Help with clothing please?

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Hello everyone, how are you today? Well I hope. Happy new year by the way.

As a start to the new year I decided I'd get some more clothes that would make me feel good but I need some help (and perhaps this would help other too). Now the problem is I'm non binary or genderqueer/fluid male bodied person and see physical comfort as the most important thing with looks being the second (though still pretty important) when it comes to clothes.

So the thing is I don't want to dress in purely a feminine way nor a purely masculine way, at least not all the time. So my request might seem odd or be a little difficult to help with.

The thing I dislike about clothes made for male bodied people is that they're all dark, messy, traditional, "tough" looking etc and I've been told that clothes made for female bodied people are uncomfortable but look nice (by females).

So I was wondering if there were places I could find clothes from underwear upwards that both was comfortable for a male bodied person like myself but also looked good as well, cute might be another word to use instead. If you need examples of what I mean about things being messy, dark or cute etc I can provide pictures (nothing untoward just clothing websites).

This is going to be the year I start making me happy and find my genderqueer self in clothing. I hope y'all can help. Thanks.

-I.P.

Try 2nd hand clothes stores such as Savers, Salvation Army or Goodwill.

Clothes sizes are only approximate. Women's sizes are roughly one size smaller--a Men's XS is a Women's S.

Once your get a handle on what fits, you might try looking for what you want on Ebay.

It may help to hire a tailor to make clothes fit better.

I'm still a bit wary about shopping in real life for those kind of clothes. But thank you, I will try that.

In my searches, I did manage to find this: Playout Underwear. It's gender-neutral underwear (bottom only).

In about a month guys will be buying sexy clothes for the opposite sex--Valentines day--might keep that in mind.

Most small shop owners would be delighted to help you out. Seriously--its not easy to stay in business.

That's an excellent point BTDT! Thanks

What about shopping various underwear brands marketed to gay guys? Some "cute" underwear out there for guys. As for "cute" pants/shirts, hmm, I dunno - depends on your body type/shape. I doubt you'd really be able to go to a "cute clothes" shop and find a bunch of stuff you liked. I think you just have to keep an eye out when you're shopping/online for things that catch your eye here and there.

Oh, I didn't know those existed. I have a lot to learn

Not sure if this will help, but I've found hooded sweatshirts good for disguising body shape while being comfortable, and I've always thought of them as gender neutral (could be personal opinion). Granted, they aren't practical for year-round wear. Personally, I've been wearing chainmail armor under mine as practice for a ren faire (it weighs a good bit) and nobody suspects.

Go with a friend. I recently decided to buy some dresses (I'm a loosely-cisgender male, but hey, I like to look and feel nice every now and then, yeah?) and I took a friend to hit up the thrift stores. The first store we went to, I was really apprehensive and shy about browsing through and trying on any of the women's clothing, but by the last store, I was already off browsing on my own with no inhibitions at all. I surprised even myself.

But yeah, I'd also recommend thrift stores, if only for the prices.

Even if you can afford it, I'd start of with cheap thrift store clothes--because you really won't know what you like. You might not even be able to tell what is comfortable--due to the anxiety issues--but it you buy cheap stuff at the start that won't matter--just the cost of learning to properly dress yourself.

You might also go shopping when the store first opens--usually much less crowded than later in the day.

Unfortunately I have no real life friends. I find it difficult to keep them, not necessarily because of anything I do (though it may be) but because of circumstance, I've moved from place to place and thus often not seen or heard from them again, I also don't do social media since it's very superficial and even there I eventually get into trouble.

Anyway, thank you for your suggestion .I'll try some thrift stores, although here we call them charity shops.

You mean hoodies, yeah? I love hoodies, they are so comfortable and they look good and as you say hide body shape, which until I get into shape, I need. Even then I think I would need them to stay warm and feel comfortable.

Ren faires sound interesting, I've known quite a few people that go to them.

Thank you for the advice, it's a good point about learning since I have no one to teach me really, my family doesn't really accept my gender so I couldn't go to any of my siblings for help. My mum, maybe, but she can get a bit shocked and worried.

A pair of jeans and a hoodie a pretty gender, and age neutral...

I classify myself as a relatively new term. A crossdreamer. I live my life as a male, but I like to dress "girly". I just feel nice in ladies underwear. Try Lane Bryant. I don't know if they have a store near you, but I went there recently with a female friend, on a weekday. Barely anyone there. Nice selection. I could see myself there again in the future. But like other people have said, try charity shops.