a desire to be the other gender? I ask this in all respect.

I don't consider myself trans*, I consider myself twospirted/genderqueer but I do cross dress frequently, I present as either binary gender or androgynous or a mix depending on the day. My understanding is that sexual orientation is different from gender identification and is different from cross dressing. I've met trans* people of every orientation, so no it doesn't mean that someone is gay, although they can be just as a cis-gendered person might be. Some people cross dress without identifying as the gender that they are presenting, some people are presenting the gender they identify as (I'm not sure if cross dressing is an appropriate term as it is an authentic expression of their gender identity). Because I consider myself twospirited my gender presentation tends to follow what role I am inclined to fill in the day and how comfortable I am in my body on a given day. Some days I am really uncomfortable presenting as female, other days I might be ok with it, or it might be needed for social reasons (for instance, wearing a skirt to a women's ceremony). If you feel that it is important for interacting with your patients it is best to ask the individual as long as you do so respectfully and understand that no one owes you an education or details of their personal life. Personally I'm happy to share as long as I'm not treated as a sideshow or asked about my sex life or anatomy, and of course any thing I share is meant as a representation of my own experience. I am no more representative of all genderqueer people than I am of all First Nations people.

People crossdress for a variety of reasons. One reason somebody might crossdress is if they identify with a gender that differs from their anatomy. Some guys wear dresses but identify as men, and do so because those are the clothes they feel comfortable in. They wear dresses for many of the same reasons women wear dresses: to look good. Then, there are events where people may crossdress for fun or to put on a show, as a performance. It does not necessarily have much of anything to do with sexual orientation.

Indeed. Generally (I don't want to be restrictive and say always) people who think of what they're doing as "cross-dressing" identify as the gender they were assigned but enjoy wearing clothes of the "opposite" gender sometimes for any of a variety of reasons. Frequently with cross dressers there will be certain times and places where they will cross dress and other times they will present "normally" for their gender.

Cross dressers are not necessarily gay, as sexual preference doesn't really play into the desire to wear another gender's clothing (for a humorous perspective on this, see Tim Burton's movie Ed Wood or the stand-up comedy of Eddie Izzard, who talks a lot about what it's like being a heterosexual male cross dresser).

As a transgender person I don't think of the clothes I wear as "crossdressing" -- I'm simply wearing clothes which feel comfortable and appropriate for my gender, which doesn't happen to be the one I was assigned at birth. Gender identity doesn't necessarily have anything to do with sexual preference either. I was assigned male at birth, identify as female, and am primarily but not exclusively attracted to other women. Them's the breaks.