Confused Teenage Boy (16+ preferred)

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Hi there,
I wasn't sure what section to put this in, on the forums but I think It suits this section well.
My names Sam , I am 16 years old and have Aspergers syndrome. My sexuality, I don't know.... but I think theres a very good chance I could be gay.

Firstly I feel that all my emotions, including sexuel and friendship feelings and a lot more, have all been mixed up and messed with.

When it comes to Boys, I feel like I can't be friends with them unless I am sexually attracted them, when the sexuel attraction goes I will eventually start to go off them, which I hate about myself because that isn't nice.
When I first fancy someone I obsess over them and really want to spend time with them, so I do so, always sitting next to them in class and all sorts, but then I start getting bored of them after sexuel attraction goes away and also once I have got to know them really well and when they start getting to really know me well I push them away, it's like I don't want them getting to close..

Also when it comes to Boys it take me months to be-friend them and I get nervous meeting new boys.

When It comes to girls, I'm not sure because I don't really spend a lot of time around them since I was 13, as there isn't any in my school, but when I do, I'm not that nervous around them and I can pretty much be-friend them almost instantly and I can chat, and chat for hours. As a young boy growing up in other schools, my best friend would always be a girl. As naturally I got along with them better, and I also always got on with my sister better. I also always played with girls toys like Barbies, I hated boys toys and never played with them.


As weird as this may sound but hey, this is the autistic forum after all.I sometimes, if I'm really bored still play with barbies now, but I think I could be a sensory thing, I make up a little story in my head and get in character and mainly just stair at the hair and stim. (Look up Stimming on the, autism wikia if you wan't more info. )

So yeah, I have many confused and complex issues , if someone could explain to me what might be going on or have gone through a simlar thing, I would appreciate it very much.

Thanks,

Sam

My attraction for boys was also around your age but I didn't understand it. When I went off to college at 18 I started looking into this strange fascination and occupation with males. Weird feeling to have but it was there. Of course, I got no support from my family. None, zero, zip. They weren't trying to hear it and figured a stronger religious regimen would cure me. Yeah, fat chance. I actually did not meet my first boyfriend or do anything sexually with anyone till I was 23. I think we live in better times now. People are more tolerant; gay folks are getting married all over. Try not to beat yourself up about it. You have lots and lots of company and support around you. And you know, with that Barbie issue, who knows? Maybe you're supposed to be a fashion designer or doll maker when you grow up!

Hey thanks for your response, I appreciate you took the time to reply. I, myself, am a christian, so having these feelings really bug me and, Your story is intresting. I can't even imagine how hard it must of been during the 70s and 80s... and lol yeah maybe a fashion designer...

Hey, feel free to pm me any questions or discussions you might want to have. Im 17 and gay, and have aspergers, and until recently considered myself a christian. I also live in an area which I figure is probably pretty homophobic, though I haven't had any issues with that as of yet.

When I was about 12 or 13 or so, I was attracted to both males and females, but more so with males. But now I'm only attracted to males.