So confused

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Since for as long as I can remember I've never felt "right" in myself, it's something I've always felt and something that has affected me badly growing up. It's hard to explain exactly how I feel but I'd say it's not knowing who I am, which as you might imagine is so confusing to live with.

I believe - don't know for sure - that I am transgender mtf, but of course I can't be 100% sure of that. I could just be confused.

I've been this way for a long time. Now in early twenties and the confusion is so severe I can hardly breathe and anxiety is at an all the high.

I've come here to find help with this and to see if anyone else has been in this situation? What did you do or how did you find out whether you were transgender?

I find life hard enough with Aspergers but this along with it is just so confusing and frustrating.

Some people benefit from talking to a therapist about gender issues.
If you can't do that you may consider finding an online forum where you can anonymously post about yourself.
Preferably one that is moderated to protect the people posting.

Sometimes, just writing about your experiences will help.

Gender and sexuality are best regarded as separate entities. Some TGs are attracted to men. Some to women. And some are Bi.

Interestingly enough, most crossdressers are heterosexual males.

Good luck!

I am by no means an expert, or have a long line of experience of this sort of thing, but if you are questioning your gender, it can be as far as you are comfortable.

Since you have asked if anyone else has been in a similar situation. I had identified as a dude all my life, although not really the most masculine, and I guess that I felt different to the majority of how other guys were. About a year or two ago I started to think like maybe parts inside me felt feminine, a couple months ago I became invested to put a name to it, and although at first it felt a bit wonky I saw nonbinary as what might be a fit, and stuck between Bigender and genderfluid, at least for now.

I hear that a lot of people try out nonbinary, before deciding to go the full trans, as people went the full trans before sliding to nonbinary. Not that nonbinary isn't really a full trans thing either. I am not saying you have to go for one or the other, but you are valid in how you feel regardless. A healthy dose of looking up some memes from the trans community can be nice.

As for how I found out, well some healthy dose of leftube; Contrapoints, Philosophy Tube, Hbomberguy and others. Just kind of a lot learning.