Page 1 of 1 [ 8 posts ] 

NateRiver
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 8 Feb 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 238

16 Dec 2012, 10:25 am

Basically, she's has given strong hints of attraction e.g. stroking my hair, teasing me, brushing up against me, and caring about me e.t.c. However, people say she is just messing with me. But what I don't understand is that she is not sure of my sexuality and treats me as if I'm straight e.g. talking about hot boys with me,saying which guy I should go out with .

Once, she stroked my hair and held my face saying:-" You're so pretty!!" and I smiled to that which arose suspicion( my guy friends made fun of me about me smiling back).

She seems straight herself,she might be, I'm not quite sure. She talks alot about hot guys and her relations with other guys;however it's quite baffling with some stuff she has done to me.



Rorberyllium
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Sep 2012
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 546
Location: Maryland, United States

16 Dec 2012, 10:40 am

How would I know what her AIM is? Kids don't even use AIM anymore, it's all about Skype now. I feel so damn old.



NateRiver
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 8 Feb 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 238

16 Dec 2012, 10:45 am

Rorberyllium wrote:
How would I know what her AIM is? Kids don't even use AIM anymore, it's all about Skype now. I feel so damn old.



I mean, her purpose.



Iloveshoujoai
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 19 Jan 2010
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 184

16 Dec 2012, 11:16 am

NateRiver wrote:
she is not sure of my sexuality and treats me as if I'm straight e.g. talking about hot boys with me,saying which guy I should go out with.


If she isn't sure, make her sure by repeating that you're not interested in these guys, and if you haven't said anything at all to her at all about your sexuality (I am assuming you have said something,) then of course she is going to assume you are straight.

More importantly you need to speak up about who you like when you're with her (might make her jealous,) there's no reason she shouldn't listen to who you like after you've listened to who she likes.



NateRiver
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 8 Feb 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 238

16 Dec 2012, 11:28 am

Iloveshoujoai wrote:
NateRiver wrote:
she is not sure of my sexuality and treats me as if I'm straight e.g. talking about hot boys with me,saying which guy I should go out with.


If she isn't sure, make her sure by repeating that you're not interested in these guys, and if you haven't said anything at all to her at all about your sexuality (I am assuming you have said something,) then of course she is going to assume you are straight.

More importantly you need to speak up about who you like when you're with her (might make her jealous,) there's no reason she shouldn't listen to who you like after you've listened to who she likes.


Oh I used to like this guy at my school and I told her about it. She made up a lie about him saying he smoked weed.I'm a bisexual after all.



matchalatte
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 15 Dec 2012
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 81
Location: USA

16 Dec 2012, 10:15 pm

In my experience being a woman and a lesbian, women are not only hard to read and difficult to understand, but to make things even more complicated, sometimes they literally aren't aware of what they want...

So what my experience is telling me is it really could be anything. Some women play with others because they like the attention or they like teasing them and it's a social game like the way dogs play with each other with bones, not with any intention at all of looking for a romantic relationship. It's like social exercise or something to that effect. On the other hand, some people are brought up in houses where it's appropriate to be more touchy-feely whereas others don't so depending on her background, this could either be normal behavior for this girl -- something she might do to a cousin or brother regularly -- or something more meaningful and thus, indicative of real feelings. In addition, it's also possible this girl might like you and she herself isn't really all that aware of it.

I've found that the only way to be sure is to ask in a partially joking way. If someone were doing this to me, I'd probably say: if you keep stroking my hair like that, people might think you have a crush on me...<insert chuckle here> Addressing a serious topic that isn't morbid in joke form helps to get rid of some of the pressure so that she won't feel as embarrassed or uncomfortable as if you, say, went out and said to her: hey, do you have feelings for me?

This non-serious approach, though longer and more drawn out than simply asking: do you like me or not? is really much better accepted by people (specifically NTs) in my experience. I think it's because when their feelings are out in the open, they get scared so not drawing direct attention (by joking rather than being direct) helps them to feel not so vulnerable and exposed.

I know this situation is rough. I've been there and suffered from the situation of NTs, especially, being playful without any intent to follow through or just being contradictory. It's confusing and frustrating and messy, but I hope my insight on this helps. I've been there many times so I feel your pain. I hope however things work out, that they're for the best for you. :)



Magdalena
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 6 Feb 2012
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 205
Location: United States

18 Dec 2012, 2:08 am

Rorberyllium wrote:
How would I know what her AIM is? Kids don't even use AIM anymore, it's all about Skype now. I feel so damn old.


Nice. :D

Although Skype is quickly becoming a crappy product.


_________________
Male-bodied pansexual and panromantic.

Your Aspie score: 130 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 90 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie
EQ Score: 37/100 ("low empathy")


Rorberyllium
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Sep 2012
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 546
Location: Maryland, United States

18 Dec 2012, 5:30 am

Yeah I don't use it because I have a ten year old laptop and it's a resource hog that makes everything chug. Pidgin's the only non-browser-based chat program that really works for me. Makes it impossible to keep up with anyone who is under 23.