A very confusing moment of my life

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Ok, let me try to be clear on this by talking a little about myself first.
I, like most aspies, lived during most of my life alone. I was always happy in my room playing some game, doing some research on a interesting subject, watching a movie/serie or just reading, but the most important is that I was completely happy doing this.
I don't want to make this too long, so, to summarize, things started to change last year. I was having some sudden moments of feeling lonely and wanting someone to spent some time with and after a while I understood that I wasn't just seeking friends, I wanted someone to have a relationship with.
Those subtle moments of "I want a girlfriend" were always under control and I could easily forget them by playing a game or by going to the cinema, but those episodes were becoming more frequent and stronger as time passed by.
Now, skipping some not very important stuff, six months ago I decided to create a profile on those dating apps (I had chosen Tinder and OkCupid) just to see how I would perform if I try it and because the chances of me going out to met people in real life first were nonexistent.
The first few days were extremely uncomfortable for me because I wasn't used to talk with girls in a way like that, but there was something else bothering me: Whenever I had a match I would start a conversation, we would talk for a while but the conversation would never last for too long. I understand that I was never good in taking the initiation on those kind of things and during most of my life I only had natural conversations if my special interests were somehow involved but it wasn't just that. I wasn't as excited as I thought I would be and even when the conversations ended I never felt truly sad or disappointed because I was actually kinda bored.
After an entire month of feeling extremely frustrated and disappointed without knowing for sure why, a movie brought something new to my head: What if I'm not interested in girls? What if I am so bored because, despite the image of a relationship that exists in my head, that's not what I really want?
Then... another conflict started. This time one of the most confused and hard to deal moments of my life were happening and to the point of interfering with my grades in university and my performance in my job.
Right now I'm still brutally confused.
Thoughts like: Well, if I was gay I would have known this by now right? I'm 21, by the way. And what about those two crushes that I've had for girls when I was at high school?
I think about it and feel in doubt because I don't think I was sexually attracted to them. IIRC they were the only two girls that I've met in real life that liked the same stuff as me (like games and sci fi), so that might be the reason? Please, help me understand this.
So, two weeks ago I decided to make my profiles on both apps work as "bi" for me to be able to see and be seen by other guys and things worked... Differently.
I'm not sure about how to explain this, but since I was twice as nervous as I initially was to talk to girls, I thought it would be worse and that soon I would just feel ashamed for the stupid idea that I had. But it wasn't worse. I don't know if it is because I'm not so pressured to make all the moves like with the girls that I've talked to but things are far more natural and easier than before.
So I just want to have some insight on how I should deal with this kind of situation.
Am I gay? There's any way to be 100% sure? Is it possible that I'm just very very lonely right now? Or that the reason it feels so natural is just because the other guys are making the first move? Should I try to get better with girls to see if things works first?
This is something very uncomfortable for me to talk about and sorry if the text is a mess and hard to understand. Is because I am in this exact same way right now, but I will be happy to read any kind of opinion about this. Thanks.

Take it slowly, make sure if you meet anyone it's in a safe place like a coffee shop. Just relax; I know it's not easy and at 21 it can be difficult indeed to navigate possible relationships or meetings.

Because it's the "done" thing I tried to date girls over several years but it was not comfortable for me as I always had feelings for guys and considered them attractive. I found girls attractive in a different, non-sexual way. The dates with these girls were once off dates done from a sense of duty almost.

Eventually I realized I couldn't live a lie and began seeking out gay experiences. After some years of this at age 33 I met my soul mate. We just clicked on so many levels. At the time we met he was in another relationship but not really happy in it. This was 19 years ago. After a bit of a fight with his b/f he drove 90 km to my place one evening and moved in! (we had discussed getting together and when it happened it was great.)

Today we are still in a relationship and in daily telephonic contact despite being forced by current circumstances to live in separate cities at a great distance from each other. But I always feel comfortable when with him and we have a wonderful relationship. I am certain that he's also on the autism / asperger spectrum as he hates noisy parties, office team building socials, loud noises, crowds and "popular culture" and likes giving his full attention to solving problems on computers, his dogs and so on.)

I didn't always feel comfortable with the guys I met at first and it was just the physical aspect I was trying to experience.

You are on a path of discovery and in time you will know whether you're straight, gay or bi. (these feelings can also vary and not set in stone.)

Do you feel turned on by seeing scantily clad guys at the beach or sport field with their bare chests and legs or do you look more at the bikini clad girls?

It's quite natural to feel confused at 21 and I have been there. Best of luck to you with your dating profiles and just enjoy it and play safe when you meet up. (I'm not referring necessarily to any sexual encounter at the first meet up just that you feel comfortable in each others' presence.)

Hope this helps.

Thank you for your wise response envirozentinel, it truly helps to read any kind of insight about this.
A lot of things have been changing in me since last year and right now I'm a little overwhelmed by how they are finally impacting "externally" in my life.
I'm a lot like you when you say about how you admire the beauty on girls, because I always did the same.
When I was younger I just presumed that my admiration for both sex were equal and it probably confused me more because: Thinking sexually about girls wasn't something that simply happened and about boys, well... If the thought barely crossed my mind I would defensively push it away immediately because for me it wasn't right. The more I think about it the more I see how I've been unnaturally defensive about this during my whole life, even without noticing.

I'm glad to have been some help andrejake, please feel free to PM me if you need any advice or assistance. Keep me updated on your progress!

I can indeed appreciate a girl's beauty but don't feel anything sexually because I'm just not wired to be straight.

Nowadays there's no stigma attached to having sexual feelings aroused by guys.

This might sound kinda derpy, but my own thought on this is that you should just sorta roll with it; just go along with the idea, leave it be for awhile instead of pondering it too much, and just see where it leads you. If it does indeed lead you anywhere.

I went through a similar bit of confusion years ago. I'd not really been too interested in girls back in highschool and such. Just didnt care. And this persisted throughout college.

So one day, I decided to look up some photos. Naked guys. I pretty quickly found this to be big time arousing. I agonized over this for about 3 days, until deciding that pondering too much was boring and annoying, so I started to just roll with it.

....until I realized something about those that I was looking at. I myself am kinda androgynous/feminine in appearance. Not on purpose mind you. And people tend to think I look that way even if I'm naked (I do nude photos on the net, so I've gotten that response kinda often). And suddenly I realized, these guys that I was particularly attracted to all had those very same traits in terms of their appearance. Boy, was I confused by this. Was I enjoying them only because they were similar to myself? And if so, how does that even make sense? Or was I enjoying them maybe because they're girly enough for them to not FULLY be seen as male by me in some way, without entirely realizing it? But if that's the case, why the lack of attraction to girls? Any reason I thought of seemed to be kinda screwy, and I couldnt quite figure out just what it meant in terms of my possible sexuality. Was I gay? Or was I not? It was... confusing.

Eventually I looked at some penis photos and found that I liked those a lot, so that did eventually end some of the confusion... but every now and then, even these days I'll wonder about it a bit.

And it's occurred to me that in a general sense, sexual orientation itself can just be.... confusing, for lots of people. But I really honestly found that just going along with it anyway, and accepting that I like whatever I happen to like, really just was... so much easier. And to heck with what anyone else thought of it. And also to heck with it being a bit confusing.

....yeah, I dunno if any of that is helpful, but that's my own viewpoint on this sort of thing. I just think it's easy for someone to spend enough time worrying about it that they cant then ENJOY any of it at all.

Thank you again, envirozentinel. I'll surely update you about this!

And Misery, very nice answer.
I'm in fact intending to do something among the lines of what you said.
I have a long history of overthinking things and turning what should be done naturally into stormy moments and hard decisions, and this might be one of these cases.
I'm still confused about the idea but I'm already feeling more comfortable to give it a try. So I'll just let things happen without rushing through anything and see where it leads me.
I'll probably accept an invitation for a cinema that a really nice guy made to me, I just need some more time to get my mind more prepared for the idea and I will finally try it.

Don't be disheartened by the lack of interest from girls on dating sites. They get bombarded with messages. I'm a lesbian, but I made a fake Okcupid profile (only for one night) just to see what it was like for straight girls. -I had over 70 guys look at my profile within the first hour and twenty message me. You'd really have to stand out to keep a girl's attention on there.

If you like guys, that's awesome. Always celebrate who you are. In terms of wanting a 100% definition, that's near impossible. Sexuality is such a fluid thing. Once you start talking to people in the queer community you'll find it's very common for people to reconsider their "label." It's completely okay to change it as you feel appropriate. Some bi/pan people might be more into guys for a few years, then more in girls. It all changes. That's why there are so many "labels" because people are trying to get ones that fit. But people aren't black and white. We don't tend to fit into boxes. If you feel you need one, (I personally find labels helpful as it's some solid form of identity to cling to) then pick the one you think fits best right now. You can always change it later. The most important thing is just to be YOU. Before any other adjective, you are always you.