Why are so many Aspies asexual or genderqueer?

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I am...
genderqueer 15%  15%  [ 43 ]
genderqueer 17%  17%  [ 50 ]
asexual 8%  8%  [ 22 ]
asexual 9%  9%  [ 26 ]
genderqueer and asexual 10%  10%  [ 28 ]
genderqueer and asexual 10%  10%  [ 30 ]
none of the above 15%  15%  [ 44 ]
none of the above 16%  16%  [ 48 ]
Total votes : 291

DevilKisses
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17 Oct 2013, 1:52 am

I see a lot of asexual and genderqueer people here.


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Heidi80
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17 Oct 2013, 7:51 am

There are many theories. One theory that expecially explains FtM-transgenders is that the autistic brain is more logic (ie "male) even in biologically female persons on the spectrum. Another theory is that it is easier for us to go away from the norm and choose other forms of self-expression, because we don't always recognize society's norms



stardraigh
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17 Oct 2013, 10:24 am

I don't consider myself genderqueer, although with not being fully transitioned, people confuse me as such. I consider myself as mid-transition mtf transsexual.


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tern
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17 Oct 2013, 10:32 am

I hate all social norms and consider it genocide and enslavement for such thing as norms to exist on any scale ever. So obviously this includes norms for the genders.

I think Heidi's theory is right. I'm none of the above, I'm straight, but I identify with her on going away from the norm. This also applies to any straight person who rejects defining our orientation or gender by fitting any norms. I detest everything about cultural masculinity and virility and macho, I think they make society harder and unnecessarily less nice, and they were contructs developed to perpetuate recruitment to armies in the times when that was assumed to be for men. I demand to have the same wider range of social freedom, outside sex, over personal likes and lifestyle choices, as gays have, while being straight. And I'm not in constant pursuit of physical satisfaction, either: which is lucky, cos the pursuit would not be satsfied.



hochi
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17 Oct 2013, 10:59 am

tern wrote:
I hate all social norms and consider it genocide and enslavement for such thing as norms to exist on any scale ever. So obviously this includes norms for the genders.


Interesting way to put it but I for the most part agree.

I personally don't like to attach a label to my own gender.

If I went somewhere and saw a person working at a front desk or as a cashier, etc., I would walk away and be aware of the fact that they were biologically male or female. But the stereotypical assumptions that I've heard many others make related to gender don't necessarily come naturally to me. For example, at my job, I would not really process any kind of male:female ratio as others might. Looking back at my schooling, I have no idea as to which genders were "more present" in the classes I took. In addition to that, if I saw a boy playing with a doll and a girl with a truck I would think nothing of it. I've noticed most other people tend to think those situations are odd or inappropriate for their gender.

Perhaps I think this way because of how I was raised, or perhaps it is because I myself don't neatly fit into any sort of gender binary category, socially. Perhaps this way of thinking is the reason I can't stand the gender binary - because I can't recognize or understand it. It could go either way.

Maybe people with Aspergers are more likely to think this way.

It was hard for me to find words to express that, I hope it made sense.


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puddingmouse
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17 Oct 2013, 7:10 pm

I'm pretty much genderqueer, though I look like a woman and I don't care if people see me as one.

I think being on the spectrum has some effect on this (possibly a large one) though I don't know what it is.


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Fnord
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17 Oct 2013, 7:11 pm

DevilKisses wrote:
Why are so many Aspies asexual or genderqueer?

Exactly how many is "so many"?

Do you know the meaning of "Confirmation Bias"?


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Mike1
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17 Oct 2013, 7:41 pm

I'm asexual, but I don't consider myself genderqueer. I'm more like half masculine and half androgynous. If I was a female, I'd be half feminine and half androgynous. It's against my philosophy to go against the flow. This is mostly due to me being a Pathological Demand Avoidant, and being kind of annoyed with American society always using every form of media to try to reinforce the idea that everyone should be constantly moaning about their lives being imperfect, instead of just trying to find happiness in their current circumstances through simple pleasures. People complain too much about little things, that don't go their way, in the facets of their lives that don't completely suck. Why can't they just try to be happy? Since I have Asperger's and other psychological problems, I have to try harder to find happiness. I can't afford to just throw away whatever happiness I can find, like most people negligently do. If I can be happy, I will be happy. I'm just trying to make the most of my life before something completely ruins it.



nuttyengineer
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18 Oct 2013, 8:13 pm

I don't necessarily consider myself "genderqueer" but I went ahead and marked that. I'm a pre-transition FtM who definitely presents as more masculine than feminine... to a point where strangers now assume I'm male when they encounter me unless someone else corrects them.


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ypi
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19 Oct 2013, 10:23 am

tern wrote:
I hate all social norms and consider it genocide and enslavement for such thing as norms to exist on any scale ever. So obviously this includes norms for the genders.

I think Heidi's theory is right. I'm none of the above, I'm straight, but I identify with her on going away from the norm. This also applies to any straight person who rejects defining our orientation or gender by fitting any norms. I detest everything about cultural masculinity and virility and macho, I think they make society harder and unnecessarily less nice, and they were contructs developed to perpetuate recruitment to armies in the times when that was assumed to be for men. I demand to have the same wider range of social freedom, outside sex, over personal likes and lifestyle choices, as gays have, while being straight. And I'm not in constant pursuit of physical satisfaction, either: which is lucky, cos the pursuit would not be satsfied.


Love this reply. The norms bring a lot of suffering and exclusion that aren't always obvious for everybody.
I have difficulties fitting in a stereotype, and the slighest slip out of the norm is heavily noted and doomed by other people.



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19 Oct 2013, 3:16 pm

I'm pretty much gender queer, except I look like a guy, but oh well. :3 Such is life, and I can't change how I look on a whim.



youwho
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31 Oct 2013, 8:33 am

Apparently it's not just 'extreme male brain' any more, it's now a 'gender defiant disorder' http://bjp.rcpsych.org/content/201/2/116.long
[img][800:1280]http://bjp.rcpsych.org/content/201/2/116/F2.large.jpg[/img]

Possibly exacerbated by exposure to endocrine disrupting chemicals at a certain stage of development in the womb.
Too much BPA, synthetic hormones, and too many Phthalates etc.



wavecannon
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02 Nov 2013, 8:51 pm

youwho wrote:
Apparently it's not just 'extreme male brain' any more, it's now a 'gender defiant disorder' http://bjp.rcpsych.org/content/201/2/116.long
[img][800:1280]http://bjp.rcpsych.org/content/201/2/116/F2.large.jpg[/img]

Possibly exacerbated by exposure to endocrine disrupting chemicals at a certain stage of development in the womb.
Too much BPA, synthetic hormones, and too many Phthalates etc.

Fascinating paper that, nice one.



schnozzles
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28 Nov 2013, 3:37 am

I'm queer but not specifically genderqueer. I've always had traditionally male traits and unless I go out of my way to look girly, I am often mistaken for a man. I identify as lesbian currently because I'm in a civil partnership with a woman who I love very much, but I have been with men as well. I have often wondered in the past about transitioning and have always been fascinated by the process but I've never had that deep need that many have and I've grown to love my soft body as I've got older. More so since being with my partner, because she loves it.

Although I often joke that I fit many stereotypes, I actually think everything is a spectrum.

If you read any of Iain M Banks' "Culture" novels, he depicts both sexuality and gender as fluid.

I think because we see things differently anyway, we're just more likely to not feel bound by the "rules" of society.



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28 Nov 2013, 8:16 pm

stardraigh wrote:
I don't consider myself genderqueer, although with not being fully transitioned, people confuse me as such. I consider myself as mid-transition mtf transsexual.


I'm nearish to that stage myself, though because I don't pass and keep getting s**t off people for it, I'm thinking of hiding under the gendrqueer label. Feel like such a coward.



MjrMajorMajor
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28 Nov 2013, 10:02 pm

I may not be "stereotypically feminine", but I still feel feminine. Bisexual, feminine, but not overly concerned with labels. :)