My coming out story. What's yours?

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I am out to my parents technically, however they treat me as if I were bi or straight. On my 18th birthday, I came out to my parents, the day before my birthday I placed a coming out letter, that I had written, in one of my presents.

When they brought me the presents on the morning of my birthday, my mum saw the letter which was wrapped in an envelope addressed to her. She opened it, and remarked about how she "had always suspected".

In the letter I wrote about how I used to get bullied for being gay (or sometimes just for being suspected of such) this made her upset, and she told me that she wished that I had told her sooner about it. While I was writing the letter I did wonder if perhaps mentioning the bullying would be too soon/ a lot to take in, and that perhaps I should leave it out, but in the end I decided to include it.

Granted, I realised that coming out on my birthday did pose a great risk. If it had gone wrong then that would've certainly put a damper on things. But thankfully it didn't. After that day she didn't mention it for a while, but then she brought it up a month later.

We were walking along on a beach, and she commented about how although she expected that I would probably come out some day, she didn't expect me to do so at this age. Apparently she always thought that I would come out in my early to mid 20's, and that she was surprised to see me come out at 18.

Then she started asking some really awkward questions, and talking about how men didn't take her fancy until 19. Well, I certainly didn't expect to be talking about that with my mother.

After that she kept asking if I was sure, and mentioning/bringing up the fact that she was a late bloomer.

I guess since she didn't start figuring these things out until later than I did, it made her think that I'm too young to know for sure.

My mum doesn't tend to bring this stuff up much, but occasionally when I talk about some of my male friends she remarks "Ooo, I think they have a crush on you! How exciting!". Ugh, mum, no, I'm gay, please stop trying to set me up with my friends. Just no.

Also, I have to wonder what it was I did throughout my life so far that made my mum suspect. Her reaction surprised me quite a bit, how long has she been expecting me to come out in my 20's for?

Just the fact that it was "Wait, you're coming out now, instead of a few years from now?" instead of "Wait, you're gay?" made me laugh.

I know it's a pain in the butt----but your mother really wants you to be straight. She sounds like sort of an old-fashioned woman.

I would tend to believe that you thought about this long and hard, and came to the conclusion that you are gay. I don't believe this is an "experiment" with you.

How do you get along with her, otherwise?

Now...if you didn't like both tea AND crumpets, I would really wonder about you

I never really needed to come out as asexual because no one really felt strongly about it. Although my parents are somewhat conservative, they told me that they will still love me even if I was gay or bi. And the people in my area do not really have prejudice towards people of different orientations as long as they dont make a huge display of it (in the way vegans like to tell you that they are vegan without you actually having talked about a food related topic in the first place). Hell, my region is kind of tightly knit. The people here are only slightly xenophobic.

well... I've come out of a few closets... but I'll stick with the times that I've come out to my mom since you mentioned your mom.

When 9-11 happened I was 19 years old. I had just lost my job about a month before and my family took me to a gay bar for the first time the night that I was fired. When the tragedy occurred I was overcome with emotions and "live for today" feelings like everyone else... and I decided I would come out asap. So on a Friday night (September 14, 2001) sitting outside of a bar I downed a bunch of vodka that I had brought with me... and I said I had to tell her something... and then in the middle of the panic attack... I explained that I wasn't straight. She asked me a few questions but mostly just said that she was happy I told her. Then I proceeded to go into the gay bar... where I was working as a sound engineer for drag shows... and told everyone that I had just come out... they said things and reacted in ways but I don't remember any of it lol...

I never came out as binary trans, but I did at one point ask my mom to call me her daughter, and suggested that I preferred my girl name. She played along a little but as I faded back into binary-gender expression so did those agreements.

Around 2010 or so I started identifying as asexual. So I had a conversation with her. I explained what it was and how I felt like I identified with it. I explained that it was a big part of why I hadn't dated anyone in like 7 years lol... that was no-friction.

Last month (1/20) I came out as non-binary transgender. I had to spend about 30 minutes explaining what that meant and clarify that I am not just getting back into putting on makeup, and that it's more than a fashion statement. That I feel real gender dysphoria, and the difficulties of being misgendered "he's a good man" being incredibly grating to hear for me and stuff like that. Eventually she understood... I asked her a week later to start calling me by my androgynous name but she doesn't really say my name so that hasn't stuck... and I think she kinda forgot most of what I've told her... but when she remembers she's supportive

infinitenull, why do you need labels? Why do you need to subscribe to a specific gender or pronoun? If you were me, if someone asked what my gender was, I would say "I dont care what it is" or "I do not understand gender and therefore do not believe in it." If I feel like putting on makeup and a wig, I will just put on makeup and a wig. Usually, I appear to be a guy who strangely smells female. I was born male, yet everyone says that I smell like a woman or slightly like female pheromones. So I don't really care so much about identity and have no dysphoria regarding my genitalia. I sometimes wish I was more androgynous though (my body currently is bouncer-esque, if I dont shave for two weeks I got a beard, etc.)

For me I always knew I was gay since I was four years old, I was really feminine and flamboyant and I wore womens clothes and the like, I grew up a very lonely kid with no friends until 6th grade but it ended in 7th grade. In 7th grade I was bullied for two years being called gay and other names, thats when I found out what the name was and so during 7th grade through 8th grade everyday at recess and lunch I would go and hide in the back of the classroom or hide under the steps and I would take my shoes and socks off and I would eat my lunch while I rubbed my feet and played with my toes, I did this everyday as a way to comfort myself while I cried most days but it felt good to do it and by doing this to my feet it made me happy once again. I always went in my bare feet all the time and so I grew up gay all through my 40s and it has been a very lonely road with no friends since 6th grade, I am so happy that I am gay and so growing up gay has been the greatest gift God has blessed me with. If given the option to be straight or gay I would continue to be gay because I am very happy with being gay and I dont ever want to change my sexual orientation.

I was pushed out of it when my cousin told my dad about my girlfriend, when I was 13. I was terrified, but it wasn't a big deal. Since I was so young, he just took it as being a phase. It hasn't come up since then, as I haven't been in a relationship with a woman (well, except for the 13 year old girlfriend) so I guess I'm still kind of in the closet. I don't see a reason to make an announcement about it. Who I sleep with is none of his business, and since my sexuality seems to be pretty fluid, it would probably be awkward if I were to jump in and out of closets all the time.

I can't actually decide if I'm... anything. My father is bisexual and used to identify as a woman. I've grown up in a family where gender identity and sexuality are mostly meaningless (mostly because of my dad. My mother is more old fashioned and doesn't discuss sexuality at all, although she supports my decisions in a detached way.) I'm a virgin and celibate (not incel, I chose not to have sex because I think it's disgusting) so I suppose I'm very, very asexual. I have crushes on both genders but no sexual interest in either. I get mistaken for a man and I'm flattered by that. I didn't "come out" because I've never been closeted about anything. Does that make any sense? No? Oh. Nevermind.

[img]m.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=140124510077712&id=100022404914360&set=piaarp.100022404914360&source=42&ref=[/img]For me I always knew I was gay since I was four years old, I was really feminine and flamboyant and I wore womens clothes and the like, I grew up a very lonely kid with no friends until 6th grade but it ended in 7th grade. In 7th grade I was bullied for two years being called gay and other names, thats when I found out what the name was and so during 7th grade through 8th grade everyday at recess and lunch I would go and hide in the back of the classroom or hide under the steps and I would take my shoes and socks off and I would eat my lunch while I rubbed my feet and played with my toes, I did this everyday as a way to comfort myself while I cried most days but it felt good to do it and by doing this to my feet it made me happy once again. I always went in my bare feet all the time and so I grew up gay all through my 40s and it has been a very lonely road with no friends since 6th grade, I am so happy that I am gay and so growing up gay has been the greatest gift God has blessed me with. If given the option to be straight or gay I would continue to be gay because I am very happy with being gay and I dont ever want to change my sexual orientation.[/quote]

For me I always knew I was gay since I was four years old, I was really feminine and flamboyant and I wore womens clothes and the like, I grew up a very lonely kid with no friends until 6th grade but it ended in 7th grade. In 7th grade I was bullied for two years being called gay and other names, thats when I found out what the name was and so during 7th grade through 8th grade everyday at recess and lunch I would go and hide in the back of the classroom or hide under the steps and I would take my shoes and socks off and I would eat my lunch while I rubbed my feet and played with my toes, I did this everyday as a way to comfort myself while I cried most days but it felt good to do it and by doing this to my feet it made me happy once again. I always went in my bare feet all the time and so I grew up gay all through my 40s and it has been a very lonely road with no friends since 6th grade, I am so happy that I am gay and so growing up gay has been the greatest gift God has blessed me with. If given the option to be straight or gay I would continue to be gay because I am very happy with being gay and I dont ever want to change my sexual orientation.[/quote]