littlecatinthewindow wrote:
I spent years thinking I was straight, but last year I realised I was Asexual, but still romantically attracted to boys. In fact, maybe not even that anymore after what happened with my boyfriend. But I still have sort-of crushes on boys with long hair. It's just that whenever I get a crush on a boy, I don't have urges to do certain things with him. I'll never really understand sexual attraction even after what I've been through, because that was more one-sided.
As for my gender, well, I am a girl, I guess, but I'm a little bit confused at what I really am. I mean, sometimes I question why I'm a girl. It's how I was born. I don't mind being a girl and having the body of a girl and dressing like a girl and having a girl's name and being referred to as a girl, but I feel like my mind has no gender. I'm not sure how to explain it properly. Maybe it's like how you can decide whether an object is aimed at girls or boys or both/neither by choosing a specific colour for it.
I guess it could just be my over-active mind questioning why everything is how it is, like it usually does.
Every site and attribute of the human brain that is sex dimorphic (differently shaped/structured for men and women) actually charts out for each person somewhere on a spectrum of male-ness and female-ness. Over the population, each such attribute-spectrum charts out as two somewhat overlapping bell curves. It's only because we've been falsely taught that there is a pure sex/gender binary that we are shocked that there would be some fair number of people who are a spiky mix, or even neutral in some socially "important" aspect such as sexuality or even identity.
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“For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love.”
―Carl Sagan