Being Transgender and having Asperger the balance

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I am transgender I also have autism I've come across the struggle of making friends inside of the transgender community well also balancing out the fact that I have autism and difficulty communicating. I feel outcasted and it's really hard for me to talk about having Asperger's while also being transgender and having other issues my Trans friends cannot seem to understand my needs while my Asperger friends can't seem to understand my needs. So i decided to come here and hope to find support/help i'm at my last resort and i'm really hoping i find people who understand both ends and not only accept me but can listen to me without misunderstanding or getting upset because i point out facts.
I don't know how to balance this problem
and i was wondering what others may have done to help?

Hi,

I am both trans and an aspie. Transitioned some twenty years ago. MtF - surgery in Thailand also a long time ago And have been diagnosed as having Asperger's. Seem to fill all the current criteria for High Functioning Autism. Both trans and aspie diagnosis coming quite late in life. I am 73.

Never been driven by the biological imperative to procreate, this allied with an inability to relate to NT's has seen me spend most of my life wandering the globe. Always holding on to the belief that one more move will see me find somewhere where people are friendly. But it's never happened. It has only been in the last ten years that I have come to the realisation that it's not other people who are unfriendly. ! !!

I have often given thought to what I would have done differently if diagnosed twenty, thirty years prior, and in truth I have no idea. My inability to get on with people has been an intrinsic part of me, unchangeable. As to trying to balance? trans and aspie needs, don't think it's possible. Just have to learn to live with it. I have come to a belief that I wouldn't wish the combination on my worst enemy. It makes for an incredibly lonely and solitary life. I may have been born with an extremely high IQ, but would have happily traded that for being just normal.

Alison
PS. PM me if you would like to talk off-line.

the only community i've seen with open acceptance and trans autistics is tumblr extremists, but even that community has it's problems.

being trans is hard s**t, i've learned to look for other trans people first and then attempt to explain the autism as best you can and hope they understand.. good luck my dude

There's a lot of trans people out there with ASD and/or ADHD who will probably understand you better. A large proportion of the people in a trans support group I help run have some sort of neurodivergence.

I'm in the same boat. If you wanna talk to me you can. Otherwise there's always tumblr, and I've found the ASD LGBT community tends to be less overly political than the rest of the LGBT community.

I try to compartmentalize, as I don't see my autism issues and trans issues as being relevant to one another. In therapy/support settings I never even mention autism; I don't feel that it would add anything to the conversation, and I think I'm pretty good at NT-passing most of the time. Of course, I know this strategy might not work for everybody, but I think it's worked pretty well for me.