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muslimmetalhead
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27 Jun 2012, 7:51 pm

I have a few q's for my fellow autistics who are LGBT persons.

I will get back to this later as I'm limited on time.

First, do you wonder if your social oddities are due more to your LGBT-ness or your autism?
Remember, more q's later.


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techn0teen
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27 Jun 2012, 8:17 pm

I would say being transgender was the vast majority of it when I was older. I found out a lot of my shyness and social awkwardness came from feeling like I was in the wrong body. Once I started to transition, my life and social abilities drastically improved.

With my autism, I have extreme extrasensory issues with sound. So that mattered more when I was little and unable to control what environment I was put in. Now, I can choose to stay at home when I have a bad day. When I was little, I was forced into a noisy bathroom with no way to cope.



yellowtamarin
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27 Jun 2012, 9:53 pm

muslimmetalhead wrote:
First, do you wonder if your social oddities are due more to your LGBT-ness or your autism?

Not really, I attribute it to the autism. I suspect that higher than average androgen levels have had a big influence in making me both bi and autistic, but that the social skill stuff sits with the autism, not the bisexuality.



redrobin62
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27 Jun 2012, 10:09 pm

My social oddities, that is, total avoidance of social activities, is absolutely autism related. I've NEVER been to one gay pride parade. Sometimes they come and go and I don't know about it till I see it in the news the next day. I also avoid gay bars like the plague. I'll get ignored there anyway, so why bother?



dyingofpoetry
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27 Jun 2012, 11:51 pm

I find that feelings of oddness are pretty much autism, because in my experience, most gay men seem like uberNTs. They may fell alienated while growing up, but once they accept themselves, they tend to become very social and connected.

I was not diagnosed until I was an adult and so I thought previous to that that my isolation was due to being gay... However, all my gay friends (even if they were in the closet). had tons of friends, both gay and straight. When I finally found out I had AS, I said "Ah THAT was the problem!"


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muslimmetalhead
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28 Jun 2012, 6:16 pm

muslimmetalhead wrote:
I have a few q's for my fellow autistics who are LGBT persons.

I will get back to this later as I'm limited on time.

First, do you wonder if your social oddities are due more to your LGBT-ness or your autism?
Remember, more q's later.



Secondly, did you go through puberty on time (i.e.5th-6th grade women, 7th-8th grade men)?

thirdly, if you are a Christian/Muslim/Jewish apostate, did you deconvert after or before realizing you were LGBT?


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Descartes
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29 Jun 2012, 3:33 am

My social quirks are definitely products of my autism. That's why I feel like such an outsider even among other LGBT people, but it's okay, though, because in my experience, LGBT people are quite friendly and hospitable.

muslimmetalhead wrote:
thirdly, if you are a Christian/Muslim/Jewish apostate, did you deconvert after or before realizing you were LGBT?


Even though I'm not religious now, I was a Christian when I came to terms with my same-sex attractions. I guess it's because I wasn't exposed to much homophobia before I became more observant of the outside world, but at the time I didn't have problems reconciling my faith and my sexuality.


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VMSmith
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30 Jun 2012, 9:50 am

social oddities are definitely the autism. puberty came on time. deconverted from christianity years after realising i was queer and not because of it. those seem like random unrelated questions.



ibtiamat
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31 Jul 2012, 3:33 am

It is not easy being a teen...nor is it easy being an Aspie, and it is even more hard to live with being homosexual. Seeing as prejudice and bullying plays a huge role in a gay teen Aspie.

So it can be hard to tell...

But I would have to go with Autism. It is harder than anything out of the three I suppose. Sense it can come with many other problems as well. OCD, Anxiety, and Depression for me and it only gets worse being gay. Not to mention Autism as well as LGBTQ can push people away and strain relationships. =/


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07 Aug 2012, 8:24 pm

My social oddities are pretty evenly split between the autism, being advanced in math and vocabulary, and being gender non-conforming (hated trying on clothes, make-up, celebrity gossip, talk shows). I grew up without any religion, though my parents both believed/believe in Jesus and God, but not part of a church. So I grew up alternately agnostic/pantheist/deist. Shortly after I came out as a lesbian, I joined a Christian church (that is accepting of LGBT), but drifted away a year later, then I became atheist (not of the "God definitely doesn't exist; my parents are so stupid" variety, but the "I don't see a reason to think God exists, so I will not believe unless/until I see compelling evidence" variety.



salem44dream
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07 Aug 2012, 8:35 pm

ibtiamat wrote:
Not to mention Autism as well as LGBTQ can push people away and strain relationships. =/


LGBT can push people away, but it depends, too, on how liberal the area you live in is. I'm in Massachusetts, which was the first state to allow gay marriage, so it's almost a non-issue here (or so it seems).

On the other hand, my AS pushes away potential gay friends and potential relationships ALL THE TIME. Some gay men are overly critical, and I'm not sure why they are. But I end up being the one criticized. I just can't fit in with the expectations that other gay men think I should have -- it's really hard for me to dress and "look" right.

Not to mention that I've only had two short relationships and the clock is ticking rapidly ... I'm 58 now and still haven't figured out what I'm doing wrong.



ibtiamat
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13 Aug 2012, 4:31 am

Descartes wrote:
My social quirks are definitely products of my autism. That's why I feel like such an outsider even among other LGBT people, but it's okay, though, because in my experience, LGBT people are quite friendly and hospitable.

muslimmetalhead wrote:
thirdly, if you are a Christian/Muslim/Jewish apostate, did you deconvert after or before realizing you were LGBT?


Even though I'm not religious now, I was a Christian when I came to terms with my same-sex attractions. I guess it's because I wasn't exposed to much homophobia before I became more observant of the outside world, but at the time I didn't have problems reconciling my faith and my sexuality.



Not everyone is the same...a saying that goes for EVERYONE Christian or no.


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ibtiamat
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13 Aug 2012, 4:36 am

salem44dream wrote:
ibtiamat wrote:
Not to mention Autism as well as LGBTQ can push people away and strain relationships. =/


LGBT can push people away, but it depends, too, on how liberal the area you live in is. I'm in Massachusetts, which was the first state to allow gay marriage, so it's almost a non-issue here (or so it seems).

On the other hand, my AS pushes away potential gay friends and potential relationships ALL THE TIME. Some gay men are overly critical, and I'm not sure why they are. But I end up being the one criticized. I just can't fit in with the expectations that other gay men think I should have -- it's really hard for me to dress and "look" right.

Not to mention that I've only had two short relationships and the clock is ticking rapidly ... I'm 58 now and still haven't figured out what I'm doing wrong.



You are looking in all the wrong places it seems. Most humans, gay or not, tend to criticize people that are different from what they normally see in their lives.

I live in Southern Belt Oklahoma but now I am living in Kansas for about 3 months until college starts in Okie.

I would have thought that Massachusetts would be nice for homosexuals to live their lives no matter if they are bipolar, Autistic, or whatever. But I heard that there are monsters no matter where you go. The grass is always the same shade of green no matter what side go over.


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- Dr. Sheldon Cooper

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