AdamAutistic wrote:
why would they be on a dating site if they have an easy time meeting people?
Another quote: "Yep, I try to remember that almost all online dating pics show people at their absolute (if not unrealistic) best. Few things make me ignore someone faster than a pic of them having wild and crazy good times with a big group of friends. I've dated social butterflies before, and it has always ended quite quickly."
And another quote: "best picture is of me staring at a cat".
********
Hey guys, I have used gay dating sites and apps a fair bit so here is my take on the situation.
Why use it if it's easy for someone to meet people?
- you don't have to go out late to a bar to meet people on a site or app; you can check and write messages any time - before work, lunch break, in your pyjamas at home eating dinner; so you don't have to get dressed nice, put up with crowds, smoking, loud people, drunk people, music, you don't have to buy drinks and pay for transport; and you can make a date any time, and not wait til 10pm to meet someone
- also, you may be too tired or too busy to get to a bar or social function; or you might be getting older and not care for drinking and dancing all night any more
Photos show people at their best/my best photo is of me staring at a cat
- of course they do, but if you can't believe how hot they are, just ask for a few more pics - probably a total of 4 pictures is enough to be sure
- also, play the game! Get your six best photos, preferably some of you doing something awesome that you love, maybe rock climbing, cooking, lying in the sun, exploring some tourist site. If you don't have six, get your friend to take photos of you.
- unique pics are good, showing something of your or their personality; but if the only ones of you are introspective, or all your photos are of the same day, with the same facial expression, that's not good
I don't think you need to either hide yourself, or reveal yourself. That means, don't be too general (e.g. I like reading, I like music) - say something interesting and specific (e.g. I like traveling to learn about history, I like classical music) but not too specific (remember we do tend to obsess), and also my personal feeling is to not say you have autism or AS. If you leave it a bit ambiguous then that lets the other person ask questions. I hate small talk but that is required for getting a date. Go figure!
Once you have a date organised, you have to listen and ask questions despite all your urges to talk, or your urge to shut up through nerves!
Have fun!