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Pietus
Tufted Titmouse
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21 Jul 2014, 8:38 pm

So, being someone on the spectrum, I struggle with finding....the right moments to tell people things. I don't want to just blurt "I'm gay" out during dinner or something.

What would be a good way of going about it? In the car driving somewhere? Or should I ask my parents to sit down, then explain it to them at home? I'm not too happy about that option, since I imagine it might be quite awkward, and then I would just awkwardly walk away. Seems....strange.

But I digress, when/where did anyone here come out to their family, was it a good or bad choice of time and location?

Cheers,



fossil_n
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21 Jul 2014, 8:59 pm

Don't do it in the car unless you are 100% confident your parents will be completely chill - it is not really safe to distract them like that :)

Sitting them down and telling them is, I think, usually a good idea. Instead of just telling them and walking away, invite them to ask you questions (they probably will anyway whether you invite them to or not). That is what I did for my mom (not out yet to my dad). What I did was bring up gay marriage (easy because it is always in the news nowadays) and said this is important to me because . . . and came out that way.

You probably could tell them at dinner.



yournamehere
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21 Jul 2014, 10:15 pm

You probably don't have to say anything. Unless you turned gay yesterday, they probably already know.



AspieUtah
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22 Jul 2014, 9:15 am

Don't make your telling them too contrived. You don't want to remember telling your family (and friends) as a convoluted machination. Just make it a friendly comment ("Hey, did you read that Australian Olympian Ian Thorpe says he's gay? Yeah? He's my newest gay hero. Why? Well...,").


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goldfish21
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24 Jul 2014, 12:16 am

At home sitting around a patio table after dinner w/ my parents and one of my brothers.. after a couple of bottles of wine.

It went fine. I don't think the setting/time/place etc really makes any difference. Either they're going to react positively, neutrally, or negatively - and however they react, it is what it is. Just accept it and move forward. I guess if you're truly anticipating a negative reaction you might not want to do it in certain settings so they don't make a scene in public or something.. or maybe it'd be better to be in a public place so they can't make a scene because they won't want to draw attention to themselves or the situation.. depends on the parents.. you should know their temperament well enough to guess how they'll react. Other than that, I don't really think that the setting really has much influence on the outcome of coming out.


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d057
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28 Jul 2014, 6:43 pm

Don't do it in a car, that might not be very safe! I was too scared to come out face to face, so I wrote a blog post where I explained how scary it was for me and told them the truth. Luckily, they were very supportive of me!


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AstroGeek
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29 Jul 2014, 4:57 pm

Well, I actually did come out to my mom driving in the car. (She was driving me home from a rehearsal for my high school's annual musical--looking back that seems rather appropriate...) That said, I knew she'd be totally fine with it, as her brother is gay. In the end I didn't have to tell my dad because my mom told him (although I wish she could have waited until I'd decided whether or not I had the courage to do it myself). I guess the only thing I'd say is that no matter how you tell them it will still be awkward. Even when I let new people know today (more than three years on) I can find it a little awkward.