Does this sound about right for stages of gay life?

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I'm 32 and have been thinking quite a bit lately about my personal life. I'm at the point where I'd rather have less of a sex life and more of a dating life, I guess you could say. It's all too easy to hookup with other guys when I want to, but over the years, and especially in recent times.. it's almost become boring. It's like "meh," "yawn," "ok whatever," and I find myself thinking about how I really should focus my efforts on finding someone compatible to date vs. hookup with, and eventually find the right partner in crime to add into my life.

I've read before that this is a fairly common thing for gay guys going through the stages of gay life. Does that make sense to others?

I suspect this is fairly normal. I can't comment from personal experience though--I seem to have skipped right to the stage of wanting to find a partner.

Heh

I've read some articles about this very stuff, as well as personal advice columnists take on it, and have had some email conversations about it with others in the past. I think it's kind of the norm for many gay guys.

I suppose I wasn't the find a partner type in my younger years because I remained closeted about it. That's probably the biggest reason.

Instead I've lived the life of Brian.. no, not Monty Python.. more like Brian from Queer as Folk.

But at this stage, with some really cool gay friends in my life I've learned a lot from vs. just friends with benefits/hookups, I'm feeling a lot more like finding someone to date & eventually have a long term relationship with. I guess I was just posting to see if others have had similar experiences they want to share about, or advice to offer etc.

Um, if you're able to find hook-ups so easily how come it's hard to connect with anyone if that's what you want?

I personally found that if I happened to be into the elderly that... I'd have lots of options, but as I'm not it's not quite as hard as finding love, but not quite as easy as you seem to imply it is.

So... assuming you're hooking-up with guys you're into why couldn't you try to similarly make a connection instead?

I intentionally wasn't looking to date/have a relationship. In part because I've had a long time crush on a friend, but I know now that it's not going to be more than friendship, so I'm now open to the idea of meeting someone I connect with vs. intentionally avoiding it.

Also, I avoided dating because I didn't have my life together very well. Now I'm healthier, wealthier, fitter etc, so more open to the idea vs. avoiding it.

Annnnd while there have been a number of guys I've hooked up with, there are very very few I'd consider dating. There have been several that wanted to date me, but I wasn't interested in them. I'm very picky/selective I guess. A potential partner has to be the whole package from a specific look, age, build, personality etc. I've waited 32 years.. I can hold out until I find someone I want to date.

Your sentence about the elderly.. I'm not into elderly, either. Actually, I'm only into guys younger than me. Anyways, finding someone to hookup with has not been difficult for me. Like I said, life of Brian like.

That's the idea now.. try to make a connection instead. Just beginning to venture down this path now chatting with some like minded guys online to see if there's mutual attraction and go from there. Haven't really been too interested in hooking up with anyone recently - and heck, for quite some time now most hookups have been? boring. Because there's no real "feeling" to it. It feels.. kinda pointless. My entire perspective on this has shifted. Time to shift gears into finding someone to date vs. hookup with and see what happens.

I'm only 15 and therefore can't give advice xD

But first watch this: https://www.ted.com/talks/hannah_fry_th ... anguage=en

So you know how at the end she's got those bar graphs for each partner (at around 8:30 or so?)... Well... make a "quiz" like thing online (I like gotoquiz.com and qualtrics. You could even do one by hand, which is what I did). Write it so that the person who gets a 100% would meet every last one of your needs/desires. Fill out this quiz for each one of your potential partners, and you have a system of quantizing the suitability of each person, and thus utilize the optimal stopping theory!

Just a thought.

I'm 32. I am at the stage where I want a partner but I still enjoy hooking up. However, I would like to have a partner that didn't mind playing with others together. We would never mess around separately nor would we do this regularly. But if one night we're out and about and find someone we're BOTH having a good time with, I find nothing wrong in taking him home with us for some fun. It's a decision we make as a couple to do together.

My experience was similar to what you describe.

That was an apt summation of my hetero sex life, so it's probably a common blueprint. Priorities for partners change as our stage in life evolves.

First off, there is no 'normal' for this kind of thing, so whatever you find yourself doing/wanting is right and normal for you.
I'm also 32. I met my partner when I was 19 and he was 41. I did some hooking up with anonymous guys before that but no dating at all, and when we met, I wasn't really looking for either a hookup or a relationship. But you can't choose when you meet the love of your life, and when I met my partner it was sooo right. And it has continued to be right for the last twelve years. I could be totally ok with an open relationship where we both hooked up with other guys, and I do kind of miss all the 'wild oats' I didn't sow. If we weren't together anymore, I think I would go back to emotionless, anonymous hookups. This relationship is so great that I don't think I'll ever need another one for the rest of my life.

So I guess you could say I did mine sort of opposite to yours, and that is what was right for me.