NT dating an Aspie -- any suggestions/tips?

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ClayElectronica
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 28 Dec 2015
Age: 40
Posts: 1
Location: Virginia, USA

28 Dec 2015, 7:46 pm

So I kind of stumbled onto this site looking for information about people with Asperger's and issue that may come up with dating and relationships. Basically, we chatted a bit on OKCupid earlier in the year, but we basically forgot about each other and I sort of forgot about my profile until two weeks ago. He sent me a message, I gave him my phone number, and now we've been on two short (but satisfying) dates. :D

So far, so good! On the first date he said that was an Aspie, but I don't know if he's been formally diagnosed. I've had friends who were also, to varying degrees, plus I myself have issues with anxiety and depression, so I didn't consider it a problem. But I don't formally know that much about it, so I've come to seek advice here, if possible. Any experience that anyone has with things that can come up would be really, really welcome!



Mortemire
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

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Joined: 29 Dec 2015
Gender: Female
Posts: 42
Location: Norfolk

29 Dec 2015, 5:20 am

I wish I could give you advice. I'm too young.



Roach
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 1 Jan 2016
Age: 26
Posts: 43

02 Jan 2016, 11:34 am

The most important thing is to be understanding! Listen to him, what he needs. Every person with aspergers or autism is going to be different have have different needs - just like all people.

What I would think though, going on a general about autism, is to make sure that there is quiet spaces wherever you go out. Don't force him to go anywhere that he doesn't want to go, even if you don't understand the reason. Be honest and use straight forward language - people on the spectrum often take things literally. You may have to explain a joke or indicate when you were being sarcastic - please don't refuse to explain a joke bc you think that would ruin it. Also, try not to be too mad if he corrects you; many people on the spectrum correct compulsively.

But like I said, everyone is different. The most important part is openness and communication, like in any relationship.