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SamAckary
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25 Nov 2008, 4:25 pm

I swear at one point I thought I was bi, I liked both but now I really, really like two girls, I wish both of em were bi for *personal reasons* but I think I love them, I hate love, it pisses me off a lot, chooses those who will never go out with you, oh well, i'm never lonely, i couldn't really care less


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big_fat_phony
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25 Nov 2008, 5:39 pm

SamAckary wrote:
I swear at one point I thought I was bi, I liked both but now I really, really like two girls, I wish both of em were bi for *personal reasons* but I think I love them, I hate love, it pisses me off a lot, chooses those who will never go out with you, oh well, i'm never lonely, i couldn't really care less



Personal reasons :P... hmmm!! :P... just so you can have both of them eh!? :p

I'm not really lonely myself, but i'd still like to have a chat with more AS gays, cause maybe they struggle more... hmmm!



SamAckary
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25 Nov 2008, 5:59 pm

Slightly dirtier than that mate but otherwise you got it perfectly correct :P


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big_fat_phony
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25 Nov 2008, 6:05 pm

SamAckary wrote:
Slightly dirtier than that mate but otherwise you got it perfectly correct :P


Well, yes!!... i did mean both of them IN A BED... i didn't mean as in some sort of two gf's situation!! !



Mapler
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29 Nov 2008, 10:39 pm

I'm a gay guy with Asperger's. It feels like being gay is double the burden...

It's hard being me, I think I'm a little feminine but really quiet so nobody can tell. Ugh, I'm just pathetic. Currently trying to pursue an online relationship with a guy. =X

Life is hard.



big_fat_phony
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30 Nov 2008, 10:07 am

i'm not sure online relationships are the best, hmmm...

any more gay guys with Aspergers, or even lesbians :) x



Silva20contraorder
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30 Nov 2008, 11:33 am

Yerp im a gay aspie and its not easy when NTs seem to only want experimental relationships and I've not had that special first kiss either yet and I don't need a bf but it would be nice :)


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big_fat_phony
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30 Nov 2008, 12:59 pm

oooh they're all slowing coming out the woodwork now :) good stuff!

Well, the problem with gays generally is all they want is experimental things i guess!

Tho the right person is out there... i went out with a guy for 11months and i told him about my AS and it made things easier for both of us, though sadly it still ended, but these things do!...

hmmmm... x



WurdBendur
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30 Nov 2008, 6:51 pm

The first kiss is only special by definition. The actual experience is just one of wetness and wondering what to do with your lips.


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mystyc
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01 Dec 2008, 1:42 am

Yeah. There are additional burdens that existance likes to bestow upon Aspies, such as old age, ugliness, and socializing with a sub-culture whose identity is based on their sexuality....

I for one, have had bad experiences with the gay community. I have yet to meet a decent gay person in real life, but I have been hurt by plenty, and yet have not gotten anywhere! Brilliant! All the pain, and none of the pleasure.

At one point I was on the social networking site stickam.com, http://www.stickam.com/ . For those of you not familiar with it, it is like a facebook or myspace, but geared around communication through webcams and chat. For some reason there is a large LGBT community on there, though it is not at all geared towards gays. I used that some time ago to help develop certain social skills and stuff. Your not going to meet someone on there that lives near you and develop a relationship, but alot of people foolishly attempt long distance stuff through webcam to ridiculous extent. Also, I did meet a few aspies on there though.

It is a useful learning tool to communicate to someone in text, who replies with either video, audio, or both, or vice versa. Its a nice stepping stone from text chat socializing to real world socializing.



big_fat_phony
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01 Dec 2008, 4:43 am

mystyc wrote:


I for one, have had bad experiences with the gay community. I have yet to meet a decent gay person in real life, but I have been hurt by plenty, and yet have not gotten anywhere!
.


I'm a decent Gay!! :) :) haha

But yeah, stickam is alright, i think i tried to go on it once, i'm a bit shy with voices tho at first!

but people are welcome to give it a try, but yeah, long distance won't work too well, more so in a gay relationship!



mystyc
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01 Dec 2008, 4:34 pm

big_fat_phony wrote:
mystyc wrote:


I for one, have had bad experiences with the gay community. I have yet to meet a decent gay person in real life, but I have been hurt by plenty, and yet have not gotten anywhere!
.


I'm a decent Gay!! :) :) haha

But yeah, stickam is alright, i think i tried to go on it once, i'm a bit shy with voices tho at first!

but people are welcome to give it a try, but yeah, long distance won't work too well, more so in a gay relationship!


I mean gays I know in real life. I have "internet friends" that are gay that will give me the time of day, but internet friends are not like real friends. Gay people who meet me in the real world, stay away from me.



big_fat_phony
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01 Dec 2008, 6:46 pm

mystyc wrote:
big_fat_phony wrote:
mystyc wrote:



I mean gays I know in real life. I have "internet friends" that are gay that will give me the time of day, but internet friends are not like real friends. Gay people who meet me in the real world, stay away from me.


Why do they stay away from you!!?



donhz
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01 Dec 2008, 7:23 pm

Barce wrote:
I think Aspies MAY be more likely to experience greater confusion in regards to their sexual orientation over teenage years. For 2 years straight i thought i was homosexual and did things i regret. Now i realise i'm not.


I appreciate the honesty of your statement. It reminds us again that becoming a homosexual is a process of socialization, not genes or anything like that.

Some people can't give it up, so the homosexual lifestyle seems addictive to some also.



mystyc
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02 Dec 2008, 4:05 am

big_fat_phony wrote:
mystyc wrote:


I mean gays I know in real life. I have "internet friends" that are gay that will give me the time of day, but internet friends are not like real friends. Gay people who meet me in the real world, stay away from me.


Why do they stay away from you!!?


I don't know. Not like I smell or something... >.> But I am hypersensitive to water, but that was not the issue as I had that under control.

They don't stay away from me immediately. I should clarify that. After some initial encounters, any effort to further befriend them fails. Here are two examples:


EX1:
I have been trying to befriend the director of the LGBT center at my school (he was a former grad student and is actually 2 years younger than me, heh). He is friends with alot of people, including his student workers, and the members of the LGBT school organization. I regularly visited the LGBT center and tried to befriend other regulars. I spent months doing this, visiting several times a week. In september, a bunch of new students came in. Within a few weeks, several of the new students became close friends with the people I spent months working on.

In a sense, they tolerated me and of course did not kick me out of the center, but that was just their public face. They did not want me anywhere near them in their private lives.

EX2:
I met this gay guy that I thought was my first real close friend. We begun to actually hang out with each other (or so I thought). In reality, he merely let me tag along, if I asked. After a while, even if I asked or something, or we were out somewhere together, he would ditch me and stuff. Eventually he said that he did not want to babysit me due to my autism, and other hurtful things, and that was it.

I could not see it when it was happening, but in retrospect it was a familiar situation. It is the situation of people who allow me to tag along with them, but quickly regret ever meeting me, but are unable to get rid of me. They drop non-verbal social cues and stuff, knowing I have trouble with that (shows how much they care), until they get fed up and more directly state that they don't want me around. I used to call these types "fake friends", but that label is incomplete.


Those are the biggest examples, and involve an impression of being welcomed (which is why they were the most painful). But most of the time, there is no impression that I am welcomed.

I know gay people online that I talk to regularly, but they are only "internet friends". I also talk to non-gay people online as well, whom are also "internet friends". It is clear that almost none of these internet friendships are "strong" or comparable to real life friendships. Although straight people have done similar things to me, they are not all lumped together into one group defined by their sexuality. Usually I try to join some sort of a "group", but I am never really accepted, make some "fake friends", and move on. There are many such groups of straight people, with a few gays mixed in. But when it happens to a gay group, then that's it. The gays have rejected me.



big_fat_phony
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02 Dec 2008, 12:30 pm

awr, well then these people were no good...

the lgbt group seems the worst though, i mean those kind of groups should be accepting and such, they should not discriminate in any form. Gays can get quite offended if they are discriminated again, so why should it be acceptable to discriminate against aspies.

Do you have quite a stong form of AS?...good on you for telling people about it outright though...