First Date Question

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I'm a girl going on a first date with another girl tomorrow. This is the first time I have ever been on a date. We're going to see a show, and I was the one who proposed the activity. Should I buy her ticket?

Hopefully someone here can answer in time.

My general opinion is that the asker is 'treating' the askee.
Maybe because it'd be rude to ask someone to go do something and make them admit they couldn't afford do that, or force them to spend money they needed/wanted to use elsewhere if they didn't want to admit they were too poor.
Or,
Traditionally men asked women and as (traditionally) men were the 'provider' one couldn't expect a woman to ante up the resources for the activities.
Or,
The person being asked may not know what all is involved and not realizing what they're 'buying into' when they say yes.

I'd say make it easy for her and just take care of everything, if finances are not an issue for her then maybe she'll ask you out - as payback. =)

Since it´s a date I'd say you should pay for the ticket and maybe something to drink as well if she doesn't volunteer to pay for it.

Thanks! I did go ahead and pay. I think it went well, though really I have nothing to judge by. Anyway, she said she wanted to meet up again.

One huge advantage of being lesbian or gay is that you can set the rules of your relationship yourself. However, that's also a disadvantage, because you have to negotiate all sorts of rules that might be conventional in a hetero pairing.

I think if you suggest the film, you have to be ready able and willing to pay for the bus, ticket, popcorn and drink,… and parking or whatever else might be needed.

It's really up to you how often you let this happen. If you pay for three dates and there's no attempt from the other person to pay, you could be annoyed, because usually these days people share costs. Certainly the other person should be planning dates and would therefore pay. I would not keep dating someone who never offered to share the costs.

The other possibility is that they offer to pay half, in which case you are advised on a first date to say, "No, it's my treat", until they really pester you and insist on paying, then you can let them.

When you're going steady, you should be sharing the costs. That doesn't always mean splitting it 50-50. It might depend on your income etc.

In my relationship, I earn a lot more than my boyfriend. He was at first against the idea of expensive dates and didn't want to go to opera or nice restaurants. However, when we had been together for a long time (4-5 months) I finally got him to agree that whoever plans the date should pay. It's not like we always go expensive - sometimes I just hired a DVD and get takeaway pizza - but it means that the person who had no choice and no idea as to the costs would never have to pay. The next date, he plans it and he pays.

One huge advantage of being lesbian or gay is that you can set the rules of your relationship yourself. However, that's also a disadvantage, because you have to negotiate all sorts of rules that might be conventional in a hetero pairing.

I think if you suggest the film, you have to be ready able and willing to pay for the bus, ticket, popcorn and drink,… and parking or whatever else might be needed.

It's really up to you how often you let this happen. If you pay for three dates and there's no attempt from the other person to pay, you could be annoyed, because usually these days people share costs. Certainly the other person should be planning dates and would therefore pay. I would not keep dating someone who never offered to share the costs.

The other possibility is that they offer to pay half, in which case you are advised on a first date to say, "No, it's my treat", until they really pester you and insist on paying, then you can let them.

When you're going steady, you should be sharing the costs. That doesn't always mean splitting it 50-50. It might depend on your income etc.

In my relationship, I earn a lot more than my boyfriend. He was at first against the idea of expensive dates and didn't want to go to opera or nice restaurants. However, when we had been together for a long time (4-5 months) I finally got him to agree that whoever plans the date should pay. It's not like we always go expensive - sometimes I just hired a DVD and get takeaway pizza - but it means that the person who had no choice and no idea as to the costs would never have to pay. The next date, he plans it and he pays.