Need help finding a LGBT group for teens please

Page 1 of 1 [ 3 posts ] 

OliveOilMom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,447
Location: About 50 miles past the middle of nowhere

09 Jun 2013, 8:22 pm

One of my younger daughters friends is 17 and recently came out to her mother who is absolutely horrible to her about it. She's never had much freedom about going places with friends (she comes here occasionally to see my daughter and to one other friend's house but that's it and it's rare that they let her stay out more than a few hours at a time and in two years has only been allowed to sleep over twice) but now her freedom is even more restricted by her mom and since it's summer all she can do is stay home and babysit her younger siblings and plus, her mother is now talking about homeschooling. The main way she keeps in touch with her friends is FB, but she has been able to come over about once a month since her mother clamped down on her, so we do see her.

Her mother is VERY religious and also has a full time job as a school teacher in a school in Birmingham and is very authoritarian. Her parents are divorced and her dad is just an ass and also drunk half the time. But, her mother likes me and we talk sometimes (but never about anything except for just mainly girl talk and never about anything personal) so she lets her daughter come see my daughter occasionally and she said she is allowed to go places with us if we ever go on any "family outings" like movies or out to eat or things like that - which we don't really do.

Here is my question. The girl talks to me because I'm the only mother figure that she has access to who will talk to her and treat her like an adult and who also doesn't see a problem with her sexuality and wants to help support her during this time. She wants to go to a support group but I don't know of one and having never been a fan of support groups in general for anything, I don't know how to find a good one for her. I could take her and tell her mother she was going somewhere with my daughter and me, and she would let us go. My daughter is very supportive as well and has offered to go and be there with her and hold her hand while she has to talk and get to know strangers - the girl is really shy. Let's call her Kathy. Kathy is really smart and funny and great to talk to once you get to know her but being as shy as she is, that's difficult for her, so going to a support group and talking in front of a group of strangers will be difficult but she desperately wants to. I want to know how to find this group for her. Getting her there isn't the problem, finding one is. She doesn't have a phone at home during the day while her mother is gone (she teaches summer school too) and isn't allowed to get online then either (her mother says it will distract her from babysitting), so she's asked me to find a group for her. Are there any good groups that run support groups for teens? I don't want to just look in the Tuscaloosa phone book and call around and take her to the first one I see, because as shy as she is, a bad experience or a bad group might make her not want to go to any more.

What are some good organizations that run groups for teenagers please? Also, if anybody here could think back to their teen years and put themselves in her situation, is there anything else I can do to be more supportive for her? It's not something she talks about a lot, but she does talk occasionally about it. At least to me anyway, her and my daughter talk all the time and I don't know what they talk about but I figure it's standard teenage girl fare there. Her mother is like I said very authoritarian (not authoritative, she's like a dictator) and very religious (she's AME and not only will she not believe Kathy is gay she won't believe Kathy is an atheist - apparently anything different from her mother is just "a phase") and Kathy is actually getting somewhat depressed because of this. She's had a rough time anyway with her mother being so controlling and overprotective, but now that she's basically cut off from everyone most of the day, every day, it's a lot more difficult for her. My daughter has tried to come and hang during the day there with Kathy and help her babysit but the mother won't have any of that.

So, are there any suggestions for a group or even to help give her support? Her mother is so over the top about things that Kathy isn't even allowed science fiction books and has to sneak and hide them there at the house, so she's like that.


_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA. ;-)

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com


seaturtleisland
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Feb 2012
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,243

10 Jun 2013, 10:55 am

If you were living in Ontario I could help you because I know what groups are available here. I have no idea what's available where you live.

If she's talking to you about it you're already doing a lot. When I was in high school the hardest thing was being afraid to talk to anyone about my feelings. I eventually opened up to a counsellor and it was a relief.

She only has a phone when her mom is home? Is there anyway she can have some privacy on the phone when her mother is home? It'd be nice if she could call a hotline in secret.



OliveOilMom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,447
Location: About 50 miles past the middle of nowhere

12 Jun 2013, 1:15 pm

A really sweet girl who I know here is talking to her too now. This girl is gay (or maybe bi, I can't remember which - we haven't been friends long enough yet for me to be putting my nose in her love life) and she said she would be glad to "big sister" her. They are now FB friends.

The girl's friends all know and nobody rags her about it or anything. Thank God that generation is chill about things like that. If she had ben born 30 years earlier she probably wouldn't have gotten any support from her friends. I'm really glad she's got a decent size group of friends to offer support for her.


_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA. ;-)

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com