What would you do if the opposite orientation hit on you?

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Such as a guy(straight or gay) hitting on lesbian or lesbian hitting on straight woman.
And also, my earlier thread "instinct to be turned off blah blah" did kind of sound offensive, but my point was this: Does the thought of having straight sex(if you're gay) repel you or gay sex(if you're straight)?

I don't mean people doing it. I mean *YOU* personally.
Because you're not "oriented" to it.

Also I couldn't resist :http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWNaR-rxAic

This has happened to me a few times, one of those times being last night. I just gently tell them I'm not into guys (I'm a lesbian). As for sex with the opposite gender, I came out late in life, and have been married and divorced twice (neither lasted even a year). I have always hated having sex with men, but, having been in the closet, I have had a good deal of it. It was always clear to the other person that I didn't like sex with them, and both of my ex-husbands thought of me as frigid. I think at some level they knew I was a lesbian (they both knew I was into women, so, considering how much I hated sex with them, it probably wasn't too hard to figure out), and while I don't in any way think that excuses them from being abusive (the first one extremely, violently abusive, even to the point of holding a shotgun to my head), I think that probably contributed to why they were as abusive as they were (the second one was verbally/psychologically abusive, and physically intimidating, but stopped just short of hitting me).

When I saw this thread I misread it as 'What would you do if someone of the opposite orientation hit you?' and I was thinking 'Just the same as if a straight person hit me, hit them back!'.

I've been hit on by women a few times, mostly because when I used to go clubbing I used to go to gay clubs with gay friends. I would just say 'Oh, I have a boyfriend' which tells them I'm straight. It's also happened to my boyfriend and he just said 'No thanks' and the other guy just said 'OK' and wandered off. It's just the same as being hit by the opposite gender really.

Of course, just because someone is gay doesn't mean they will automatically hit on you (which some straight people seem to think!) - I have lesbian friends who aren't interested in me and straight male friends who are the same. So worrying about being hit on is no reason not to be friends with gay people.

The thought of having sex with someone of the same gender doesn't repel me at all. I've never tried it, but I kissed another woman once and it was nice but somehow it just didn't feel 'right' for me. The idea of other people having sex (whether gay, straight or whatever) doesn't repel me either which is lucky because the apartment building where I live has really, really thin walls!

I think some people on WP are gay but not know it yet. (Or know it but just haven't accepted it). Why do I say that? Because some people ask the same question all the time (with slight variations) so it always seems to be first and foremost in their minds. Just saying.

I tell them I'm lesbian, but most guys see that as a challenge and think they can try and succeed and turn you straight ¬¬

There's 1 particular male acquaintance who hasn't given up asking me for sex, and we've known each other like 2 years and he's still asking. It's really annoying. He's an acquaintance for that very reason.

I'll always take a compliment, no matter who it's from, but I'm straight, married, and faithful; I'd have to respectfully decline.

I've only really had two people flirt with me to my knowledge. My current partner, a bisexual transgendered male, and a person who I attempted to have a relationship with, a cisgendered lesbian.

I didn't really realise either were doing it. So... I didn't really have an opinion.

I am transgendered (ftm) which moderately confuses the concepts of 'gay' and 'straight' sex. 'Gay sex' in which the other participant, regardless of biological sex, acts* as and treats me as male is very satisfying. 'Gay' sex in which the person, regardless of biological sex, acts as and treats me as female is off putting and has left me in tears on multiple occasions. Very much the same scenario for 'straight' sex. As long as I am being viewed as, referred to, and treated* as male, it sounds good to me.

*By this I do not mean that I am the 'dominant' personality in the encounter, merely that they make no reference to my female anatomy, do not attempt to engage with my chest area, etc. etc.

Well, I'm bisexual, so I wouldn't turn anyone down automatically because of their plumbing. But I'm not into people who are extremely feminine in their gender presentation, so if I noticed ... which is unlikely, unless they are blantant. I need an NT person to act as "seeing eye dog" to tell me when someone's flirting.

But if I think someone who isn't my 'type' is flirting, I try to be straight-forward about it so there's no mixed signals. Something like, "I'm enjoying talking to you, but in case you were wondering, I'm not interested in hooking up."

Yes, it's socially awkward, but given how much trouble I often have with social cues around dating and sex, I'd rather be too blunt up front than have to deal with a bunch of hurt feelings later over a misunderstanding. And someone who can't deal with that statement probably won't be able to deal with me for more thana few minutes, anyway.

I kind of WISH, in those situations, that I could honestly say I wasn't into guys, or wasn't a lesbian, or something that would make it easier for the person not to feel rejected.

I just went to that link

And this is crazy

But now it's stuck in my head

So pity me maybe


To answer your question though, the thought of hetero sex is pretty gross to me. That's pretty much what a sexuality orientation other than bisexuality or pansexuality is about. And by the way, thanks for not being offensive this time. It's okay to ask questions if you're polite about it. I have a feeling this is one of your "narrow Asperger insterests" right? We tend to be curious about things some people just don't understand.

It doesn't repel me--but it certainly doesn't interest me, either.

When a woman has hit on me in the past, I have always been honest. I have told them that I am gay, and steered the conversation back to subjects of mutual interest.

[quote=]

I am transgendered (ftm) which moderately confuses the concepts of 'gay' and 'straight' sex. 'Gay sex' in which the other participant, regardless of biological sex, acts* as and treats me as male is very satisfying. 'Gay' sex in which the person, regardless of biological sex, acts as and treats me as female is off putting and has left me in tears on multiple occasions. Very much the same scenario for 'straight' sex. As long as I am being viewed as, referred to, and treated* as male, it sounds good to me.

*By this I do not mean that I am the 'dominant' personality in the encounter, merely that they make no reference to my female anatomy, do not attempt to engage with my chest area, etc. etc.[/quote]

Pretty much this. Straight males that hit on me as a female I turn down with a very firm "I'm queer as hell, you don't want in on this." If they persist then I tell them they'd better be ready to bottom. After a quick moment of confusion, they usually grasp what I'm getting at and run very fast in the other direction.

I can never tell when women are "hitting on me" so it is extremely awkward when I find out that they were. I tell them I have no interest in vaginas usually.

^^This.

To be honest I can never tell when anyone is hitting on me, unless they're being vocal about it. If it's a woman I promptly tell them I am gay, as I have no interest in straight sex.

It has happened before. I get enjoyment out of reciprocating their feelings even if I don't nescisarly feel completely attracted to them. I've been hit on by both genders, for a dude I gave him a nice tight hug and another was this girl I met on a long bus ride back home. We cuddled and I enjoyed the closeness. Really, I invite any kind of closeness, if there's anything that does turn me on its that. Its why I feel so alienated from the actual act of sex and how our society treats relationships, or the "norm".

Hmmm I have to remember that one. I am biromantic asexual...and telling some guy that is like an invitation to "cure" me. I come up with all kinds of stuff. My most used one is, " I will break your heart, you dont want me." Which is true, I do break hearts, not meaning to but as soon as the relationship gets sexual, I get gone, not because I used the person, but because the relationship in my view is irrepairable after sex. It totally changes the dynamics in the relationship in a way that cant be undone.
Maybe, I will just tell them "I am queer as hell and be ready to bottom". I even told men that I am married, which I have never been married, but neverless that doesnt seem to stop them either.

Women seem to have more respect when I tell them that I am asexual.
I am female, and I like to flirt with total gay guys because they are "safe". I let them know that I am not serious. I also have a friend who is asexual who has crushes on priests, buddhist monks, and guys that are totally outta her league because they are "safe". It is fairly common among some asexuals to crush on those who would have the least bit of sexual interest in us.

Jojo

It confuses a lot of people because nobody knows my sexual orintation which pleases me greatly. I treat everyone the same wheither male or female when I turn them down. I just say that I don't have an attraction to them. Men assume I am lesbian and women assume that I am straight. It is quite funny. I don't go advertising my sexual orientation and only one person in my life knows it. I don't even think my boyfriend knows.