Is anyone ever afraid for their safety?

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I don't walk around expecting gay bashers to jump out from behind every corner, nor do I think people are particularly aware of my personal life, but I would have to be deluded to think I'm not at an increased risk for violence when I'm at this towns only gay bar or I'm out with my girlfriend.

There is a real problem with violence toward those of us in the LGBT community, I'm not making this thread to debate that point.

What I want to do is to get other people to share their perspectives.

Have you ever felt afraid for your safety?
Do you ever hide who you are to protect yourself from potential violence or harassment?
Please feel free to expand on this topic..

Every minute of every day of my life, yes.

Even though I'm not gay, I do know people would most likely think I am, so I am afraid of that too.

Yes and no. It's not really a homophobic/gay hating place that I live in, but I've still had trouble coming out of gay bars and stuff, not to mention had "dyke" shouted at me a few times in the past.

Same here, bro. Gender roles are directly related to social norms and maturity so it's something Aspies naturally have issues with.
I sure know I do.

Very much a question of time and place.

99% of the time, I have no fear for my safety. But even in this city, which is well known for its livability and safety, there are still episodes of anti-gay violence.

My darling boyfriend lives in a not-very-nice area (seriously ^^) of a city, and walking around there holding hands makes me very, very nervous... and yet here, where I live, which is in principle much nicer, there's just no way I'd hold hands with him in the town centre, it'd be suicide. O mores!

I have a difficult time talking about this subject because it breaks my heart. I've dated both women and men and encountered a great deal of harassing/threatening behavior from complete strangers when I'm out with female partners.

At a local bar that my age group seems to frequent(mid to late 20s) a man was thrown out and the MANAGER of the bar announced "We don't want fa***ts here" and I was horrified at the amount of people gossiping about the incident on facebook(people I grew up with) who condoned the behavior of the staff and manager and condemned people who are openly gay and said things like "they're just asking for it" which... honestly I'm not very open about my sexuality. I avoid the topic entirely in meatspace if at all possible.

I loathe myself for being afraid to admit to who I am, yet I wish I could take on the burden for the rest of our worldwide "family" because it's so unjust that people are subject to abuse for who they are attracted to and who they love. I feel completely helpless when I think of what so many are going through, it kills me that I don't know what on earth I can do to protect even one person from this crap.

I know I've got my head in the clouds and it's silly for me to think I should or could be able to protect others but I can't handle the reality of gay bashing very well.

sydney's fairly ok to be in as a queer if its the city or inner city but you wouldnt want to be out in the suburbs and be out and you would not ever ever want to be seen in a rural or country area closer than 30cms to your own sex ever, whether you are male or female- you will be beaten up or harrassed. the suburbs are unsafe for various reasons. you because you would be mocked, called things or discriminated against though there is more leeway for cis-gendered women. you could also possibly be seen by somebody you know and have them spread the word to everybody including family or employer. i feel most unsafe around my family and people who know them in areas they live because of that. my family can become um rather uh loud and feel they can um express disatisfaction without using just words. i feel safer in queer areas but really those are the areas that attract the sort that want to beat you up. still safer than the suburbs though because you have backup at least.

I'm a transman, and I do fear for my safety at all times. I attend and go to college in a very impoverished area. The people around here tend to have a shorter fuse due to the stress and low quality of life.

The only thing I have going for me is that I basically pass as male, and I date women. In that aspect, I experience no harassment or even a passing glance.

I also look young for my age so, if I was ever attacked by someone my own age or older, people would step in as it would basically be an adult hurting a "kid". And, being attacked by someone younger than me, is not as much a concern. They are stupid fighters, and I have some martial arts training.

I'm more worried about the husky, heavy, middle aged rednecks.

Bathrooms, however, I am terrified of, and I will only go in single-stall restrooms or those for handicapped people. Last night, I had a nightmare that I went into a men's restroom. While in the stall, after doing my business, I opened the stall and four men were waiting and attacked me. In real life, I know that has a slim chance of happening.

All one can do is be prepared and take safety precautions. I never walk alone at night, and I have the police on speed dial.

I'm a new member and I just thought I'd share my experiences.

I'm gay man who graduated college just over a year ago. I grew up in one of the most liberal areas in the country so I never felt unsafe growing up. The first times I truly felt scared were when I started going to college in a rural area just an hour from where I grew up. I wasn't scared at first, even after a group of guys and I got intimidated out of a bar after two of us started doing a little PDA. Things started getting worse. A friend and I got scared out of a bar again, then the reports of attacks against students came, then I started feeling the hate myself. I had names yelled at me and had a particularly bad experience with harassment after I wore a gay pride shirt to class.

It all led up to me being very scared. Even though I didn't admit it, I hated walking alone at night and would cross the street if I saw a group of male students coming. I'm living in a safe area again now, but I have more awareness that something could happen out of the blue.

So yes, I'm still a little scared. Do I want to be? No. Bad stuff isn't likely to happen a lot, especially around here. But when it does, I want to go into survival mode, not fear mode. I think that's easier to say when you're safe at home though.

I'm not afraid for my own safety, mainly because I am not openly bisexual. If I were, I would have to deal with the religiously conservative people in my town. Then again, they already hate me for being an open atheist, and supporter of gay rights, and I've yet to see any violence.

I have been physically hit and called "fa***t" before. It was pretty surreal, because it came out of nowhere in a pretty liberal-minded city.

I moved on. That's all you can do.

I'm afraid for my safety, even around my family.

Most people think I am a girl from a distance and I'm very small so I've never had anyone come up to me and harass me out of nowhere. The fear comes when I introduce myself to someone because people have a hard time figuring out what gender I am once they see me up close and hear me speak (I am third gender btw). I avoid public restrooms because there is always someone who thinks I am either a "girl going into the mens' room" or a "boy going into the girls' room". I have had an incident where my ex BF and I were harassed by another gay man. He said a lot of derogatory comments about how feminine I am and how my BF should just "turn straight if he likes girls."

I'm constantly worried about what people at work say about me and whether they will try to ruin my life in some way. Eventually, I would like to work in a place where it doesn't matter so much. Right now I work in a highly political and conservative office environment that is heavy on the gossip. I talk very little about myself.

I'm also afraid when I start new romantic relationships (which isn't often) for the same reason as the restroom issue. People have a need to label me and there are always people who believe I am trying to "deceive" them for some reason. Most people cannot wrap their heads around third gender. I make sure to be VERY up front about my gender and my body, if the relationship is heading in that direction.

Having said all that, I do have a real fear of walking at night or going to new places alone. I'm afraid of being raped/beaten/etc by someone who has a fetish for people like me.

All this sounds bad, but I really just live my life and try not to listen to anyone. I like who I am and never have lied about it.

G.

Currently stuck in the deep south... so even though I in no way look "queer" im a six foot tall woman and that is apparently wrong here.. so yeah always afraid of some lower beast thing getting scared an hitty..