Last night's party.. post Pulse

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I wasn't going to go to this one, but after Pulse it was like "F fear, party like you're bulletproof!"

We didn't know if there would be a good turnout because of peoples' uneasiness/mourning etc. Usually there are 200+ tickets presold. There were 60. However, the turnout must have been around 200-250 people. It was really quite good & just the right amount of people in the space we had last nights pop-up party at. Many came from other clubs, some that were hosting Orlando fundraisers.

The vibe was very positive. People talked, danced, drank, had a blast. It was really super cool to see the cohesiveness and inclusiveness of the community really coming together. This whole thing is going to be a catalyst for change for sure.. and a lot of it very positive. People at the more underground parties I go to are already a lot less cliquey than at mainstream clubs, but last night was even better in the sense that so many more people were so much more open and friendly with each other. That's definitely a silver lining that's going to come of all of this whole mess.

Anyone else experience anything like this going out in your home town?

There probably is, but I am too scared to go to clubs or bars, not for fear of any shooting because I am a Canadian, but for social anxiety reasons. Glad to hear you had a good time though.

I dropped out of the LGBT scene years ago, because there was a big element of gays and lesbians that were anti-trans, and my wife is trans. People were really angry and hateful to us, and I really felt like I shouldn't have to fight for acceptance twice. This was when a lot of states were either pushing equal rights bills for LGBT through, or pushing anti-marriage bills through, and some gays felt that including trans in the laws would scuttle their chances. (this was in the United States). I found that in a lot of ways, my straight friends were more accepting of us than my gay (non-trans) friends, perhaps because they had no political investment in how trans rights affect their own.

I've thought about going back and trying again to connect with the LGBT community, since I'm sure things have changed a lot in 15 years, and it's pretty lonely out on our own. My wife has been the victim of hate crimes and discrimination several times, and my straight friends don't really "get it." All of this stuff with Orlando has really stirred up a lot of fear for us.

Thank you, for showing the world we are not going back into any closets.

In many places it is so, so much better now. 2007 or 2008 was, I think the turning point. First there was that awkward ENDA fight that pitted the 200+ groups in United ENDA against...HRC and Barney Frank. Then the mess in Maryland. But then the Barbara Walters 20/20 special happened and it was like this little spark in a bin of tinder. Slowly over the next five to seven years, our society was introduced to transgender children. Suddenly it wasn't about 'sex' anymore, but 'gender' and how it fits societal expectations or doesn't. Suddenly trans men went from being nearly invisible and accepted as quasi-lesbians (which had to hurt sometimes) to being highly visible men. Just men, with a modifier, sometimes. And trans people built up a very impressive body of court rulings that gay and lesbian law groups realized could be applied to them, too. Because they too are gender atypical, just in a more far more narrow fashion. Finally, when marriage equality became the law of the land suddenly national NPO's on both sides needed to find a new battle to keep those donations and salaries high, so they embraced trans equality (or in the case of the conservative groups, didn't).

So, yeah. There are holdouts like old school feminist lesbians but for the most part even they seem to (mostly) realize that by protecting trans people they are protecting the younger versions of themselves, too. And the anti-LGB trans people likewise seem to realize their anger is no longer needed so much any more.

But meanwhile, millennials and younger have grown up in a world where they could fact check everything, and one where they often learn more about who a person *is* than their public, social image, compared to prior generations. They are building an amazingly wonderfully inclusive world, btw. And, over the last 8 years so many parents of LGBT kids, teens and young adults have spoken out publicly about how they now celebrate their children.

I checked in with the local LGBTQI org where we used to live, as our daughter will be hitting puberty in a year when she goes off blockers. I can't even tell any more who is what or what is who. Maybe i'm just getting old(er!), but I think it's more because it just doesn't matter to them so much. They seem to support and love each other without having to have rigid identity boxes.

That's good to know. As much as I wave my cane and grumble at Millennials in my "get off my lawn, you damn kids" voice, they really have changed and challenged the way people look at old assumptions about race, sexual orientation, and gender, in a good way, with a level of acceptance and inclusion that we had not really even imagined or hoped for. Things that were deal-breakers in my youth are no big deal for them. So kudos to Millennials, (whippersnappers mumble mumble).

Weeeell, now, their taste in movies, now that's a bunch of garbage....no plot lines, no character development, just explosions and fight scenes! And their music - Autotune everywhere! Okay, thanks to Wendy Carlos, but still sounds like cr*p!

Aaaaahhhh, I feel better now.

< / totally facetious old-crone sarcasm >

I do what I can.

..and I might do a little more, too, if people think it's a good idea. A party friend and I discussed this at the party.. we thought it might be a good idea to volunteer as "hosts" or "chaperones" of sorts that anyone on the fence about coming out to one of these parties can contact in advance, meet, make plans to head out to the next party together etc just to put peoples' minds at ease if they're sketched out about coming out.

Not sure it's necessary or valuable yet, but I think it's a good idea to offer it up anyways.. I mean, chances are there are ALWAYS people on the fence about coming out to a party like these considering their very nature - they're certainly not for everyone, not for every gay guy etc if they're not particularly into the party/hookup scene etc buuuuut hypothetically speaking if there are people out there that have been thinking about attending one of these wild soirees & recent events makes them want to stay home, I'd gladly introduce them to the places & people just so they have the opportunity to have the same ridiculous fun we have.

There's a volunteer day (to do some minor renovations/painting etc) this week at the main art gallery party space and I might just run the idea by our chief party artist and see what he thinks of it. Even if no one takes us up on the offer I think it's a nice welcoming gesture.

This sounds like an excellent idea. I was talking with one of my friends after we went to Pride together, the weekend of the shooting. We were talking about our fear that young LGBTQ people or people who had never been to a Pride or a similar event would be afraid to come because of what had happened and would miss out on such a positive and affirming experience that they otherwise might've really benefited from.

Those people might feel a lot safer if they had a Pride/party 'veteran' with them. Or maybe even a whole group of people. At the very least it might help to assuage any anxiety they might be experiencing.