Autism Spectrum and Sexual Orientation

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I have heard that people on the autism spectrum tend to be more likely to identify as a sexual minorities (asexual, bisexual, etc.) than their neurotypical counterparts. As an LGBT aspie, I can attest to this claim (I'm speaking for myself). Are you an LGBT aspie? How do you feel about this claim? Do you have any sources supporting or challenging this claim?

I'm gay. I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome when I was about nine. I can see why people would make the claim that someone who is on the spectrum has the potential to become a sexual minority. I have often heard there is a link between gender dysphoria and Autism.

I am not sure how that would apply to Lesbian, Gay or Bisexual people. Then again, there are gay trans people too!

I'm asexual, possibly aromantic, and definitely not straight. I think the claim may be true, but I can't remember any statistics off the top of my head. I don't know why it might be, either.

From what I've read the main difference isn't with most forms of sexual orientation, it is simply much higher levels of asexuality.

Proud Twainbow ( https://www.twainbow.org ) here!

I first learned of the overlap between the autism and LGBT spectrums in 2015 at the IMfAR International Meeting for Autism Research conference. About 10-percent of each group overlap with the other group.

But, I haven't seen very many LGBT responses to the idea. In my experience, LGBT individuals (especially as a collective) can be hostile to all sorts of disabilities and differences despite their repetition of being a "diverse and inclusive" community. No? Go to a local LGBT bar or event this weekend, and count the number of patrons in wheelchairs. See what I mean?

Diverse and inclusive? Yeah ... sure.

For me, I think that being asexual is related. My view of sex, intimacy, and touch seem to be related to how I see people and interact with them in general. Sex is interesting to me, but isn't actually something I want to take part in with another human being. I love to learn all about sexuality, I don't mind thinking about other people having sex and I am definitely sex-positive, but I just don't have a desire to participate myself.

Coming out as gay before I came out as asexual on the other hand, I don't think is related at all. I think that is just a matter of being pan-(dimi)-romantic. I don't see my openness to dating men or women as being related at all... but the fact that I am not incredibly motivated to seek out a romantic relationship I think is related.

My journey related to gender is definitely tied to my journey related to autism. I relate much more with female-gendered aspies than male aspies. My symptoms and my presentation of symptoms, and even some the difficulties I've had with diagnosis are all very similar to the female experience. However, part of why I don't present certain ways all the time just has to do with the fact that I don't really care about the world's view on my gender too much. I know on the inside who I am, and how much of that I choose and how much of that is natural. All of that is good enough for me.

I am asexual. I only engage in self-pleasure and do not require anyone else for sexual activities. I also am borderline aromantic. I do seek a partner, but prefer a more friendly or platonic relationship. For me, cuddling is sufficient as a form of love.

This was an an interesting read so I thought i'd post a reply here...

I'm pretty sure that I am straight but cannot be bothered with the hassle surrounding women and the dating game. I was diagnosed aspie as a child and would prefer to be in a relationship with a women. The trouble with dating as an aspie man is having to chat to multiple women in order to get somewhere, only to find out that they have better options (obviously, as my social skills are probably in the lower part of 20% of the population and women get off on a mans ability to use words to seduce them *bore*). So I basically just settle for ASexual the majority of the time. Truth be told, I find that one night stands are pretty poor and that I'd have more excitement on my own.

Interestingly, I do tend to start chatting to Bisexual/Lesbian women. Not so long ago, I ended up in a strange sexual relationship with a Lesbian, did she like my aspie charm? 'Dolly-birds' are certainly not my cup of tea and I tend to gravitate towards 'tomboys' or women with an eye for classic fashion! Make-up artists are unbelievably boring!

I can relate to a lot of this. Want to elaborate on your way of socializing/chatting to women? I tend to be pretty clinical a lot of the time and neglect small talk or emotional stuff or personal information. It might be partly caused by emotional inhibition, improper socialization, poor vocabulary related to that, etc, and partly just personality traits.

Just trying to get an idea of the different ways of how the autistic ways of interaction tend to differ from NTs, and which ways of interaction should be expected to be just personality traits and which are defects to be fixed.

I want to point something out, and I hope it doesn't come off as being critical or the identity nanny... but definitions for asexuality is a label that one would use if they lack sexual attraction. Someone who does still experience sexual attraction but doesn't seek out or engage in sexual activity is better described as "celibate".

Your identity labels are your own though, so if you still feel like asexuality describes you then feel free to use it. I mainly just want to point it out because it's an opportunity to contrast the meanings of the two words. (not just for you but also for others that might be reading along)

"Asexuality" is a definition of sexual preference identity regardless of behavior, while celibacy is behavioral (and frequently is a behavior of asexuals).

I'm another who's asexual. I've tried sexual stuff with three people and.....just no. It's not for me. I had attraction but that was about it. I wanted to be friends more than anything else and because those three people wanted more it was relationship over. The last one, I could have had the relationship of a lifetime but because I'm asexual it came to nothing. It's the one time I have hated being asexual.

So for me I've had more success with short term sexual partners through dating apps. Once on a date, it's pretty easy to find common ground and I normally end up cracking some sarcastic jokes if the company is good. A quiet pub garden or similar is nice, I hate those busy pubs with loud music where you can't hear a single word she's saying.

The problem for me is that I usually don't find instant attraction, it comes a little after meeting the person. It's like I seem to find 'quirks' and anomalies in a girl a big go go for me. For an example, I went on 5 or so dates with a girl who was really quirky. We would always end up drinking in beer gardens for more than 5 hours. I'm pretty sure she had NVLD and we really got on pretty well (maybe the alcohol helped!). Ultimately, she was unbelievably hard to read, she told me she was an aloof and that was the end of that.

If I'm on a date with a classic NT who's sending me all these morse code hints, I tend not to 'get' them until after the date and I recap on what a useless git I am when it comes to this stuff Or I will get the 'hint' a few seconds after I should have and then it's too late to take action on it, otherwise the girl will give me a weird look as if I'm slow or something (at least that's my take on it). I'll normally act a bit shy in those moments whilst thinking of something relevant to say... It's the girls that are pretty blatant that I can read easily, like running their hand on my leg, clear verbal gestures or gazing stare.. I do tend to throw in some small talk like talking about the weather, how was their journey to the pub, bla bla bla. I find it helps to feel relaxed in your company when you first meet and makes you come across as confident (keep conversation rolling!). But it does feel a bit forced.

In regards to Asexual, that was totally the wrong term to use, my apologies. I guess what I mean't to say is that I am attracted to women but not normally at first sight. I'll also loose interest in any women once I've been scorned by one (normally getting over-interested in my aspie hobbies or something).

Another thing is that trying to keep a girl 'interested' in casual sex is ridiculously difficult, it's like you need some kind of bible to say the right things, ask the right questions and wait a certain amount of time to reply to text messages. That's something I seem to struggle with, or is it the fact that women are bombarded with 10's of other men messaging them too? Probably the latter but I'm definitely not a pro.

Going back to the 'LGBT" topic from the start, I do tend to have a quirky way about me and have had girls think i'm gay before... One of my good guy friends is gay and I remember us asking a group of girls at a friends party which of us they thought was gay They pointed at me! He is an un-camp, tall black guy that you wouldn't normally think would be gay but it did make me wonder how i come across to women!

Sorry for the essay! Hope this helps

I've always been attracted to men and women and am not interested in strict monogamy. I feel like I'm part boy, part girl inside but I'm very happy with my female form. Maybe it's because I'm older, I don't know but I've never been big on labels. Or maybe it's because my sexuality is always changing so I would be labelled differently at different times in my life. My sexuality has always been the one area in my life where I approached it exactly the way I wanted too, not listening to society or anyone else. I knew I was different but I didn't care, and just accepted this part of myself and did what I wanted with who I wanted. Plus I think sex and exercise help to regulate my body better than anything else so I've always been a bit obsessed with them both.

Not a lot of men are attracted to me, but there have been a few. Women on the other hand love me and always seem to seek me out. Gay male tops always seem drawn to me too when I'm out dancing. I think I give off a different sort of vibe than most women do.

I am gay, transgender, and a possible aspie

I'm ok with this