Is it dishonest to call myself gay?

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I sometimes call myself gay because it's convenient, but I'm not 100% sure if I'm actually gay. I know I like girls, but I'm not too sure if I like guys. For me it's very hard to tell if I'm attracted to someone. I'm planning to just say I'm gay on dating sites because I don't really want to date any guys and I've heard that lesbians don't like bi girls.

This is my criteria:

If you feel like you want to passionately kiss a girl, and be intimate with her, you're gay.

If you feel like you want to passionately kiss a guy, and be intimate with him, you're straight.

If you feel like you want to passionately kiss both genders/sexes, and be intimate with them, you're bisexual.

One could also be primarily straight, or primarily gay.

Then, there are all the other alternatives out there--like queer this and queer that.

Or girls who are attracted to guys who want to be girls, etc.

I, myself, am a straight man who likes feminine girls/women. I do not want to passionately kiss, nor be intimate with, a man.

If the dating site doesn't have any more suitable options, then I don't see a problem with it. Maybe if you think it's necessary you could put something on your profile which elaborates more, saying you're not completely sure, or just that you're 'queer' or something (if you like that as an umbrella term, or maybe something else)?

I don't think it is dishonest. I'm in a pretty similar spot as you (know for sure I like girls, not as sure about the guys). I choose to identify as bi/pan because I feel like it is the most convenient, especially since right now I have a huge crush on my best friend who is a trans man. However, I often think of myself as gay. I think I'm probably a 4.5 on the kinsey scale. I really like the umbrella term queer.

kraftiekortie: It is not neccessarily that simple. I don't neccessarily want to passionately kiss every girl on the street, I usually don't want to do that unless I've taken some time to get to know the person and am attracted to them. I don't spend much time with cis guys and don't find as many of them attractive, so it is harder for me to tell if I could actually be comfortable in a romantic relationship.

Probably if I end up in a permanent relationship with a woman, I will call myself gay, and if I end up in a permanent relationship with a guy, I will call myself bi/pan.

As for dating sites, I use bi. It is my philosophy that someone who doesn't want to date me because I'm bi is not someone I want to be in a relationship with in the first place. However, my profile does say that I am only looking for women.

Which site are you using? On OK Cupid it lets me enter that I'm a girl looking for girls, and it will only match me up girls, even though I've put down that I'm bi. Anyway, like I said, I think it is fine if you just say you are gay.

I totally am dealing with the exact same thing. I don't want to categorize myself as "gay", "bi", or even "pansexual". I catch myself describing my sexual orientation differently to each and every person. If I believe they wouldn't know what the term "pansexual" is , I figure out if I should call myself "bi" or "gay" to them. Most of the time, if I'm asked about my orientation, I say I like men and women but date mostly women. It describes my situation pretty well to someone who isnt as open minded as myself. I've found that most people can grasp as much as I need them to. If I develop that friendship and want to be close to them, I'll open up and give my opinions about sexuality to them. I used to only hang out with lesbians (even though I do enjoy men too) and they all would NEVER identify as "bisexual" or "pansexual" because they thought being bi was a bad thing. Secretly, I knew several women that would sleep with men when they were out of a relationship with a woman. When you are put inside of a box and only see yourself as a label, it makes you feel like you have to lie to others about your true identity. That is why some of these women had to be so incredibly secret about their love lifes. As for dating websites, I have used one before and just said that I am a lesbian too. I am guilty. That is because I don't want to not meet someone because they never messaged me back because I was listed as "bisexual". Sometimes people don't mean to judge others... they just have a misconception on what the term "bisexual" truely means. Unfortunately it was given a bad connotation to both the gay and straight communities.
Sexuality isn't a subject I want to experiment too much with. It truly is convenient to just call myself a lesbian on many levels. I think that might be how a lot of people might feel and that is why they'd rather lie about who theyre sleeping with or who they have dated. Keep in mind, I'm not calling you dishonest whatsoever (the previous sentence was directed towards my previous group of lesbian friends) . I think you're totally being "real". Deep down inside, everyone wants to be real, I believe. It's just really hard to know the depths of your sexual orientation and have to explain it to people that arent on the same page.

If I had a choice, I wouldn't even mention my sexual orientation. I would just say that I'm looking for girls and nothing else. I really wish I could list myself as queer instead of gay. It's more inclusive and it will scare the men away. They'll think I'm some scary radical feminist.

I've never found that being bi prevented me from getting into relationships with men. I know I like men, though - and because it always seems easier to get into relationships with men, that's where most of my past and present sexual experience lies. It's only women that have a serious problem with bisexuals - but I think any woman that has a problem with it isn't worth my time, anyway.

All the other out bi women I meet seem to be in monogamous relationships, usually with men. I've met polyamorous bi women but the ones I met really weren't compatible much with me.

Just from what you have written, it sounds like the little voice in your head might be right, and that you don't like guys.

For myself, I haven't even had a chance to go on a date or kiss a guy (or girl), which makes it harder for me to tell if I'd really be able to have a relationship with a cis guy. I do have a strong crush on a trans guy, but I'm not sure I could have the same sorts of feelings for a cis guy. I've also had that same sort of overwhelming, feels out of control type of crush for a couple of girls, but never for a cis guy.

I have had what you aptly describe as abiguous feelings for a few cis guys, but nothing overwhelming.

You might actually be gay (or at least very much more gay than straight) so I wouldn't say it is dishonest, or even inaccurate, to call yourself gay.

It would be inaccurate for me to call myself either gay or straight. I'm almost ridiculously bisexual. I'm not saying everyone needs to be as certain about it as I am, but if you doubt you are something, then maybe you're not that thing.