How do I know if she (AS) likes me (NT)?

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ifitsdark
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06 Mar 2013, 11:53 pm

I recently went on a first date with a girl I met online (both girls). She said in her profile that she has AS so I'm not diagnosing her or anything and she was very open about it. Anyway, we had tea and hung out- talking for a while then ordered food and had dinner. It was about 4 hours and both of us talked a lot (unusual for me). I felt pretty comfortable and had a good time and think that she did too. When I was leaving she gave me a hug. Earlier in the night she said something about a next time but I haven't heard from her since- however, it is exams in school so everyone is busy. So I guess I just wanted to ask if you think these were good signs and if I should ask her to go out another time? Thanks
(Posted in another section before I saw this one sorry)



cathylynn
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07 Mar 2013, 12:44 am

by all means, ask her out again.



idratherbeatree
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07 Mar 2013, 1:18 am

Ask her plainly.

All the hair flipping and eyelash batting you learned about doesn't mean much to us.


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Reconsidering ASD, I might just be NVLD.


goldfish21
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07 Mar 2013, 6:36 am

and chances are pretty good she's just got her head in her books zoning out from the rest of the world.. that can happen for weeks/months/years for some of us. :lol:

Not being overly social, you'll likely be the one to have ask for a second date. If she's interested in you as a friend or more, she'll accept. Super simple.



Urist
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07 Mar 2013, 10:46 am

People with AS are generally terrible with signals. As has already been mentioned, ask her directly. It'll be far more effective and she'll most likely give you a far straighter answer than most people would.



Debussey
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23 Mar 2013, 9:23 pm

Haha, you've basically described my first date with my now-partner. She said she felt very comfortable with me, we talked forever, but she wasn't sure I liked her because I was really slow to return texts (didn't realize the etiquette) and I was kind of physically closed off but gave her a hug at the end of the night. My partner has had to make a lot of the first moves and start a lot of the big relationship talks, although I've gotten better over time as we've built trust and comfort with each other.

Not that I am representative, but I know that if I am asked a direct question I will answer it sincerely, but I won't volunteer information that makes me vulnerable because I'm uncomfortable with the social conventions around that kind of personal reveal. I wait to see if someone else does it, and then follow their lead. My partner was taken aback by my directness sometimes, but she had to be the one to bring things up.

Anyway, don't worry if you aren't getting physical signals. The 4-hour talk and hug are both good signs. You might have to put yourself out there in terms of expressing your interest and intentions if you want her to reciprocate that openness.