Help finding a "mentor" type friend for a teen

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My youngest daughter's best friend for the past 5 years or so is biologically a female but for the past few years has been identifying, dressing and living as male, so I'll use the male pronouns here for him as I do normally. He's 19 now and I've known him since he and my daughter first hung out. He's been a regular here, just another one of the "kids at my house". He came out to his friends before his parents, which is probably usual but he came out to me long before he did to his mom, because he was afraid to but wanted an adult and a mom to talk to about things.

I supported him as well as I could and still do. He recently moved into our newly empty bedroom after both my son's have finally moved out for good. He comes from a big, religious family and has never had his own room. He's doing great here and he and my daughter are looking for jobs together because along with his cousin they are all three going to move into an apartment near the college they are going to attend together when they save some money. No problems on any front here, and his mom is dealing fairly well with everything, despite being from a very religious background in the Deep South.

Here is the thing. He knows a few gay people his age, but nobody else trans, and no older people. While I support him as well as I can and do the stand in mom thing just fine and his friends and cousin are supportive, there are some issues that he will need advice from some on the LGBT community on. He doesn't know any adults who are in his situation and that can leave a young person lost and aimless, to not have someone older who has been through what you're going though, to talk to.

I have some lesbian friends but they don't have time to chat with him occasionally, although they said they would love to if they could. My older daughter has a couple of friends also in their 20's who would if they had time too but there isn't anyone. I suggested a support group or a campus group for LGBT youth when they start school but he's VERY VERY SHY and won't go. He said he would like a mentor, an adult who has been through what he's going through to talk to, but what groups are there out there to help find him one? I don't know where else to ask, there used to be a LAMBDA hotline but it's not around anymore that I can find.

Until he can find someone local to connect with in real life and have these sorts of conversations, why not get him to sign up for an account here on WrongPlanet & post in the LGBT forum? There are quite a few trans people here from all over the place who would likely respond to posts, as well as the rest of us who are somewhere on the LGBT rainbow spectrum.

He's NT but extremely shy and doesn't have great social skills even though he has a good bit of friends, my daughter included. You have to get to know him before he talks. He also doesn't like conflict so I don't think he's ready for WP. He couldn't deal with all the infighting and he would think that people didn't like him. No self confidence at all. I'm working on his self confidence, he just needs to talk to an older person who has been through the things he's going through. No matter how similar anybody else situation is, a straight person's situation isn't going to have been the same as what a gay person's was. It could be similar but there is a different dynamic to it. I may have been lonely and without someone in my life because guys didn't like me and I had to find ways to make myself more likable, but he isn't around many LGBT kids and getting a straight girl to go out with him always turns out bad. He looks like a boy when he's wearing big shirts and he sounds like a boy and acts like a boy but he's not. So straight girls are a no for him right now. Some kids may have been mean to me when I was his age because of other reasons that may or may not have been justified but they were things that would change over time or become less important with age, while when the few kids and more than a few adults he knows are mean to him it's because of who he is which won't change over time. Also, there is stigma attached to being gay and trans even in this day and age. I do not know how to deal with that except to get mad over it and just love him more and cook something. There are issues particular to LGBT youth that nobody but LGBT people will have gone through. He needs that, but I don't think he could deal with WP. Not at all. Thank you though.

I do think I found somebody for him. One of the kids my daughter knows who used to hang out here a lot. She's sweet and loving and cares about people. She's about 24 and just graduated from college. I had talked to her before about it and she really wanted to mentor this kid but she didn't have time and she graduated recently and FB'd me tonight to tell me that she has time now. So it's a matter of getting her over to see my other daughter for an evening to celebrate graduation and then introducing her and letting them talk. I think this will work out great. This girl has always been out and learned how to deal with people about it and can help this kid. She's not trans but right now nobody is going to be that demanding.

I hear ya.

A few years ago I wasn't out at all. Then I met a guy guy who has become my closest friend. His example of how he lives his life changed mine. Now I'm planning a pride party at the bar I work at as a fundraiser for a youth homeless shelter where 40% of homeless kids age 16-24 are LGBT. I couldn't have made the steps in between if all I did was chat with others on a forum.

You may well have already tried this, but I just did a Google search for transgender youth resources and came up with some stuff. Here is a link:

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Link to Google Search
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I might pay special attention to resources shown on the websites for HRC and for GLAAD.

Thanks, but I've found somebody. The girl just graduated college and now has time to do this. They also know tons of the same people and have met before but never sat down and talked.

WrongPlanet is for anybody who feels they are on the "Wrong Planet."

Yeah, but this kid can't stand conflict and arguments. This would be the absolute worst place for him lol.

I would go with my instincts on this.

You know the person well.