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FalsettoTesla
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29 Apr 2012, 9:19 am

So. I'm trans, female to male, but I haven't really started my transition. I mean, I have a binder, and all my clothes are male. But I can't really start it properly until I'm not living with my mum - which will be in September - because she's very transphobic.

But the main point of this thread is, I want to change my gender on the site. But I feel a bit insincere doing so. Does anyone else have that problem?



JesseCat
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29 Apr 2012, 9:46 am

If you feel like you are male, and you are in transition to become so, and you want other people to perceive you as male, I say go ahead and change it.
I don't think it's insincere at all. Do what you think feels right.



John_lzhc
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01 May 2012, 5:21 am

Very few people change presentation for everything all at once, even if it wasn't things out of your control forcing you to put off rl transition, there's no reason you should feel bad changing a gender marker on an internet community so long as it's what you're comfortable with. I was going by male on every part of the internet for about a year before I (legally) changed my name in rl. I don't think it's insincere if it's what you really feel, and you shouldn't feel you owe anybody anything.

I'm going to stop there, because I could go on forever about sincerity and integrity and gender in a ciscentric world and 'owing people' your 'real' gender, I really could, but this is probably not the place.

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John, Lord of Zombie Hordes and Cats

(p.s. It can also useful to wave at reluctant friends and therapists/gatekeepers, like "but I'm [insert gender] at [the internet/youth group/friendship circle] and it's what feels right/better/best/ect". But really, just go with whatever feels more comfortable. I'm stopping, really.)


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TheRedKipper
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16 Mar 2013, 3:36 pm

If it makes it easier or if it feels right for you to do so then go ahead. I am a FTM and recently did the same.



Fnord
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16 Mar 2013, 3:45 pm

FalsettoTesla wrote:
... I want to change my gender on the site. But I feel a bit insincere doing so. Does anyone else have that problem?

Maybe you could go ahead and change the gender designation in your profile, and then include an explanation in your signature line ... ?

Or maybe just change the gender designation, and leave it at that ... ?



kouzoku
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16 Mar 2013, 5:38 pm

If you're male, then you're male. You don't need to justify it. :)



CSBurks
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16 Mar 2013, 8:51 pm

Just change...I don't think anyone is really going to mind it.



Dragoness
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17 Mar 2013, 12:09 pm

Go ahead! If you're a male, I don't think anyone on this site will have a problem referring to you as such - this is a pretty tolerant community.



TheBlueEyedAlien
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18 Mar 2013, 6:34 pm

I'm glad somebody made this server because I was thinking about doing the same thing. Huh, guess I'll go ahead and do so! :wink:


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Dragoness
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20 Mar 2013, 6:36 pm

TheBlueEyedAlien wrote:
I'm glad somebody made this server because I was thinking about doing the same thing. Huh, guess I'll go ahead and do so! :wink:


I see that you have done so.



TheBlueEyedAlien
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20 Mar 2013, 9:24 pm

Dragoness wrote:
TheBlueEyedAlien wrote:
I'm glad somebody made this server because I was thinking about doing the same thing. Huh, guess I'll go ahead and do so! :wink:


I see that you have done so.


Yes. Yes I have.


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KyokoSakura
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10 Apr 2016, 5:06 pm

Well i have a problem similar to this, except it's not anything to do with how i feel, i have literally incorrectly selected female and i can't find a way to change it back, any idea how i can change it to male?



TheAP
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10 Apr 2016, 5:24 pm

KyokoSakura wrote:
Well i have a problem similar to this, except it's not anything to do with how i feel, i have literally incorrectly selected female and i can't find a way to change it back, any idea how i can change it to male?

You can't right now, I'm sorry. Several members have their gender listed incorrectly because of this glitch.



Edenthiel
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11 Apr 2016, 12:59 am

When did Wrong Planet go the route of certain states (ahem, Tennessee, maybe soon to be Kansas) and make it impossible to change your official gender?

It's just a value in a database table. We have programming and database professionals as members. Too bad there isn't some way to put their skills to good use...


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zkydz
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18 Apr 2016, 2:16 pm

I say that if you identify with being male, then male you are.

Your internal identity didn't change before you made the decision to officially change.

Your internal identity didn't change as you make plans to move out.

Your internal identity won't change when you do move out.

The only change will be a few 'superficial' things that are all on the outside. That's why they are superficial.

If you identify as male, then an arbitrary date won't really change anything other than set an anniversary date. And, that may be important. Just do what feels right. We will not judge here.


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Kiprobalhato
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22 Apr 2016, 3:38 am

Edenthiel wrote:
It's just a value in a database table. We have programming and database professionals as members. Too bad there isn't some way to put their skills to good use...


a shame it is, indeed.

i bet the feeling it will remain this way until someone starts to give a sh**. we wee told custom rank would return soon.


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