I may be bisexual, but I'm still not sure...

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For one I'm a Christian and afraid that its a sin, because of what it says in the Bible and Homosexual stands for both men and women. So if its really a sin. Women are just as much doomed as men are. Secondly, well my mom is just really against it and don't think that the same sex should be together and is highly against me being that way, but how would she understand in the first place is she's never even been nothing but straight all of her life? So now my mom always thinks that when she's gone for her dialysis treatment 3 times in the week that I'm gonna go out and try to find me a girl friend behind her back. So I'm already stuck there too. She's really watching me good. She's like got me really pinned down. She's really trying to control me here on this. Would this be horrible, rude, and rebellious against her if I just go ahead and act on my feelings and stop listening to her? Because I'm a nice, sweet, respectful and polite daughter and I don't wanna mess that up and we're so close, but the way she's treating me right now just makes me feel really uncomfortable, tied down and it doesn't make me feel any better. Would it be my fault if this kills her or gives her a heart attack? I'm so afraid that I'm gonna feel guilty if something bad happens to her. Plus what if I get kicked out of the house?

I must say, i feel for you. Sex is a complicated issue that religions of all kinds reject and criticize, so i was raised in a "queers go to hell" type of family myself. I recomend being honest about it, and also politely letting her know that you are going to do what you want. If she kicks you out than your f****d but shes also a control freak who cares more about control than her own daughter. There is nothing wrong with that, at the same time i do highly suggest choosing a male if you want a family... since you cant get pregnant from a female. Good luck

I've honestly told her that I've kind of had thoughts about females. I told her that I was being honest with her. She should of at least appreciated that I was honest with her about it, but she was still upset with me and was really going off on me about it saying oh like "You better not turn that way!" and making me feel guilty. She's just so protective of me. I've once told her not to tell me what to do, but that was on something else and she got all hurt, said she was about to cry and that it was going to kill her. Then I started to cry. I believe that she should really respect my decisions and especially on something like this and my sexuality. Also to be honest I'm afraid of pregnancy and having a baby. The thought of it coming out down there gives me the creeps even before I ever had thoughts about being with a women. I'm also not too crazy about a mans "Thing" going up me. I mean I'm still into men, but that's the only thing that creeps me out about them and it don't even seem that enjoyable to me for his "Thing" to go up in me like that though I still feel that I could go either way having a man or a women.

"Protective" is giving her too much credit. It sounds to me more like she had an idealised vision of what kind of daughter she wanted in her head, and anything else isn't good enough for her. That she is more interested in demonising your preferences than supporting you shows a blatant lack of interest in your feelings, at least to me. Don't be ashamed of what you are. It isn't harmful to anyone. Quite frankly, it only affects her in any way because she makes it do so with paranoia I would reserve for my worst enemies, not for my children.

Last edited by Urist on 21 Mar 2013, 4:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

This.

At no point will you be sleeping with your mother, so your sex life has nothing to do with her. If she reacts like that to you being open and honest about your thoughts and feelings, stop telling her. It's none of her business who you're attracted to or who you sleep with or don't.

As for her rigid beliefs and ideals, largely formed by her faith it seems, consider this:

A devout Christian considers him or herself to live a moral & ethical life.
A devout Muslim considers him or herself to lead a moral & ethical life.

Yet either may see the other as doing immoral or unethical things. The Christian may not think much of the Muslim's ways of clothing and concealing their women, finding it oppressive and inhumane. The Muslim may not think much of the Christian's consumption of wine as it is alcohol, an impurity entering the body. etc.

Both lead moral & ethical lives, and both are right to believe so, it's merely that they do so by different sets of moral and ethical code.

The point is that just because something may seem wrong to, or for, your mother or her particular faith group doesn't necessarily mean it is wrong for you as an individual, and it doesn't mean you're sinning - only by others' criteria. If it's natural and acceptable, normal and feels right to you, and it doesn't harm anyone else (aside from their overblown reactions to it as if it has any actual bearing on their lives) then whatever, go with the flow and do as you please. It's you who has to live your life, and your love life, not your mother. She doesn't really get a say, IMO, and to an extent neither do you - you are who you are and you'll be attracted to who you're attracted to, period.

ShyChristianGirl:

Being protective is one thing. Being a control freak is another. Your mother is the latter. You are not going to be rebellious and rude if you stand up for yourself. This is your life, not hers. You have the right to decide what you want to do with it, not her. And it is a good thing that you were honest with her about the whole subject. She is the problem here because she is not accepting you for who you are. You have done nothing wrong.

Last thing I told my mom was that yes girls do seem a bit interesting, but not to worry and that I was looking for a boy friend. Well that is true because I was naturally looking for a boy friend. As the days have passed on more and more sense I said that...Well now I'm really confused what I really want to look for, because of what my mom might say and also because of religion. She's really going to be throwing it up in my face on how wrong it is once I make my move.

I highly recommend you read or watch this.

It is a detailed explanation of the references to homosexuality in the bible, showing that homosexuality is not a sin. It might help you personally reconcile your religion and your sexuality, and could help you explain the issue to your mom.

Thank you so much. That really helped me out a lot. Though I don't know if its really going to get my mom to understand, because she's really stuck to her beliefs and won't change them. She's also already told me that even if it was not a sin she still wouldn't like it.

You're welcome, I'm glad it helped. I sympathize with you about your mom, when I come out to my dad I'll be facing the same situation.