Interesting cd/trans gay guy

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Not really sure where I'm going with this. I just thought it was too interesting not to share here. I guess we'll see by the end of my post where I've gone with it lol.

So there's this gay guy that caught my eye on a dating site. I messaged him there, he never responded. (I don't think I'm his type.) Weeks later I see him on a gay chat app on my phone & message him there. We exchange a bit of friendly chat. Over a period of a few weeks I chat with him a few times - "what's up, how's it going" kind of chat.

Then I see he posted a personal ad on another site, so, being a smartass I reply to the ad as well as message him on the phone app as he was also online there - he didn't respond.

Then a few days later I'm browsing personal ads and I'm clicking all sorts of ad titles I'm not really interested in, just out of curiosity.. one of which was for a cd/trans guy. I look at the pics quickly and scroll through the ad and was about to click back on my browser when something caught my eye about one of the pics.. I recognized something in the background. I went back and found the older ad he'd posted and confirmed that one of the same photos was in both ads. Ho-ly s**t.. he was hardly recognizable w/ a wig & some makeup. I'm not attracted to trans girls, but I'll admit he did make a pretty good looking girl.

So, I hop onto the live chat app on my phone and see that he's online and message him.. told him he was almost unrecognizable with a wig and some makeup. He replies with a lol and we have a chat. He told me that he was made fun of so much by other gay guys for being "too gay and girly" that it messed him up and made him a bit of a trans boy. He also said he was made fun of for being ugly and feels ugly as a boy. He said he wants to leave that part of him behind and move on from it (the whole girl dressing thing) and acknowledged that it'll take some time to overcome his own negative thoughts of himself. He also said the way he was treated has left him feeling sexually unattractive as a guy and that he almost can't have sex at all as a guy anymore because of it.

I haven't met this guy and I don't know if I ever will because I don't think I'm his type, but I do find him very interesting and kinda wanna meet him just for the sake of meeting him and seeing how he is in person even if we're not a match. I want to see if he's overly feminine in person, or if he's just been convinced by some hurtful as*holes that he is.

And here's the kicker: He's not ugly. At all. As a young-mid 20's gay guy, he is (IMO), VERY cute. He's a cute blonde boy-next-door almost model good looks kind of guy. Its really quite strange to me that he's convinced he's unattractive. I've told him so. I've told him a few times over the last couple days of innocent chatting on the app when I see him online that I do in fact think he's good looking even if he doesn't. Like I said, I don't think I'm his type, but he's at least politely replying to my messages & will carry on short conversations with me. I don't know what it is about this guy, but I just kinda feel for him. I told him I wanted to just cuddle & hold him so he could feel as good as I think he looks - in part because that's true, and in part because I think he needs to hear these sorts of truths about him from others' perspectives vs. believing his own negative thoughts. Like I said, I'm not attracted to t-gurls, just not my thing, but there's just something about this guy that makes me just want to hug him and make him feel whole.

Have you ever heard of anything like this? Someone being bullied into becoming a cd/trans-feeling gay boy? It's the first time I've ever heard of this and it's made me wonder if there are other cd's/trans guys out there that identify with their feminine roles because of being bullied like that. He can't be the only one.. but definitely the first I've ever heard of.

I dunno if it'll go anywhere at all in terms of meeting him in real life or becoming real life friends with him. For now I'm going to try not to pester him with telling him I think he's cute and will just send him a message here and there for some basic friendly chat and just chat so long as he responds. Then if he's ever down for meeting, who knows, maybe we'll go for a coffee or a beer or something and I'll get an opportunity to see what he's like in real life. I'm quite curious to see if his mannerisms/voice/behaviours etc as a guy are really "gay" or "girly." Even if they are, it doesn't justify the bullying he received for it - which is another bizarre thing... a group of gay guys, an obviously targetable minority group, picking on someone within their own community like that. WTF? Jerks. I hope that my simple messages to him make him think a little clearer about himself and feel a little better about just Being Free to be himself however he is, even if it is as a more feminine gay guy. Even if he never replies to another message, I've at least taken the opportunity to say those sorts of things to him already and while he didn't respond to them I do hope it makes him think better of himself.

Hmm, I cant say I've heard of that exact sort of thing happening... being bullied into that state and such. It's possible that perhaps those comments and insults pushed him towards something that he would have eventually ended up doing anyway. I sorta kinda had that one happen... it wasnt actually by insults, (well, okay, a few times) but based on my normal appearance, people tend to find me girly looking or feminine or androgynous or however you want to put it; I've heard all 3. There's plenty that I can tell think this is a good thing, though of course there's others that dont, and when I really think about it, these comments had sorta caused me to question myself in an overall sense... thus I end up down the path that I am. But I think I woulda ended up there ANYWAY even without that, but it would have taken longer for me to latch onto by myself.

As for him thinking he's ugly, ahh, that one I can sympathize with... it's easy to get that sort of belief that you look ugly/bad/whatever, even if it's not at all true. Been there, done that, still do it sometimes. We're all our own worst critics, I once heard someone say, and I can believe that.

I can relate to this. There have been times in my past where I thought I was ugly/unattractive and all that. Then there have been recent times where I've been complimented on my appearance and referred to as being from Amerbcrombie & Fitch as if I had fashion model good looks. I completely get how one can feel unattractive yet others find them attractive. But I haven't thought so negatively of myself in years, just not so positively - more neutral. Also, chatting with ppl on dating apps.. some aren't attracted to me, I'm not their type (that's fine) but others who are into me have called me Hot. It's all a matter of personal preference, I get that.