Probably not going to get the surgery, for now

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I'm currently in appeal for denial of sex reassignment surgery by my employer's insurance, but my mental state has dwindled precipitously after the initial denial. I don't even know if I can keep this job. I might have to go onto disability.

Surgery is unfortunately probably not in the cards for a long time. That means that my forbidden area will remain, I would be housed with men if I get hospitalized or something, and I will be forever ruing my fate.