How can I dress and act more like a woman?

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ComputeThis
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10 Sep 2016, 3:04 pm

Hello I am a male adult I have been diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder when I was younger. I am posting this anonymously. I can get stuck on a lot of things. I know I want to feel and act like a woman, and I'm not sure if it's just a fixation from my autism. I feel that physical transition may make me very miserable, but on the other side, I want to feel authentic and have all issues related to tucking or issues like that eliminated. I don't know what I want to do. I wasn't born that way. I do want help from the community.



Chronos
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11 Sep 2016, 2:59 am

ComputeThis wrote:
Hello I am a male adult I have been diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder when I was younger. I am posting this anonymously. I can get stuck on a lot of things. I know I want to feel and act like a woman, and I'm not sure if it's just a fixation from my autism. I feel that physical transition may make me very miserable, but on the other side, I want to feel authentic and have all issues related to tucking or issues like that eliminated. I don't know what I want to do. I wasn't born that way. I do want help from the community.


I think perhaps you should speak to a therapist.



NeilM
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11 Sep 2016, 3:52 pm

My understanding is that presenting in feminine mode is one of the most common "favorite subjects" (I prefer that over "fixation") of male aspies. Possibly superceded only by an interest in the weather. At least it was in my case.

I recommend only that you ease up on the gas pedal and proceed more slowly, even methodically. I could be wrong but I gather you are just beginning this journey of feminine expression. There is a lot to learn and experience along the way so take your enjoyment, your fulfillment from the journey, not the destination. I understand your desire for authenticity, having nothing that would prevent you from passing, but deal with that when and if it becomes necessary. Be aware too that any surgical alteration to any of your parts is WAY down the line. You have many steps to take and many bridges to cross before you get to that point. Many if not most who present as female never have any surgery at all.

I recently realized that it was 20 years ago last month that I began my crossdressing journey, at the age of 44. Being married and holding down a job, I had to take it slow plus come up with a way to "come out" to my wife. If you are in a relationship, that is something else to bear in mind.

Talk to your therapist about it if you wish but if they are worth their salt, and are aware that this is indeed a ramification of ASD, all they can do is note that you are experiencing this need and explore it with you.

Godspeed sister! :wink:


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ComputeThis
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13 Sep 2016, 5:28 am

I doubt it's really possible for me to be transsexual. I don't physically feel any need to transition any way. But I would like to explore other things like growing out my hair, going by a female name, all this.



dossa
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13 Sep 2016, 9:12 am

Really, I would say if you feel like doing that, go for it. There's no harm in growing out your hair (unless work or something requires short hair) or changing up your wardrobe. Clothing can get expensive though, so I'd recommend a thrift store. They give good variety and no one really gets weirded out if you are a man browsing the women's section or a woman browsing the mans section. Further bonus, most of them (if they have a fitting room) do not have male and female fitting rooms apart, rather just one or two gender neutral rooms for trying items on. Not sure if that is how things are where you live, but it is in my location.

Have you ever browsed lgbtq specific forums? There are tons of them out there and many of them have sections that specifically discuss tips and tricks for what you are looking for here. It might be a better resource for you than this place. Not that people here won't have great ideas for you, but I think the other places would give you more responses, that's all. I don't think most people on one of those places would be mean to you or anything because you do not identify as trans. I would bet they would be more than happy to share helpful ideas with you so you could explore this further. The people I have known who are trans or do drag or whatever are always more than happy to share things they do and know about, anyway. One guy, ohhhh... you ask him one thing about makeup and he'd talk your ear off for an hour. Heh. I now know wayyy more than I ever needed to know about eyeliner.


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ComputeThis
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16 Sep 2016, 4:08 pm

On one of the LGBT forums I was on, I eventually was given a hard time by one of the people on the forum for having the analysis paralysis of thinking I'm trans or a cross-dresser.