I check out other girls

Post Reply New Topic

I know what you are going to say. That I am the only one that can figure out my sexuality and so on. Okay, I am going to figure it out by myself. But I need help. And someone to talk to.
thing is, I had thought I was asexual, and I am still not sure about what attraction is. But I am confused about the possibility of actually being into girls.
I think girls are awesome and beautiful and cute. I always check on them and notice their styles and bodies. I am always looking at them and seeing their eyes, hair, smile and way of moving. Some girls are really hard to stop looking at or to forget because they are so beautiful and cool. I don't know if this is just admiration or attraction. As I said I don't know what attraction is.
today I met a lesbian friend and when she went to say hi she squeezed my boobs. (in here when we meet someone we hug them so she too advantage to squeeze me really hard) I liked it! But I mean, what women wouldn't like to have their boobs squeezed?
I mostly fantasize about boys but I fantasize about my friend as well. Funny thing is when I think a boy is cute he is effeminate or behave like a girl.
when someone approaches me in a sexual way it always feels uncomfortable and unnatural. I am always like: "back off!" at the same time no girl approached me yet, only boys. I don't know if it would be the same for girls.
I kissed two guys in my life thousands of times but didn't like it.
something else happened. I was in my best friend's room and she left the bathroom with just her towel in front of her and she hugged me and that felt super good.
also I went to a site that helps discover sexuality and they asked you to think about the five things you think are sexier. I thought of the upper part of boobs that sometimes appear and I don't know the name in English, this kind of valley; and I thought of women legs because they are beautiful. But I don't know if I think so because that's how I wanted to be. And I also thought of this part of the hair on the neck and male breasts and intense looks.
well I don't know!
and if you want to share your experience or the five things you think are sexiest too feel free, I am interested!

I know that it's scary. I went through this as well. I've always been attracted to girls, but when I was younger I thought I was just a late bloomer. I kept on expecting to eventually like boys. As I got older my attraction to girls got stronger.

This freaked me out, but eventually I accepted myself. What helped me accept myself was getting to know gay people. I'm not saying that you're gay or even bi, I'm just saying that it helped me accept myself. Before I knew gay people in real life I was in complete denial.

What matters most is that whatever happens it isn't a big deal. Whatever you find out about your sexuality, no one will care as much as you. People have their own lives to deal with so it's really just up to you to be okay with. Today most people in the west are like 'Meh' when it comes to people being gay, bi, trans or whatever. I will say though that I have been surprised over the last decade to learn how much women like other women. I remember an ex girlfriend confiding in me that she had similar feelings as you. When she was in high school and getting changed for gym class she would catch herself looking at other girl's bodies. She seemed like she wanted to know if this was normal and I told her it seemed normal to me. And my current girl friend, when we watch TV or movies, she will sometimes make a noise like 'Mmmm' towards female actors in the same way she does to male actors. But she considers herself straight. On Tumblr I follow some women who also consider themselves heterosexual but the amount of female erotica they reblog is amazing. I think for women the emotional side of connecting with other women is important as friends but physically they can also just appreciate other women in the same way men can. If you ask these girls 'Could you ever be with a woman?' they usually say no because they aren't big enough or strong enough to sleep next to every night . You might realise you are gay or bi or straight or maybe you just shouldn't worry about these types of words and just fantasize about what makes you happy, physically and emotionally, and then one day act on that safely. Good luck

Asexuals can be romantically attracted to one gender or the other, without wanting sex.

So... here's one possibility to consider--maybe you're homoromantic, asexual? Like, maybe you want to date, cuddle, maybe even kiss girls, but aren't into sex. Most asexuals do enjoy romance of some sort, whether platonic romance or deep friendship, and many of those are more attracted to one gender than the other.

I've been going through this too. I have always considered myself asexual but I fantasize about some young men I meet, yet I think that a woman's body is more attractive to look at.

there's aesthetic attraction, romantic attraction and sexual attraction.
aesthetic would be when you look at a woman and acknowledge that she's beautiful and admire her beauty, like she's artwork that's meant to be looked at but not touched. romantic would be like, 'she's beautiful and i want to cuddle and kiss and date her and make her happy and being with her makes me happy.' sexual would be like, 'she's beautiful and she gets me sexually aroused and i want to make love to her.' so i guess it's a matter of determining which attraction you have for your friend or to women in general.
i consider myself a lesbian these days. i acknowledge that men can be attractive in an aesthetic way and sometimes get little crushes because they're just so darn cute and i want to keep looking at their cute faces, but i never feel romantic or sexual attraction to them. i only really feel romantic/sexual attraction to women, but i'm not going to ignore that i was pretty evenly bisexual in my youth and that someday i may find a lad who gets my motors running.
idk, sexuality is a spectrum, it's weird, it changes all the time, don't get too worried about it, i suppose.
also, i guess it wouldn't hurt to experiment a little and kiss people of either sex and figure out who you like kissing more.

The word is "cleavage." I like it, too. I find (clothed) boobs pretty the same way I find, say, a nice pair of high heels pretty. Something feminine, not sexual.

I have no interest in sex or romantic relationships, but there are lots of people of both genders whom I find very aesthetically pleasing. I wouldn't want to do anything to them or even necessarily talk to them. I just like to look at them. *shrug*

Whatever you decide to call yourself, I think it's important to remember that labels like "straight" "gay", or "asexual" are just descriptions that make it easier to talk about stuff. The way humans approach attraction, romance, and sex is so diverse and so unique to each person that if we insisted on grouping only people with exactly the same preferences, we would have to have seven billion groups, each with one person in it. Human sexuality is as complicated as human beings are.

So, you are who you are--your problem is simply that of finding appropriate words to communicate your particular style of romance (or lack thereof) to yourself and to others. The words you pick can't change your identity; they can only make it easier to talk about what's always been there. Sometimes people's attractions do change as they age--women who thought they were straight fall in love with another woman; asexuals decide they're demisexual when they fall in love with somebody and discover that deep emotional connections can turn them on. I thought I was asexual-aromantic until I first made friends... now I'm open to platonic romance, though I haven't yet experienced it. So, sometimes the words we use for ourselves change because we change; sometimes they change because we learn more about what we were like all along. Either one is okay.

Maybe you're gay. Maybe you're bi. Maybe your sexual orientation compass will keep spinning and you'll change over time. But definitely.. who cares? It doesn't matter. Just like what you like & enjoy what you enjoy. Just look, or act on it and touch or experience things in your private life.. do whatever floats your boat like we're all free to do.

_________________
No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

[Moved from General Autism Discussion to LGBT Discussion]

I don't really have any answers but just some observations and tips: Sometimes, one knows one was attracted only when looking back, it happened to me at any rate. There's appreciating beauty - appreciating someone's physical beauty in essentially the same way you'd appreciate a beautiful landscape, and this does not imply being physically attracted to that person. When you notice a girl's physical beauty, is it like that (which I think happens all the time with straight women and/or in terms of "how did she achieve that look?"), or do you get "butterflies in your stomach," a little anxiety, or feel "strange"? If the latter, my guess is that there is a sexual component.
You mention having had fantasies mostly about boys but also one with your friend. If it's exciting to remember those fantasies, then I think it's more likely you are attracted, if you don't react much then it may have been a random thought or the product of wondering about your sexuality. You mention rejecting males who have approached you in a sexual way - in itself that could just mean you don't feel ready for that, you weren't attracted to them in particular, etc. Were they guys you'd (not other people, you) judge to be good looking, pleasant etc (in other words, would you expect a definitely-straight version of yourself to have been attracted)? Was it scary (did anxiety put you off, were you worried about gossip, etc)?
Of course, you could be bi, and if you're bi it doesn't mean you're equally attracted to both sexes.