I call it: Starerism

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Hi again, its been ages since I've been on here. When it comes to Love, I only ever seem to follow one pattern:

1. Fall in love with a guy (yes, I am gay)
2. Completely pledge myself to that person, doesn't matter if they love me or not
3. Always defend them in every single argument even if they are wrong
4. Grant them immediate unrestricted access to every single piece of personal information they request
5. Throw caution to the wind
6. Do better at everything
7. When it all falls apart I feel like I am worth nothing.
8. Cycle repeats

Some people say I need to put safeguards in place. I don't, because I operate solely on Love.
Your views would be appreciated.

If I was good looking, young and desirable I'd have tons of safeguards up around me. After all, I'd have the luxury of picking and choosing as I see fit. Unfortunately, that's not the case. I have to take what I can get, the rejects nobody wants, the misfits everybody hates. As it is, I'm not currently looking as I have trust issues anyway. I've been alone so long it's 2nd nature to me.

I am much in the same boat. Not great looking and I have taken the reject. But, what I see in him is something that far exceeds normal human traits. I mean, I am not a social reject at all and have surrounded myself with friends. Him being at the other end of the spectrum. But we are almost exactly the same. Both lost everything, both into computers and both running lives different to those that could be considered normal. Oh, and I forgot to mention he is straight.

that is the worst part of falling in love: finding out they are actually heterosexual. it has happened to me many times.

love to me is th same thing as friendship, thuogh Ive learnd I haev highre expectatoins of friends than most people - for exampl, I expect my frinds to be completely loyall to me (as in no cozying up to soemone who is clerly my enemy becuse then I cant trust them), to not intentionaly hurt me, to be there fir me in both goodd and bad times. So basicaly then, when I fall headd ovre heels for seomone, I know its not realy love, as its not liablle to last and it may be only that I am so atracted to them and they dont like me at all - if I can sustain a friendshipp with that person, then thts love and I avoid being hurt so much.

Yet even rejections you can turn into something positive. I don't require permission to Love someone. I see Love as a positive thing always because it gives you a greater sense of empathy. It also can be used to boost your morale temporarily. If they don't like you loving them its tough. not their choice, as long as you don't go stalking them. What people fail to understand is that Love isn't just something you can turn off at the push of a button either.

From your post I take it you're referring to romantic love alone. that's not important at all. Everyone can get by easily without it.

However, there are far more forms of love than that, and I think life would be pointless without anyone you love and who love you, regardless of the kind of love it is. In that regard, love is everything.