Why do people think homosexuality is a choice?

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Being straight isn't a choice, so why is being gay optional? I don't understand it!

Short answer: because they're stupid.

Long answer: because embracing a gay lifestyle is a choice and I think that is what they mean. They can't seem to get their heads around the fact that these people will have the same sorts of desires they have and that it would be just as unpleasant to try to ignore them. Basically they can't understand something different from them (just like I don't understand how anyone could possibly vote Republican--just out of curiosity, can that be considered a choice that they can be blamed for) so they choose to blame it. Also, I find it far easier to understand heterosexual attraction because growing up I always assumed that I'd be straight and therefore focused on it anytime I was attracted to a girl. These homophobes would try to ignore any same sex attractions they might have had when growing up, so they can't understand it. Does that make any sense. But it still boils down to the fact that they are stupid.

That kind of thing makes me wonder why we're the ones who are supposed to have Theory of Mind and empathy issues. These things often seem like a problem for the general population.

I don't understand that, either.

A rather sizable percentage of the population feels uncomfortable if they aren't part of a group where everyone looks, acts, and believes the same. If they like the opposite sex, and most people like the opposite sex, it elicits an emotional reaction in them to know that some people among them like the same sex.

It's completely irrational, and usually consists of the people who crow the loudest about individuality and freedom.

I used to think it was a choice too until I learned it's how their minds are wired. Most of our minds are wired to like people who are the opposite gender but some people aren't wired that way. Some are wired to like their own gender.

But I was ignorant. Now I say "Do people choose to be straight?" or "Do you choose to be straight?" I guess I was once stupid.

As a traditional Christian who has a gay brother, I say there is a distinct difference between the orientation and the lifestyle. The orientation is not a choice; the lifestyle is. Just as some people are born with a propensity to alcoholism, or left-handedness, or what have you, they CAN live a lifestyle that is contrary to how they were made, however difficult and unnatural it may seem. Whether or not they SHOULD live that other lifestyle is a whole different can of worms I'm not trying to debate.

Define "lifestyle".

I was hoping not to have to, because if I state my honest opinions, it would offend people, and I don't want to do that.

I love my brother very much. Unlike other traditional Christians in my family, I have not shunned or disowned him, even though I have my beliefs.

For your statement to have any meaning, you'd need to.

Well that's refreshing to see, if nothing else.

At first I thought it was a choice to be gay. But that's because I didn't actually understand what homosexuality was, or what it meant. Someone actually tried to explain it to me at one point when I was a teenager, but I still didn't get it because I didn't really understand what heterosexuality was, either. Years later, I finally understood that I will never quite understand either one, because I am asexual.

So for people like me, yes, it is a choice. But most people aren't so lucky....

considering it optional allows people to discriminate guiltlessly - they can pretend a gay person chooses to be a subject of hate crimes and discrimination and as such, deserves it. the logic is flawed, but if a homophobic individual believed heterosexuality was equally a choice, the homophobe would think it was the correct choice rather than realizing the flaw in the logic. if people want to hate others who are unlike them, they will find a way to justify it, regardless of whether it's logical.

but i think they're missing the point (as well as being hateful and wrong) .. even if someone did choose to love someone of the same gender (rather than following a biological imperative to), who cares?

I also suspect that the people who spend the most energy on homophobia believe that everyone has homosexual urges, but the righteous choose to suppress them.

Deep breath. Here goes.

First of all, I am not going to quote the Bible, because I am almost certain that every LGBT person here has heard every slam-Scripture there is. When I was a smoker, I didn't like to have lung cancer statistics thrown in my face. I'm not going to do that to gay people either. I'm not here to try to convince anyone that they are wrong. I'm only stating the way I see it, not the way I think anyone else should see it.

The same way an alcoholic may have been born with the propensity but still chooses to pick up a drink, by "lifestyle," I mean choosing to give in to the inborn nature. One cannot help being born either gay or straight. It can even be said that we can't help who we love. But one chooses with whom one has sex. That's all I meant.

Praying to God that I have offended nobody. Peace and love to all of you.

This is the conclusion I've come to after years of debating with people that think it's a choice. They honestly believe they made the choice to be straight, and it is the correct choice.

homosexuality cannot be compared to alcoholism. it is not psychologically or physically dangerous (unless someone is assaulted because of their sexual orientation), it does not benefit the gay person to deny their urges, it does not impair one's judgment or ability to articulate sentences, walk a straight line, drive an automobile, or anything else.

i subscribe to no god and you have not offended me personally (i am not gay), but you are advocating that homosexuals deny themselves part of their being, the part which has to do with loving one another, and which causes you no harm and makes them happy and which virtually everyone who is not asexual considers a healthy and important part of living.

i would not call this peace and love. so neither back to you.