Interested in a guy, but not sure if he's gay.

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There's a guy in one of my classes whom I kind of like, but I'm not positive that's he's gay/bi. He fits some of the stereotypes, e.g. he has a feminine appearance and a very high voice, but I don't want to ask him if he's gay and risk insulting him. Is there a way I can be more confident about knowing this without directly asking him?

See if you can discreetly overhear conversations between other members of the class, you might pick up some clues. And you could occasionally talk to him in a general way about work assignments etc. If he likes you too, he might drop a few hints, mention clubs he goes to, personal interests. Take things slowly and don't jump to conclusions; it's a slow process.

See, the problem with the second part of that is that I don't have any of those stereotypes; the few people who know my sexuality were surprised when I told them because I don't look or act like any of the stereotypical gay men. So even if he was interested in me, he probably wouldn't act on it because he'd likely assume I was straight.

He might prefer guys who don't look stereotypically gay; this is very common among gay men. People are often attracted to those who are different to themselves. Just give it a try.

I grew up in an era when LGBT people still had to initially be very careful in revealing they were queer/SSA. Compared to today, it was raised to a high art. Also, I had a lot of fem body traits that were misread so I got hit on a fair amount in my late teens and 20's. My scant knowledge:
Don't make all your references exclusively gay, but maybe drop some verbal hints that just open the door a crack & see if he follows up on any of them. It becomes a back and forth clarification. For instance:
- Any reference to [some gay celebrity in the news]
- Accidentally say "X-tube" instead of "YouTube" in a comment, then correct yourself.
- Just once touch him as you are talking to him. Like a hand on his arm or shoulder for just a moment.
- Give him some subtle visual indicator that you might be gay, like an Adam Lambert-as-Queen-front man T-shirt.

Basically you have to very subtly flirt - but without flirting. So one-shot's only, don't repeat yourself. Leave it so any one of them can be written off but if he's gay/bi he'll put them together pretty quickly.

And if all else fails, there's always the nuclear option. Walk up to him, start talking about plants or vegetable or such and say, "If I had a garden, I'd plant my tulips and your tulips together."
Technically, you won't be directly asking him. Also, once word gets around it's fairly likely some other gay or bi guy will approach *you*.

^ Yes, this is very nice, some very subtle details here. Softly softly ...

Ask a gay friend if the guy you like is gay. Gay people are good identifying that.

Wow, that's great advice. I'll have to try some of that. Thanks!

As for the last post, I don't have any gay friends. I don't have any friends there at all, actually.

See if he's on Grindr, or manhunt.net, or pof, okcupid, tinder, or any other dating/hookup app. There are tons of apps and sites. Gotta check whichever ones are popular in your area. See if he's on any of them and if he indicates he's into guys - well, duh if he's on the gay specific ones. But anyways, that could be a pretty low key way to do some creeping of dating profiles for info.. might luck out and find he has a public profile that will tell you everything you want to know about him.

I have been in the same boat so many times. But being feminine isn’t always the sign of being gay – it’s certainly a stereotype….I’m Gay and very alpha in physical and vocal terms. I would try to make him a friend first. If you want him, or think you can get him, try and make friends with him first to build the conversation to construct the conclusion on your classmate’s sexuality. And if he turns out to be gay after you make friends with him… well, you’ll be his first choice for boyfriend. Ask him about the future and his interests to build up a picture, and then tell him about your interests and your aims in life. Try to be reserved with your sexual orientation towards him to prevent a social hiccup, but don’t be extremely bashful about the area of sexuality around him because you never know or get the answer you want. It’s a hard task, and I wish you all the best because it’s all about a fine balance in this area and it can go wrong, but let’s hope it goes very right for you. The Passion will give you confidence!

Thanks. Unfortunately, he appears to have a girlfriend now. So despite his mannerisms, appearance, and apparel, he's probably straight or bisexual. And if he's bisexual, he's taken anyway.

Such is life.. wasn't meant to be. Time to move on & be prepared for the next relationship opportunity that may present itself when you least expect it.