Well, I can't see your age, being new here, maybe I'm missing it. Still, it sounds like you're fairly young and just becoming aware in the last year or two. This much I can say with assurance. How you feel, what attracts you and how you move on from here is dictated more by the decisions and choices you make right now than any you can make as you get older so make good choices. I won't pretend to dictate to you what good choices are. I know I made bad ones and now I'm sorry. Want more on that, I would open up but don't want to be pushy.
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41 out of 50 on Autism scale rating definitely Autistic traits