I didn't know I was Asexual until last year, when I joined Tumblr which is known for having lots of LGBT-related posts. I spent most of my life thinking I was just Heterosexual because I had crushes on boys, but I never wanted to do anything more than go out with them and do things best friends did, and maybe some kissing. It turns out I was just romantically attracted to boy (Maybe not even that anymore after what happened when I had a boyfriend). I didn't know how big of a thing sexual attraction was, I thought that my lack of it was because of my Aspergers, and also because I was more immature and naive because it took me years to understand what certain words and phrases meant, and exactly what people were thinking when they liked another person.
I thought that Asexual meant someone who chose not to have sex or did not enjoy it, but while some Asexuals do choose not to and don't enjoy it, some of them do enjoy it (I have to admit I did even though the relationship didn't go very well), it's just that they don't get the urge to do it when they like someone. So when I found out the actual meaning, I realised that this applied to me, and it made me understand a lot more about myself. I'm quite happy to talk about being Asexual on the internet, but the few times I've tried to tell anyone in real life, they say that I "Haven't met the right boy yet," and that one day I will feel sexual attraction. If I was going to feel that, I would have done already. I'll never know what it does feel like, but at least I have a reason for not feeling it. I just wish I'd known sooner so I could have avoided my bad relationship, but if I didn't go through that, I wouldn't be who I am now.
01 May 2016, 10:34 pm
