I never cared much being transgender

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I'm (female to male) transgender.
I know since years for sure, I'm also taking testosterone since nearly two years, have my chest operation propably next month and I'm getting my name changed at the moment (what's actually a bit difficult in my country).

So, I'm on "my way" if you will.
But I still never really cared much about being transgender.
I mean, with autism and with the other stuff I have or may have I read tons of books and other stuff, informed myself much and so on. But with being transgender it was different from the beginning. I knew I want to do this and thought about it a lot, but besides that I didn't read much about it and just write sometimes in an transgender forum. I have transgender friends, but I didn't look for them, it's more like they found me if you will.

It was more something I just am I would say and that's it. For me there was never much about it and also not much reason to talk about it. In fact most of the time in therapy I even didn't know what to say about being transgender, because that's just me and since I was sure about it nothing much I need to tell shrinks about it, just if they did like to know.

Who also felt this way?
Any other experiences?

I'm glad that you feel in that way.

I am not a transgender, but I'm gay. I have been so since the age of 5. I never thought too much about it. It's just the way I am and I don't want to change it or anything.

i don't understand people who claim to be gay or whatever

does it really their real tendency? hard to believe.

don't be mad on me. at least i'm not silence like many of the rest.

Yes, same here.



It's the same with autism if you will.
Some have it, most don't and many are somewere on the spectrum in between those two poles.

I also don't really understand your comment. I mean, most ppl just know who they love and what they are.

Last edited by Raziel on 12 Jan 2013, 1:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Be afraid, we're everywhere.

Jokes aside, Raziel, my experience of being transgendered is much the same as yours. Much more like how you describe than that of my NT trans friends.

is it for real or it might just be something they aquiered over the years? i mean is it sure to be in genes?

Interesting, so it's more an autistic thing not to care that much about being somehow LGBT.



Some genes, but sientists mainly think that it's mainly the hormones while pregnancy so far I'm informed.

Hmm, that's an interesting idea. I'm bi myself, and I find that most women I date, whether they are gay or bi, tend to be actively into the LGBT "scene" or whatever you want to call it, or are passionate about gay rights and similar causes. I'm really not interested in any of that stuff. I don't feel like going to special queer events, or rallies, or anything that is specifically LGBT-related. I've also never understood "coming out", and why someone who is not straight or cis-gendered should "come out" as such, when straight, cis-gendered people are not expected to do the same.

I'm Lesbian, Bi, whatever they want to call it i guess.
I have been in a 5 year relationship with my partner who is Lesbian.

Sexuality is so complex sometimes it feels that it cannot be labeled.

We aren't into the gay scene either. It was novel for a bit while i was a teenager, yet we're old now.

LGBT events, well a lot of them i think that folks go to network or meet other people at them.
It sort of seems a fad within some LGBT folks to be all involved.

Raziel, I understand you completely.

I am also FtM (though I completed transition a number of years ago) and I completely get what you are talking about. I'm not interested in "being trans" either. I did visit online trans spaces for a couple of years during my transition, because while I was transitioning the information there was valuable, but my intention was always to get transition out of the way so I could forget about it and get on with things, which is exactly what I did. I never considered being trans to be part of my "identity", never sought out transgender friends just because they were also transgender (I never felt I had much more in common with them than most other people, which I later found was due to being autistic). And I never had any desire to be part of a "LGBT scene". I don't even really understand what that is.

On the other hand, being autistic is a big part of my identity. It affects the way I perceive, process and interact with the world, and it's something which other people need to be aware of if I'm going to have a meaningful relationship with them. That is quite a different issue to my gender history, which isn't something it would even occur to me to mention except in the very unusual circumstance that I am interested in a relationship with someone. Honestly, I consider myself a normal man to such a degree, and have done for so many years now, that I'm sometimes surprised when something reminds me I used to be female. It's a little weird to think about it. I don't "identify" with that experience at all. It was just something I needed to go through in order to progress in my life and so I did it.

I think this is a healthy way to go about things, so don't worry about it or think of it as strange!

I'm trans, and I've never really been as into it as NT trans people I know. It's alsways just been a "It's what I am, so what?" kind of thing.

I'm much the same in that regard. I just knew what I was from a young age. I have had therapists insist I was not serious simply because I just KNEW. I didn't need therapy to prove it. For me it was more about being sure, really sure for myself, and then worrying endlessly over being accepted by my family. I live with my parents, probably always will, so I seriously had to consider what they would do to me. It's kinda funny for me when I look back on it. I mean, I was born intersexed, so I don't really know why I was so worried about telling them. I had heard all these horror stories, and they stuck with me, though my parents would never do that. I know that now, anyway.

For me, transitioning is more a psychological thing. I have a partner who treats me like I want to be treated, sees me as his husband, and I'm learning to cope with (learning to not care) what/how other people see me. A "full" transition isn't possible for me, and with the current state of things, surgery results, etc., I would never be happy. I know what I am, and I'm learning more about myself everyday, and I have to be happy with that. I do have a beautiful dream of actually being able to transition and have everything the way it should be, but I hold onto that as what it is: a dream. Of course it helps me immensely that I already have my own male-ish traits, so it's basically the equivalent of going on T. I cannot do more than that. I must accept being seen as a freak in public, a man with breasts, or a woman with a beard. Such is life.

I wish you all the best.