To all bi people

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Does being in love with a woman feel different than being in love with a man?

Because there always was some kind of difference for me, and I wonder if that's a common thing.

I'm bi & female. When I'm in love with a woman, it's more like a "bubbly", very "girlish" love. But also it feels more intense, and a great part of it is admiration and respect. That doesn't mean I don't respect men, but when I'm with a woman it's almost like I worship her.

When I fall for a guy, it tends to be a little more sexually motivated, but at the same time "weaker". Like I'm not into it that much. And I usually doesn't feel as emotionally close as with a woman. Generally I feel like we're farther apart and I don't really know him that much. With a woman there's a natural closeness, probably just because of the same gender thing.

Now I realized this makes me sound like I'm a super lesbian, but it's actually around 50/50.

That's perfectly normal. People love different things for different reasons. I've certainly felt that way before, but in my case it likely had more to do with personality types than birth sex or gender.

I am also bi and female. I feel more connected with other women emotionally and attracted to them sexually. With men it's like I can appreciate them for being handsome and I can also be friends with them, but I always feel more emotionally disconnected from them than with women.

Yes, I also get a very different feeling the way I find another male attractive is different to what feeling I have finding females. I don't have much to go by at all as describing it doesn't fell romantic or sexual. I am male with little clue of describing the feelings which are almost completely absent.

That's not as much the case for me.

For me, it's more that I'm 75% into males and 25% into females.

When I'm with a female, the sexual aspect is, for the most part, equally as present as it would be if I were with a male. Which is to say, not very present at all. If anything, I'd say the sexual component is more present when I'm with a male.

That, and I describe myself using the "pan" label.

what about a really fem-looking guy or a really boyish looking girl? Or a fem-acting guy, or a boyish-acting girl? Which do you like, and which are you attracted to? I mean... if a guy acted the way a girl that you find magnetic did, would you find him attractive? Just curious.

I'm usually only attracted to feminine girls and masculine guys.

I have only felt an emotional connection to one guy, and he'd been my best friend for a decade. Other than that the bond is usually only sexual with males. With females the bond is deeper than that.

I'm basically the opposite to you.
I connect better with men than I do with women.

Having said that, there has never been a woman I really liked enough as a person to know the real answer, so in reality it might be equal strength of feeling.
But right now, one is definitely more "present" than the other - but they both feel very different from one another regardless of that aspect.

Last edited by Kjas on 09 Nov 2012, 8:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I have a follow-up question: what are bi people's thoughts on shemales? They seem ideal for them.

uh.. you can like Nutella and mustard, but would you put it on a sandwich together?

Not to be rude to anyone, just a metaphor.

Please don't say "shemale", it's incredibly offensive and derogatory to transpeople.

It really depends, some bisexual folks are attracted to transpeople so long as they still fit in the gender binary, others are not.

Most people who identify as trans want to be thought of as their gender, and not fetishized as being "the best of both worlds" or something equally degrading. There are bigender people who don't have issues being viewed as such.

I only heard of people with a penis and breasts being referred to as shemales; I did not know it was considered derogatory. My Apologies.

I imagine it is a very fetishized thing among some bisexuals...although many seem to prefer one gender over the other.

Not necessarily.

For some who are bi, the gender or sex simply does not matter.

For others, they are attracted to very masculine, very feminine or other individuals. For some, they will prefer that gender and sex align if this is the case. But for others it does not matter.

And for some it is about the sex of the person in question more than their gender identity.

For this reason, transgender individuals are not always necessarily ideal - it entirely depends on the reason that you are bi or pan and how it works for you.

Can't get enough of transgenders personally; even if I've never been with one on either side . I would get some serious sexual frustration though if for instance, a boy to girl tran, didn't let me touch her penis because it made her feel less feminine... though I'm sure we'll find a way around that.

I'd also think it odd if the transgender in question didn't live up to their chosen genders... um, dynamics and stereotypes and ectera, I guess?

as a mostly straight male. I have never had any romantic feeling towards a male. Im very sexualy and romantic attractive to women.'
I don't find very many men attractive but when I do they are usually femmy looking gay men.
now about ''shemale'' Yes some of them are very attractive but I don't like women body with a male dick it's just not for me.