Asexuals

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Hi, I am neither sexually attracted to men nor women.

It was a big revelation that "none" is called asexual.

But I am different on so many aspects, it's hard to find acceptance even among different people, because even them don't accept he other different stuff, even knowing how painful it is to be judged and rejected for it... not even given a chance...

So maybe I can make friends with someone who's both?

So far this site seem to be patient with me... Thanks...?

I used to think I was asexual. Turns out I'm demisexual (no first-sight attraction, only post-bonding), which is a whole other bag of confusing. But since I went a long time not feeling attraction to anyone, I can relate.

Isn't that just normal? To want to have sex to someone you actually like?
I find hyper sexuality and pressure from porn so sad... I'm sure that no one actually want that and is too scared to admit they want a hug and get mocked or rejected.

*hugs*

I could have been sexual if someone respected me... if someone won my trust... instead to drag me by the hairs and scram after 1h of meeting them that I could at least suck them...

I don't want to be a wife used as a toilet without having my needs attended to... I wanted to explore the nerves of the whole body and find the highest possible nirvana, but people just focus on the crotch and just want to get the load off as fast as possible like an urge to pee...

It turns me off to no end...

But if I had met someone like you... I wouldn't be so damaged...

I wish you happiness ^_^

I am biromantic asexual and autie. I know all about being the oddest of the odd.

I am barely attracted to both sexes, I fall in love once on a blue moon and hate sex...refuse to have sex of any kind. I dont really care that much what people look like...I am more attracted to big brains and gentle personalities.

I am sorry you had so many bad experiences with sexuals, oral sex is just gross, and it would take a very patient person to convince me to go much further than cuddles, holding hands etc.

I dont know what came first being asexual, or being sexually abused.

Jojo

I'm not just talking about "wanting to have sex". I'm talking about attraction. Being able to look at a person and have the instinct to see them as attractive. I look at a person I haven't spoken to, and where most people would be able to say if the person is hot or not, I just see a person I know nothing about, as I'd imagine you do as well, if indeed you are asexual.
But I find my girlfriend very attractive, because she opened up to me, and subsequently dared to tell me she was attracted to me, which eventually led to me developing secondary attraction to her, much to my surprise. Hence me apparently not being asexual, but demisexual.


To be honest, that sounds more like you've had the bad luck of meeting douchebags (borderline rapists, by the sound of it). I don't think most sexuals would be any less turned off by that than you are, and I assure you not all heterosexual guys are like that. Where are you meeting these jerks?


...again, who are these people treating you like this? Even if you weren't asexual, I'd recommend staying as far away from those people as possible.


That's very kind of you to say, but it's sounding increasingly like what you're describing is the result of bad experiences and not necessarily natural preference, though it's certainly possible it could be both.


I wish you happiness as well. Happiness is good. And I wish you the best of luck with this whole figuring yourself out thing. Just take it from me, don't settle for foregone conclusions (been there myself, and in my case it turned out I was wrong). I'm not saying you can't be asexual, but it sounds like it could possibly have less to do with you than with the people you've had the misfortune of coming in contact with, so that's maybe something to keep under consideration. Maybe it's not you, maybe it's them. Either way, happiness is definitely something to strive for.

I am similar to you in not having desire for sex, although I do find people and personalities attractive. This isn't as a result of abuse or past relationships, I'm just not wired that way. There are many forms of asexuality; it is a continuum.

Hello
I too am an asexual.
I'm also a member of asexuality.org (AVEN)
Should check it out, it's a great little community

Last edited by JesseCat on 12 Aug 2012, 8:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'm Ace, also a member of AVEN.

Anoter Aspie AVEN member here. In fact, I suspect there is a correlation between Asperger's and being asexual. There was a poll on this over at the AVEN forum.

As for my own sexual oreintation, I'm not sure whether I'm asexual or demisexual. I've been in a relationship with my husband for 4 1/2 years and still feel no sexual attraction towards him, but I do like certain sensual things. I'm still new to understanding there's actially sensual and sexual acitivities. To make matters more complex, I have a history of trauma that includes minor sexual trauma, and I am scared to death of sex. This makes me wonder whether I would be sexual if only I worked through my trauma.

I am aspiepoet on Aven

Jojo

As far as the ASD relationship to asexuality, I think it's just that variant sexuality is more common in ASD in general. Either that or we are less inclined to fake being hetero for social gain. XD

You are welcome. I think it is halfly because we know what it is like to be judged and rejected and the other half we are just friendly by nature and understanding or at least try to understand.

I used to consider myself asexual for a while when I was in the 10th grade. And for a strange reason too: I thought I was asexual because I couldn't be gay, I heard so many times that it is wrong and a "sin" to live people of your own gender. So in that case I came to the conclusion that homosexuality does not exist since it SHOULDN'T exist. And I should stop having feeling for women if I wanna get into Heaven and not be damned to Hell. And since I did not attracted to men sexually I found out I must be asexual.

Wow, I am SO glad I am over that Bitter Phase.

I think I'm "homoasexual" but I really don't know...

Asexual by definition has more to do with a lack of sexual attraction/sexual desires than a lack of attraction itself. You can be attracted to a person on a romantic level, but not a sexual level and still be asexual. So with you, I would say that you sound like you are homoromantic asexual.
A person who does not feel romantic attraction/desires, nor sexual attraction/desires is aromantic asexual like the OP seems to be.

Jojo

I'm asexual as well. I've always felt repulsed by the idea of sexual relations with someone else. I don't even masturbate, which a lot of asexuals do (from what I've read).

I'm demisexual/possibly asexual and also a member of AVEN (same username). In fact it was a thread on AVEN that reminded me about WrongPlanet.