Marriage Equality in Maryland, Maine, Washington

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Probably the best news to come out of this election season, Maryland, Washington, and Maine are now allowing same-sex marriages. So who is getting married?

I'm not getting wifed up, but I did do a victory dance when I heard the good news. ^_^

That's great! I do hope that the whole of the U.S allows it someday. It seems unfitting for it not to and the reasons i hear agianst same-sex marriage are not very good.I do not live in either of those places but I am happy that the people wishing to get married to another of the same sex may do so legally in those states. And of course I'm not getting married, I'm a kid!

it's only been a little while between this and now but has anyone heard any news of states legalizing same-sex marriage or getting closer to legalizing? I wouldn't know the news as I don't live in the US.

Washingston legalized last Thursday (Dec. 6). Due to the three day waiting period, the first weddings too place on Sunday, December 9.

Hooray for Maryland!! !! !! !! (I'm from the DMV.)

Which also means that they are allowing same-sex divorces, as well.

Of course.

After all, if we are just the same as straights, then we are no less likely to make choices that we later come to regret. We are no less likely to confront changes in our lives that cause our relationships to fall apart.

I am prepared to take the bad with the good.

Yeah I'd be more worried if divorce wasn't included.

Why is divorce seen as a bad thing though?

Because divorce always means that it was a bad marriage. Good marriages never result in divorce.

Of course, some couples stay in a bad marriage without ever getting a divorce.

The only way to prevent a divorce is to never get married.

People get divorced for all sorts of reasons. A lot of marriages actually end rather amicably for reasons other than "bad marriage". People change all the time so eternal monogamy is kind of a ridiculous standard to try and uphold.

I feel like staying in a bad marriage would be far more harmful than getting a divorce, yet getting divorced is always treated like some tragedy.

I don't actually intend to get married unless it was to a trusted friend for tax or power of attorney purposes, and even then both parties would be signing a very detailed prenup beforehand. Same-sex marriage just gives me more options as to who I can participate in a sham marriage with.

Well, by that measure, clearly heterosexuals have been complete and utter failures at marriage. So the sooner with ban opposite sex marriages, the sooner we can protect all those poor, misguided heteros from getting married.

In all seriousness, I suspect that over time you will see a marginally lower rate of divorce among same-sex marriages:

1) We are are under less social pressure to marry, so when we do marry, it is generally an affirmative choice, rather than a response to Mom's incessant hounding.

2) Our relationships have fewer preconceived conventions. Monogamy 'til death do us part is the heterosexual norm. Couples for whom that is unworkable are then confronted with the obligation either to change that norm for their own marriage, or dissolve their marriage. Among gay couples, lifelong monogamy may be an ideal, but it is--I suggest--not laden down with the same conventional rigour that it is in heterosexual relationships.

3) The stakes are lower. Same-sex couples are less likely to have a single income, and less likely to have dependent children. This diminishes the motivation to enter into marriage for reasons other than an intention to live together permanently.

That does not mean that there will not be divorces--and probably many of them. But proportionally, I suspect that we will see fewer than among our heterosexual peers.

Nice write-up there. I'd also add that there likely won't be any same-sex shotgun weddings, as it's very difficult to accidentally adopt a kid or artificially inseminate someone.

I am very sure that it is. However I am now thinking on how on earth you could accidentally do either of those things?

The most common way to "accidentally" adopt a child is through the death of a sibling. Some gay couples become parents when their neices and nephews are orphaned.

As for artificial insemination, there might be cases of one person making use of frozen sperm, eggs or embryos without the consent of the other partner--but I wouldn't describe those as accidental.

That makes sense