Are you more open about your autism or your sexuality?

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Which are you more open about?
Autism 35%  35%  [ 16 ]
Sexuality 41%  41%  [ 19 ]
Equally open/closed about both 24%  24%  [ 11 ]
Total votes : 46

Grammar Geek
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26 May 2016, 10:20 pm

For me, I'm a lot more open about having Asperger's than I am about being bisexual, because it's obvious to people that there's something different about me in how I act, so I tell them I have Asperger's so they don't just think I'm weird. But I don't possess any of the stereotypes of being on the LGBT spectrum, so I see no reason to disclose it to people lest they judge me for it.



Jo_B1_Kenobi
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27 May 2016, 10:52 am

Grammar Geek wrote:
For me, I'm a lot more open about having Asperger's than I am about being bisexual, because it's obvious to people that there's something different about me in how I act, so I tell them I have Asperger's so they don't just think I'm weird. But I don't possess any of the stereotypes of being on the LGBT spectrum, so I see no reason to disclose it to people lest they judge me for it.


Same here, I tell people about the autism because it affects my everyday communication and social understanding. If they know I can get along with people easier generally. With the gay thing I tend not to tell people generally except close friends and family and folk in places like WP and follk who need to know for some reason like my GP. I don't want to be judged either and it still happens from time to time.

Just today in Sainsbury's (a UK grocery store) I was speaking to someone on customer service and she asked me name (I was borrowing a disability scooter). She asked if I was Miss or Mrs, I said I get called all sorts but Ms is what I've got officially because I'm divorced. She said that people don't use Ms much because others might think that they're lesbians. I asked if Ms was really associated with that gay women and she said yes and expressed how I probably wouldn't want people to think that. I felt the usual shame of being thought of as bad / horrible / unacceptable and couldn't tell her the truth. This is a classic example of why I find being open about my sexuality hard.


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LittleLu
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27 May 2016, 11:03 am

I'm actually more open about being lesbian because I've had some time to ease people up to it. As far as autism goes, I have not been officially diagnosed, and right now it's only rumored that I have it, and I haven't been aware of the possibility for more than a month or so now, so if my social awkwardness comes up I'll mention to people that my wife and I are investigating the possibility that I might be autistic, but I'm still hesitant about saying anything to anybody.


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27 May 2016, 6:55 pm

I'm more open about being gay because I have known about it longer and have gotten used to coming out. I just recently (half a year ago) came to the conclusion that I have Asperger's, so it's a new challenge.


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goldfish21
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27 May 2016, 10:17 pm

Being gay. But not out to everyone all the time everywhere - some people are just rude hateful bigoted people, sooo, since it's not glaringly obvious to most people that I'm gay I don't advertise it to some when it isn't relevant or may cause problems I don't feel like dealing with.

As for being on the spectrum, I have my symptoms quite well under control so it's not obvious to almost anyone that I'm on the spectrum. If I point out subtle things and educate people I could explain it to them, but I'd rather just blend in decently well and go about life. IF I were obviously on the spectrum, then disclosure might serve me well if I needed someone to cut me some slack or something. But I'm not, sooo, I tend to keep that to myself more than the being gay thing.


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lidsmichelle
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28 May 2016, 10:13 am

I'm far more forthcoming about my aspies. I did a foray into online dating, and after getting many terrifying messages from people because I'm ace, I stopped telling people. I'm also bi/pan on the romantic end, but that doesn't seem to bother people as much. There's something about being ace that seems to make people think they either have to explain to me how I'm wrong and confused, or even essentially threaten to "show me better" which I'm sure you get the implication.


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steve30
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29 May 2016, 4:25 am

Can't say I'm particularly open about either really. They are both things which I tend to keep to myself.



C2V
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29 May 2016, 5:55 am

I am not hugely open on either subject (or any subject really) but I'm more likely to mention autism, because it is a big problem for me when interacting. If I am going to be interacting with the person regularly or at more than a superficial level, I have sometimes mentioned it before they think anything worse of me.
I find people much more accepting of autism than my brand of queer anyway, and mentioning my sexual preference just makes them leap to all kinds of binary conclusions about what I "really" am.
I will talk about it as a topic to other queer people or those genuinely interested, but still won't do the yes-but-what-are-you-really thing.


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Frankie_J
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29 May 2016, 5:00 pm

I voted that I'd reveal my autism more than the fact I'm gay. Sometimes I mention having autism just to explain why I may be a particular way or why I might have trouble with something. But I would only mention if I felt the other person would be understanding of it.

When it comes to stuff to do with my personal life/relationships, I am very private and don't really reveal a lot unless someone outright asks me. When I was with my ex I was attending CBT for anxiety and they would ask me questions about my personal life. I would say the words "partner" and "they" instead of "girlfriend" or "she". I just don't necessarily think it's anyone's business unless I want to reveal it.

But with both you never really know how people will react. Some people are very accepting, and some don't have a clue or are outright bigots.



steve30
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01 Jun 2016, 10:17 am

Thinking about it, I probably mention my homosexuality more. I think a lot of people treat you differently when they find you have Autism/AS, whereas they don't if they find out you are homosexual.



thewheel
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01 Jun 2016, 6:04 pm

I'm not obviously either i don't think, so i don't get any spontaneous questions about it. And as well as being very private in general, I rarely initiate interaction unless for a specific purpose so it just simply doesn't come up. I don't really have a need to tell anyone either aspect. In fact there are even plenty of gay people i've seen at work, none of them know because they are not my type. My aspieness has caused problems at work, but i'd rather avoid saying it until necessary.


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JTheBoop
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03 Jun 2016, 1:55 pm

Oddly enough, it's kinda mixed between both. :lol:


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Leahcar
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05 Jun 2016, 8:52 am

Online, I'm open about both.
But in real life, I'm more open about autism. Probably because it's something I can't really hide (some people can kinda tell I have it due to my mannerisms), whereas it's easier to hide my homosexuality.


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BaronHarkonnen85
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09 Jun 2016, 8:56 pm

It depends on the person and my relationship to that person. I'm generally more open about my ASD. Especially with my family. I haven't really told any of them about being gay.

My parents wouldn't care, and I suspect they already know, but I don't see it as their business, and I don't have a close relationship with them anyway.


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CaptLasik
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15 Jun 2016, 9:59 pm

People make more inaccurate assumptions when they know I'm bisexual than when they know I'm autistic.


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Melle
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16 Jun 2016, 11:28 pm

I would say that I am pretty outspoken about both my neuro diversity and my sexual orientation. I am thirty six years old and I have never been married or had children. I live in a rural area and there is a noticeable reaction when people find out that I am not (and never was) married. I know that they are wondering if I am gay. I am bisexual but I get the distinct feeling that people in my area would find it unacceptable if I were open about it. Nowadays, I refrain from sexual activity all together, masturbation included. I have nerve damage from multiple sclerosis and experience burning pains throughout the left side of my body after I cum. I still enjoy talking and joking about sex though.
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